Sunset's Shimmer
by Hawki
Summary: Rainbow Rocks Adaptation: Months had passed since the Fall Formal. Canterlot High had yet to forgive Sunset for actions, and she too had yet to forgive herself. Then, came the Dazzlings. Twilight's return. And all the while, a splinter in her mind. The whispers of one thought long gone...
1. Generosity

**My Little Pony: Sunset's Shimmer**

 **Chapter 1: Generosity**

I had the dream again.

She's always there, in my mind. Like a nail within my skull, unable to be removed. Always delivering poison. Mostly, the walls within my mind stand strong. They send the poison down into my body. My heart beats, however wounded, and the poison is excised. Back into yesterday, not forgotten, whether the day be old or young. But at night, my mind is weary. At night, long after the sun has set, it begins. At night, I see her. At night, she comes alive.

Come the dawn I wake, the sun already risen. Come dawn, I leave for Canterlot High. I drive my car, racing towards the light. I park on the street, well away from the school's car park. Come soon or late, I will have to step into the light of day, and into the school's illuminated interior. Soon or late, the bell will ring, and marching orders will be given. But for now, I rest my hands on the steering wheel, and my head on my hands. Asking myself, "what the heck am I doing?" Asking if it's worth the time and effort, if I should just quit now, and just try and get the portal open. Asking whether I should just stay in the car, or even better, drive west. This world is so different from home. It orbits its sun, and not the other way round. But it sets in the west all the same. In the west, I can hide. I've had this car for three years, when I obtained it from a scrap-yard and refitted it to working order. For three years, it's been my home.

I hear the bell ring. I sigh, and rub my eyes. For now, I think, I'll bear it. For now, I say, I'll stay in the light. I reach back to pick up my bag, and open the door. Taking care to not look in the rear-view mirror.

I don't want to see her looking back at me.

* * *

The gym is big.

I mean, I knew that way before now. The gym of Canterlot High is big. Big enough to have a plethora of streamers and balloons for the Fall Formal. I remember what happened after the last one, how the pictures of Fall Formal winners were mounted on the wall. The last three of them were of me. They told my story better than any words could, how in span of three years, the old me, the person who, at best, had fled Equestria because of not waiting to learn about the mirror, had gone to the girl who, in a year's time, would turn into a monster greater than even what the portraits showed. So I chucked them in the bin the night after the debacle. No-one saw fit to retrieve them. Can't say I was aggrieved. And let's not even start on what I did at the last Spring Fling.

So yes, the gym is big. Big enough to hold the entire school, even if they're not all here now. But it's not lacking in students either, as we all get ready for the musical showcase. Taking a breath, I walk in – time to make some friends, right? Magic of friendship, right? No better way to do it than through music, right, what with being the universal language and whatnot? I keep walking, and try to ignore the glances and whispers. I know they don't like me. You don't like someone who mentally enslaved you in a bid to conquer an entire world after all. But hey, straight and narrow. Marching on, one leg after another. Straight on, straight on, straight to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. One of many cliques who are working on a poster for the event. I see Sweetie Belle holding up a pot of paint with the brush inside it. I reach out and take it, smiling.

It's at this very instant that I feel like kicking myself, and doing so with the force of a hoof rather than the softer feet that carry me. _Idiot_ , my mind says. _You took the brush without asking. It's the kind of thing the old you would have done._

I can't argue with that, but I still smile, hoping to salvage things. "Want some help?" I ask, hoping that it sounds sincere. And it is sincere – I want to help. I want to make amends. Painting a poster isn't the be all and end all for redemption, but it's a start. Yet, the girls don't want my help. I can see that in an instant. The way they look at me. The way covers a noise of surprise with a cough. The way Applebloom says, "no thanks, we're good." The way she sounds more…scared, than anything.

"Oh. Okay," I say, and return the paintbrush to the pot. I feel like I'm burning up. Like it's summer, and not the last month of autumn. It's not so much the refusal of help that gets to me. It's the silence that follows it. That long, awkward, horrible silence. A silence even worse than the sound of whispers.

"Sunset Shimmer!" cries out a voice. "Over here!"

It's Pinkie, along with the rest of the Rainbooms. I smile, and head over, braving the gauntlet of whispers and glances. Did I say that silence is worse than whispers? I take it back. Crossing a floor filled with people who detest you…it's like crossing a desert. A big, long, hostile desert filled with vultures, with tears the only source of water.

I let out a sigh as I reach the girls. "I had no idea the whole school would be here."

Once more, silence. Fluttershy puts a hand on my shoulder, the rest remain silent for a moment. Even at the end of the desert, I still have to bear the thorns. But it's Rarity who breaks the silence, as she and Pinkie hold up the poster they're working on. "Quite the eye-catching advertisement, if I do say so myself," she declares proudly.

It's good, no doubt about it. A treble clef, a guitar, drums, a keyboard…it doesn't have Fluttershy's tambourine, but hey, it's art. I know art when I see it…I think…I spent most of the time studying magic and the theory behind it rather than more abstract concepts. Maybe that's why I fell short on the whole friendship thing. So while they discuss how it smells of cake (courtesy of Pinkie using frosting instead of paste), I remain silent. I still laugh as Fluttershy tries to get some of it off her face. Laughing feels good. I don't need to quantify that.

"Good afternoon students."

We all turn to see Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna walk in, and watch as they cross the floor. The school holds them in high regard. Smiles, thumbs up, they're all there. Me? I wonder what the Celestia of my world is doing. What she's thinking, and not for the first time. At least, not since the Fall Formal, prior to which I barely gave my old mentor any thought. I watch as she reaches the gym's centre. "I just wanted to tell you all how pleased I am that so many of you are going to participate in the first ever Canterlot High School Musical Showcase."

The students cheer, and I can't help but smile. Being a school principal is a bit of a step down from being a princess. But the ability to inspire others to follow you is there. No doubt about it. For a moment, I forget about everything. Believe I'm a student like any other.

"This is a wonderful opportunity to raise money for all our after-school programs here at CHS," she continues. "So keep working on those signs and posters. I think it's going to be one of the most exciting events we've had at CHS since the Fall Formal."

 _Oh no._

There's no cheers this time. Only stares. Whispers. An awful lot of scissors.

I sink to the ground, and cover my face in my hands. Withstanding the silence. Waiting for it to be broken. Listening as Celestia and Luna walk out, their footsteps echoing on the wooden floor. Waiting for the Rainbooms to say something. Anything.

But they remain silent.

* * *

It's through unspoken awkwardness that we leave the gym. Through unspoken kinship that we end up in the music room. Through unspoken…unspokenness that I sit on the room's piano as the girls pick up their instruments. Finally, I speak, letting it out.

"Ugh," I say. "I'm never gonna live that down."

"You were pretty bad at the Fall Formal," Fluttershy says, as she reaches for her tambourine.

"A demon," I say – may as well get it all out. "I turned into a raging she-demon."

"And tried to turn everyone here into teenage zombies for your own personal army," Pinkie adds.

 _Oh. Right._

"Oh darling," Rarity says. "You have us. And we've forgiven you for your past…boo-boos."

I can't help but smile as the girls nod their heads in agreement. Even as I reflect on the word – "boo-boo." That's far too tame a description. Because I…the old me…was fully conscious in my decision to try and conquer Equestria. Looking back at it now, I can recognise it as a terrible idea with absolutely no chance of success (a few hundred teenagers conquering a kingdom? Seriously?), but boo-boo implies an accident. So, what word encapsulates the past actions that have made the music room the only place of solace within the school?

"To be honest, Applejack says, as she gets her guitar ready, "I'd say the whole experience brought everyone at Canterlot High closer than ever before."

 _Screw-up._

Not Applejack. Me. That's the word I'm looking for. "Screw-up." Screwed up in Equestria, screwed up in this world, the screw's now so loose that I don't know which way to push, while the wood strangles me.

 _Screw-up._

But for a few minutes, I can forget that, as the Rainbooms begin their song. They play, and I watch, as usual. Not that I'm complaining – I'm lucky enough to even be let in here, let alone hang out with them.

 _There was a time we were apart,_

 _But that's behind us now._

 _See how we've made a brand new start_

 _And the future's lookin' up, ah-oh, ah-oh!_

The song's called _Better Than Ever_ – one of the first songs the band composed (well, Rainbow actually – she's done most of their compositions), and as a first, it's quite good. Not just in its music and structure, but thematically as well. Better than ever, as in, after the…boo-boo, the school's better than ever, they're better than ever, life, as a whole, is better than ever. So, I find myself getting into the beat.

 _Better now._

The voice tries to assert itself, and I let it. Better than ever. As in, better than when I drove them apart? When I interviewed them for that faux news story, so I'd know how they met, and therefore, know exactly how to drive them apart? Yeah…I mean, just talking to each other would be better than what I did to them, but, well, better than ever. They didn't have a band back then at least.

 _They might be even better if you got out of their way._

That's a thought I try to suppress, and watching the girls 'pony up' makes it easy to do so. Tails, pony ears, and in the case of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, wings. It isn't the first time this has happened, and the girls have kind of just accepted it.

 _Oh yeah we're better than ever!_

The song ends, and the pony parts fade out. I clap enthusiastically.

"I still can't believe that happens when we play!" Rarity exclaims, as the girls put aside their instruments. "Ooh! I've got to look into some new accessories! Something that looks good in a longer ponytail. Ooh! Maybe some clip-on earrings for when I get those adorable pony ears."

 _Wouldn't you need to put the earrings on while you're playing?_

"I just wonder why it happens," Applejack says. "Princess Twilight took her crown back to Equestria. Shouldn't that mean she took all the magic back with her?"

It's a good question – oh, sure, the group's accepted this quirk, but that's not to say they don't question at all. Me, though? I'd love to know how and why it works, to not just question the process, but actually understand it. Magic doesn't work the same way in this world, but it's got some amazing technology to make up for that. I mean, if I could get them to play in the science lab or something, but…But I remain silent. I can't ask them to do that for me. It's not my place, and I don't want to ruin a good thing. Not when I've already ruined so much up until now.

"Who cares why it happens?" Rainbow asks. "It makes my band totally awesome!

 _Your band?_ I wonder.

"Oh? Your band?" Rarity asks.

"Duh! It was my idea to start the Rainbooms so we could be in the showcase. Plus I'm the lead singer and guitarist," Rainbow says.

All of that's true, I reflect. And, after all, I don't really have a say in it – I'm not part of the band after all. Still, at least from the Rainbooms perspective, would it be better to say "our band?" I-

There's a knock on the music room door, followed by the sound of it opening. Why knock if you're just going to barge open, you-

 _Oh no._

Forget about bands. Forget about words like "our" and "my." Forget about everything, just try to look inconspicuous in the corner, and think _sweet Celestia, please don't look at me._ Because there's some people in life, in this world or otherwise, that I'm not ready to face. Flash Sentry is one of those people.

"Heard you outside," he says as he walks into the music room. "You guys are sounding really tight."

 _Please don't look at me, please don't look at me._

"Uh, we're getting there," says Rainbow. "Rarity's still coming in a little late on the second verse, and Applejack's bass solo could use a little work. They'll get it together in time for the showcase."

Is that true? I don't recall any…oh, good, he hasn't noticed me. Please keep it that way.

"Uh, I don't suppose any of our friends from, uh... out of town might come?" he asks. "Uh, it being a special charity event and all."

 _That's a lot of 'uhs.' And what kind of-_

"Sorry Flash," says Applejack. "I don't think Twilight's gonna be back at Canterlot High any time soon."

 _Oh. Right._

He laughs nervously. "Oh, yeah. Okay. I just, you know, thought I'd ask. Uh, k-keep on rockin' it."

He backs away into the wall, blushes, then heads out the door, leaving it open. A silence falls over the room – a silence that I don't break by letting out a sigh of relief, no matter how inclined I am to do so. That was awkward, but not nearly as awkward as it could have been.

"Well," says Rarity, letting out a giggle. "Someone is quite the smitten kitten."

Part of me feels down after hearing that. And Rarity must notice, because she looks at me, concern in her eyes. I meet them.

"Oh, sorry. I always forget you and Flash used to be an item."

"It's okay," I say. "Flash is a great guy and all, but I never really _liked_ -him liked him. I was just using him to become more popular."

The girls look horrified, and Fluttershy lets out a gasp of surprise. And, once again, I feel like going into the corner and trying to look inconspicuous. Or better yet, find a rock to hide under. I sigh. "The old me really was just awful, wasn't she?"

The girls nod. Pinkie lets out a "yep." And I can't blame them. I also can't help but wonder if Flash's entrance was him not so much not noticing me, but rather not wanting to speak to me.

And who can blame him, I wonder? And what I also wonder is, have I changed? I'd like to think so, but there was me less than a minute ago, thinking less about poor Flash embarrassing himself, and pining for a girl who's in another dimension, and thinking more about me escaping that embarrassment. Is that selfish? I can't help but feel so.

"Well, past's in the past," Applejack says. "Important thing is that you've turned yourself around."

"Thanks, Applejack, but I'm not sure everyone else at CHS feels the same way." Heck, I don't even know if I feel the same way. But I do know that there's stuff to be done, specifically the bidding of Vice-Principal Luna, whose voice sounds out over the intercom, asking me to report to the main foyer.

"Gotta run," I say. "I volunteered to show some new students around the school. Thought it'd be good for them to get to know the new me before they heard all the stuff about the old me."

Rainbow gives me an idle wave, while the rest of the band returns to their instruments. The old me. Yeah…I'm counting on one, two hours tops at the most before "old me" comes to the fore.

But, those hours have to count, so I head for the foyer. Listening to the sound of _Awesome as I Wanna Be_ echo from the music room. I want to be there. I want to play. But, priorities. Hopes. Dreams. Desperation. They have to come first.

"A new leaf, Sunset," I murmur to myself, walking through the empty halls, and feeling glad for the isolation. "Time for a new leaf."

* * *

I need to pee.

Can you believe that? I can't. I mean, seriously?! Bathroom break?! Now?!

Alright, fine – I pop into the girls' loos for a quick drip, a quick sip, and then back to the foyer. This has to be a good first impression. Being late will harm that first impression, but there's other things that could harm it much more. So, fine, I empty my bladder, flush the loo, and move over to the sink. A quick detour, that's all, I tell myself, as I stare at the running water, looping down into the sink like a star does a black hole. It's not like I'm hiding or anything.

 _Liar._

I stop still, the water still running. The black hole consuming the light of stars. My own light, dimming.

 _You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me._

My own eyes come up to the mirror, meeting hers. Those black, pitiless eyes. As if they're a pair of black holes, and I'm a star being ripped apart.

"What do you want?" I murmur.

 _Ah, she talks! I thought you said you weren't going to do that anymore._

I return to the sink, and begin washing my hands again. With soap this time. I keep on scrubbing, and scrubbing, and-

 _So, tell me – why did you volunteer to show the new girls around?_

I keep on scrubbing. Wanting to wash it all away. To wash _her_ away.

 _Well?_

"Because I want to help," I murmur.

 _Liar._

"It's the truth," I say, a bit too loudly.

 _What did I say about not lying to me?_ She laughs. _Oh, Sunset, are you really so deluded?_

I turn the tap off – my skin's too raw to continue.

 _Tell me,_ she asks, _are you aware of the concept of pure altruism? That most forms of altruism can't be true altruism, because the sense of satisfaction is a reward in of itself?_

I wasn't aware…and yet I am. I have to be. That's how this works. Everything I know, she knows.

 _Course, you're a long way from that, aren't you? You're only showing the girls around in a vain hope for new friends, and in the even vainer hope that you can make up for everything you've done._

I dry my hands, shutting my eyes.

 _The element of generosity, Sunset? It isn't yours._

"I know," I whisper. I throw the paper towel I've been using in the bin. "But I don't need you to tell me that."

I open the bathroom door and slam it, heading back down the hall. Making up for lost time. Trying to get away from her.

I feel her laughter chasing me.

* * *

I'm skipping down the hall to the foyer. I would be running, but that might seem awkward to the new girls. And I don't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing me run. So, no – skipping it is. And, I have to admit, I'm actually eager to meet the new girls. Right here, right now, they won't know anything about me. Over the next fifteen minutes, I have the chance to make some new, proper friends. Oh, sure, the Rainbooms are fine, but I'm not really part of their group, let alone their band. I'm just the one who hangs out and pretends that everything is normal.

Is that selfish, I wonder? I can't blame them for hating me, but can I blame myself for wanting more?

 _Yes._

Is this altruistic, I wonder, as I slow down, recalling what was discussed earlier? Or done in self-interest? Like what the old me would have done?

 _Maybe._

Well, now's the moment of truth. They're standing in the foyer by the door, in the shadows. So with a big smile, I say, "hi. Are you the girls I'm supposed to show around?"

They step into the light of the foyer, and I can see them properly. "We are," says their leader.

Okay, that's a bit presumptuous, but honestly, that's the first word that comes to mind. Leader. Followed by "confident." All three of the girls carry themselves like that – fancy dress, fancy hair, fancy…everything. Yet assured. A bit like the old me, I think, but without the baggage of attempted mind control.

"Great," I say. "Well, Canterlot High is an excellent school. Let's begin."

"Oh yes," says the girls' leader. "We really sense there's something… _magical_ , about this place."

They exchange smug glances, and I feel less spring in my step. They're obviously close friends – the type of people who can say a lot without saying anything. A clique, and one that'll be hard to integrate myself into.

Names are exchanged quickly – Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk. All beautiful names, I reflect. It's with unease that I give my name as Sunset Shimmer – it's only a matter of time before the words "Fall Formal" and "Sunset Shimmer" reach these girls' ears, and they hear about what the latter did during the former. But, I have to see this through. I have to prove that I can be a good person, willing to show new students around the school for the right reasons. To prove it to myself, to the world, and… _her_.

"That's the science lab," I say, as the tour continues – the girls have remained silent, but attentive throughout the walk, and I can tell that in their clique, Adagio is the leader, with Aria and Sonata having her back. "Computer lab is in there." I see Rarity's poster for the musical showcase hanging on a nearby wall. "Oh," I say, running over. "We're having a big musical showcase this weekend. The whole school is pretty much rallying around it."

Adagio smiles – "a musical showcase?" she asks, glancing at her friends. I can't help but smile too – this is the first time they've seen genuinely interested in anything I've shown them. Maybe I'm doing a good job.

"Oh, yes," I say. "I'm sure Principal Celestia will let you sign up if you're interested."

"We have been known to sing from time to time," Aria says.

"Hello?" Sonata asks. "We sing, like, all the time! It's how we get people to do what we want."

 _What?_

Adagio turns around and makes a sound at her. "What? What did I say?" Sonata asks.

 _I thought you said-_

"What you _meant_ to say," says Adagio, "was that being in a musical showcase sounds like a great way to meet other students."

 _I really don't think-_

"Ohhhh, yeah. Th-What she said I meant to say. That's what I meant. To say," Sonata says awkwardly.

Aria scoffs. "And what you would have said if you weren't the worst."

"You are!" Sonata shoots back.

"You'll have to excuse them, they're idiots," Adagio says.

An awkward silence falls over us. If I didn't know better, Sonata said that they sang in order to manipulate people, that Adagio isn't so much a leader but a bully, and that something weird just went on right before me. For a moment, I'm reminded of Snips and Snails, how I had them as my lackeys for three years, giving them a tongue lashing if they failed to keep in line. But then, I don't know better. These girls are obviously close friends. I'm only projecting myself onto them. I feel disgusted at my attitude.

But I have to plough on, and that means finding a new topic to break the awkwardness. And it's at this point that I notice something – all three girls have an identical necklace. A red ruby, fastened at the neck by black leather.

"Those are pretty," I say, after letting out a nervous laugh. I reach for Adagio's. "Where did you-"

She grabs my wrist, and for a moment, our eyes meet, her anger radiating out like Celestia's morning sun. But it's only for a moment, as she lets my wrist go, and laughs awkwardly. "Sorry," she says. "These pendants mean an awful lot to us. We'd just hate for anything to happen to them."

"Right…" I say. Is it just me, or was that an overreaction? Is it just me, or is the way they say swagger off a bit…unusual?

I cringe - of course it's just me. I reached for the necklace without asking, and Adagio reacted like any normal person. That's the old me, I think to myself. Old me would have been making plans to steal them already. New me isn't so far removed from the old me that she won't think of doing the same. So it's with trepidation that I hurry after them, in order to finish the tour – it's not much further, and it ends at the cafeteria in time for lunch. I can't help but feel that the hammer's been dropped, and I'm the anvil. Can't help but feel that I've failed.

And yet part of me feels that something is wrong regardless. That these girls remind me of my old self, when power and popularity was all that I wanted. And that part refuses to go silent, even as we end the tour, and I walk into the cafeteria.

The part that wants to be as far away from them as possible.

* * *

I'm not hungry.

Not that I get lunch much anyway. Usually I get something from a vending machine and go and sit with the Rainbooms. It saves me from standing in line, sandwiched between people who hate me, and served food by people who detest me nearly as much. Every so often I give into my stomach and brave the gauntlet, but most of the time, I just skip it. Partly self-preservation, partly because I know I deserve it.

Taco Tuesday would be one of those exceptions under normal circumstances, but the circumstances I find myself in right now are anything but normal. So, I find the girls seated at their own table, all with their own lunches. I sit down beside Applejack, who asks me "so, how was the tour?"

"I don't know," I say, sighing. "I mean, these girls, they were...There was something off about them."

"Like, off like this?" Pinkie asks, forming her hair into a beard. "Or, off like this?" ('This' being carrots stuck up her nostrils and lettuce for eyebrows). "Or, oh, like-"

"Maybe we should just let her tell us," Rainbow interrupts.

"That's just it," I say. "I can't put my finger on it. They just acted sort of... strange around me."

I remain silent for a moment, wondering if I've said too much. I mean, the girls were weird, at least in my mind, but I'm not sure if my perception of things can be trusted, and I'm pretty sure that the girls are aware of that. So, were Adagio and her friends actually weird, or is it just me? Or, there is another possibility. One that I blurt out.

"Maybe someone already talked to them. Told them about what I did." I sigh, and bury my face in my arms. "So much for making a good first impression."

"Uh-huh," I hear Fluttershy say, followed by an awkward "oh, that's probably not it…" But if she's trying to convince me, she's failed. Because I know all about failure, and today is just one list of failures that can be added to a document labelled "Failures of Sunset Shimmer, Volume 2." Gym was a failure. The tour was a failure. Lunch has been a failure, because here's me, too dense to pick up on what was bothering Adagio, Sonata, and Aria all along. Instead, I was just projecting my own faults onto them.

Some semblance of conversation returns – the musical showcase, mostly, but I keep quiet. I'm not performing, and right now, I've got too much on my mind. And stomach. Sweet Celestia those tacos smell good. I wonder if-

 **Thump.**

The doors to the cafeteria burst open. We're on the far side of the room that's filled with the sound of teenagers chatting loudly, and yet still, we hear it. And what we see are Adagio, Sonata, and Aria walk in nonchalantly. Walk in, mouths open, singing some kind of melody. One by one, the students of Canterlot High fall silent and look at them. I could hear the melody before, even over the din, but as the cafeteria falls silent, it becomes the only thing I hear.

 _We heard you want to get together._

 _We heard you want to rock this school._

 _We've thought of something that is better._

 _Something that changes all the rules._

The singing is…off, I think. Functionally, tonally, rhythmically, it's perfect. Beautiful, even. But their voices, they sound…amplified, I think? Surreal? Supernatural? Voices that are far too perfect for any human or pony? I can't put my finger on it. Maybe it's just jealousy, but the way they sing, it doesn't sound…natural. Nor is the way they move, swaggering from one table to another. Saying to one student what they're actually saying to us all.

 _You're a star and you should know it._

 _Yeah, you rise above the rest._

 _It doesn't matter who you hurt._

 _If you're just proving you're the best._

I suppress a shudder. To go to any length to achieve one's end, regardless of who it might hurt. I've been down that road once before. Never again. For a moment, I'm reminded of the last time a song was performed in the cafeteria, when the Rainbooms got Twilight back in the race for the Fall Formal. The old me was disgusted by the display, and tried to frame Twilight for vandalism in a bid to knock her out of said race. The new me right now…is terrified. Because the girls are still singing. Their lyrics are saying that the musical showcase should be a battle of the bands instead, and everyone seems to agree with them. Such sudden consensus would be strange enough, but the students aren't just agreeing with the girls, they've started shouting and yelling at one another, hurling insults like snowballs. Adagio and her friends sing over the growing furore, and the Rainbooms and I just sit in the corner, staring on, dumbfounded. At the girls, at the students, at-

 _Is that smoke?_

A green haze is spreading across the room. No, it's not actual smoke, I think, but I have no idea what it could be. No-one seems to notice it, and even if they weren't yelling at each other, I'm not sure if they could. Even I can barely see it. Not so much my eyes playing tricks on me, but rather my mind. My mind, which can hear clear lyrics, clear voices, and see green mist, all at the same time. See it, and watch it weave into the girls' pendants.

 _This is wrong,_ I tell myself. _It isn't just me._

 _Isn't it?_

I shut her voice out as the trio finish their song. The mist is gone. Their voices are silent. All that remains is a bustling cafeteria, of an entire school being on-board with a battle of the bands, and with the drive to win it by any means necessary. Shouting abuse, pointing figures, asserting their greatness and the inferiority of others…Essentially, a whole school of the old me. I look at the Rainbooms, who continue to stare. Wondering, hoping, that it's some kind of mistake. That what I saw was some kind of illusion, and not the type that Trixie uses.

"Oh!" exclaims Pinkie. "They're _that_ kind of off."

That hope, like illusions, evaporates instantly.

* * *

 _A/N_

 _The origins of this story lie years ago. The original idea was to take little snippits from_ Rainbow Rocks _and convey them from Sunset's POV. As I wrote them, I realized that this was an awful lot of snippits for a oneshot, so I decided to promote it to multi-chaptered status. Returning to it years later, and seeing how short each of those snippits were...yeah. I think multi-chaptered was the way to go._

 _A potential issue I should address is why I'm novelizing_ Rainbow Rocks _when a novelization already exists? That's a fair point, and, yes, I did order the novelization from Amazon, so I could read it and make sure things synced up with it as well as the film. Well, that novelization is safely hidden on the shelves now, and having rewatched_ Rainbow Rocks _(which isn't so bad, it's easily the best_ Equestria Girls _film IMO), gaining a lot of handwritten notes in the process, I will say that there's certainly overlap, but while_ Rainbow Rocks _uses loose third person, this is based entirely on first person, and hopefully unique enough with its additions to be worth people's time. And since I'd argue that the first three EQG films are actually Sunset's story rather than Twilight's (which is another point of discussion entirely), hopefully it can stand alone._


	2. Kindness

**My Little Pony: Sunset's Shimmer**

 **Chapter 2: Kindness**

It doesn't take us long to leave the cafeteria, and speaking personally, exiting it doesn't come quick enough – it reminds me too much of the gym, only with the animosity out in the open. As we walk down the hall towards the principal's office, it only takes me slightly longer to say what we're all thinking.

"Those three are definitely in possession of some kind of dark magic," I say. "How else could you explain what happened back there?"

"Don't worry, y'all," Applejack says. "We'll let Principal Celestia know all about this and those girls will be kicked to the curb in no time."

I smile – Applejack's right. We can nip this in the bud, and get back to preparing for a musical showcase. Granted, I won't actually be participating in that, but-

"I mean," Applejack continues, "the last thing she needs is another CHS event almost ruined by some power-crazed lunatic." She gives me an awkward look. "No offence."

I sigh. "None taken." I mean it. It hurts, but I can't blame Applejack (or any of the girls) for being honest. They've been kind to me. Kinder than I deserve. I figure that if I can help "nip this in the bud," it'll be one step closer to making things all better. Maybe I'll never be able to live down the catastrophe that was the Fall Formal, but with any luck, I'll be able to stop another "boo boo" from happening.

So we keep walking, the exception being Rainbow, who's kicking a soccer ball into every surface imaginable, and Pinkie who's doing…well, Pinkie stuff. I can't explain it, and right now, I have no desire to try. The explaining up ahead is going to be much more important.

* * *

It's not easy, being in Celestia's office.

She's not the Celestia of my world, I tell myself. She doesn't even know that an alicorn named Celestia who rules over an entire kingdom exists. She doesn't know that I was the pupil of that ruler, who was given everything by her, and threw it all away. I look at her as she and Luna invite us in, and wonder…what would it be like? What if, one day, I returned to Canterlot Castle, and saw my old mentor? How would it go? What would I say? Would I be forgiven? Should I?

"So girls," says the Celestia of this world. "What's this all about?"

With not a second passing, the Rainbooms begin telling her about the events in the cafeteria. I add my voice to the chorus, but my mind remains elsewhere. My thoughts dwell of home. My teacher. My family. My friends…oh, wait. I don't have any friends back in Equestria. Silly me. Well, least I've got friends here…I think…sort of…certainly I hang out with the Rainbooms on a regular basis at least.

 _Go home? Ridiculous. You went home only to steal Twilight's crown last time, do you really think Celestia would want anything to do with you now?_

I squash her voice as the Celestia of this world gets up to look out the window, and the babble dies down. I swallow, the bitterness of two worlds being washed down with it.

"Dark magic?" Celestia asks. "I find that very hard to believe." She looks back at us and sits at her desk. "Those girls came into my office earlier and were absolutely delightful."

 _Well, they seemed that way at first, but-_

Luna interrupts before I can say anything, clearing her throat and giving me a gaze that could make a flower wither. "Perhaps Sunset Shimmer is just eager to make someone else to be a bad element, so that her actions at the Fall Formal will become old news."

A cold weight is growing in my stomach, but like the gaze, I manage to resist it. "I can see why you might think so," I say, rubbing my neck, "but-"

"That's not what's happening," Rainbow blurts out. "We all saw this go down in the cafeteria too."

I give her a grateful look, but Celestia's gaze is unchanged. "Yes," she says, "but isn't your band supposed to be part of the musical showcase?"

"Yes," says Rainbow awkwardly, as if not sure where this is going. Can't say I blame her – I don't know where it's going either. The two principles exchange a glance.

"Perhaps you're all just worried that the Dazzlings will steal your spotlight," says Luna.

"The Dazzlings?" Applejack asks.

"It's the name of their musical group," Celestia explains. "That's why they came by my office earlier, to sign up for the showcase."

That weight in my stomach is growing heavier. Maybe Adagio and her cronies would have found out about the event anyway, but I'm the one who told them about it. I'm the one who…who…

 _Screw-up._

"Even sang a little song to Vice Principal Luna and me," Celestia continues, and for the first time since I've been in this office, heck, the first time since the Fall Formal, I'm able to meet her in the eye. To look into it and see…nothing. So spark, no drive, nothing.

 _The heck?_

I may be a screw up, but I didn't forget everything I learnt back home. I know mesmerisation when I see it. And not only because I tried a similar stunt a few months ago.

"They…sung a song for you?" Applejack asks, and it hits me – the cafeteria. Singing to Celestia and Luna. It all makes sense. A horrific, spine-numbing sense.

"Yes," Celestia says, her voice entering a monotone. "And we think having a battle of the bands instead of a showcase is a marvellous idea. In fact…"

"We've never wanted anything more," say Celestia and Luna together. Both in monotone. Like robots, I reflect, if I'm using an example from this world. But mind control is the example that comes from my own world. A world where the Celestia I knew still rules. A Celestia I could never meet in the eye. This one, her eyes I can meet, and see nothing. Looking at Luna, it's no better.

 _They've ensnared them._

The girls take the hint and begin to excuse themselves from the office, filing out. I'm the last to reach the door, but before exiting, I give the sisters one last glance. They're discussing the upcoming battle of the bands. Doing the will of the Dazzlings.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. But they don't hear me. So I head out into the hall, and ask myself, which Celestia am I apologizing to?

And will they ever hear me?

* * *

It's still lunch break, and we quickly head outside to the Wondercolt statue – a giant lump of marble depicting a magnificent stallion, that also happens to hold the portal between this world and Equestria. Funny little twist of the multiverse I suppose. I mean, this world has horses, ponies, but no unicorns or pegasi, least not outside their myths. Does that mean there's some kind of human species in my world somewhere? Is it coincidence, or is the universe arranged in such a way that there's a copy of all of us, playing out in infinite combinations, where ponies are just one part of said combinations? As I let my mind wander, I think "what if?" What if I'd waited? What if I could have come here with my old mentor, and studied? Investigated? What if… I sigh, and lean against the statue as the Rainbooms mill around in awkward silence. There's so many 'what ifs?" Maybe in one of those alternate universes, alternate me made an alternate choice, and lived alternately ever after. It's a nice thought – one of the few I've had all day.

"I can't believe they got to Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna too," Fluttershy says, breaking the silence between us. Saying what we're all thinking.

"They've gotten to everybody," Rainbow adds.

"Not everybody," Pinkie says.

 _Huh?_

Applejack nods. "Pinkie Pie's right. "We were there when the Dazzlings were singin' and we weren't affected. It was like we were protected somehow."

 _Oh._ I'd forgotten about that – my mind's been so focused on alternate possibilities and alternate worlds, that I've missed what's been staring me in the face all along.

"So let's take them down," Rainbow says, balancing a soccer ball on her head. "It's not like we haven't tangled with dark magic before and totally whooped its sorry butt!" She stops short, the ball falls into her hands, and she gives me an embarrassed look. "Uh, no offence."

I sigh. "None taken. Again." I don't say anything after that, as the reality of the here and now hits me with the force of the marble the Wondercolt statue is made out of. Let's say we do defeat the Dazzlings. What then? It doesn't erase what I did at the Fall Formal. No-one's going to forget, let alone forgive. That the Rainbooms even say "no offence" is about as good as it's going to get.

"But that was when Twilight was here," Fluttershy says. I watch, as she lets a ladybug that was resting on her finger fly away. "There may be some kind of magic inside us, but it only comes out when we play music. I sure don't know how to use it to whoop anybody's butt."

I watch the ladybug fly off. Small, insignificant, unnoticed by the world. I know the feeling. I envy it right now though.

"If only we could get a message to Twilight," Rarity says. "Maybe she could tell us how to break the spell the Dazzlings have cast on our friends."

"Well that's not going to happen. The portal's closed." Rainbow throws the soccer ball against the statue – it bounces off and comes right back at her. "And I get the feeling they don't exactly have cell phones where she's from."

They don't. Even if we did, I doubt we could even use them with our hooves. But I don't say anything – Rainbow didn't ask me. And it's not like I have anything useful to add anyway.

 _Course you don't._

Isn't that pathetic, I think? I'm from Equestria, but what do I have to contribute? Nothing. No magic, no bright ideas, nothing. I can't even tell the Rainbooms anything about the Dazzlings bar the obvious, that they've enthralled Celestia and Luna, and got the whole school up in arms. They've done in less than an hour what it took me three years to do.

 _Pathetic._

Yep, that's the word, I think to myself.

 _If only Twilight were here._

Yep, of course, I think, ashamed of the thoughts. Bring Twilight here. Celestia's prized pupil. She'll make everything right, won't she? They're the Equestrian the Rainbooms _really_ want, right? She'll fix everything up good, then leave, probably uttering something about my friends teaching me about the magic of friendship, and-

 _Enough!_

That, at least, is my own thought, and not hers. Even though I don't know where my thoughts end and hers begin. But I know what she is. Know that I'm going insane, and that in the end, there's no real difference. Insane enough to-

"Actually," I say to the girls, "I think I may have a way that we can get in touch with Princess Twilight."

That gets their attention. "Come on, follow me," I say, and I head for my locker. I can't promise them anything. But it's an idea. And if there's a chance I might be useful for once, I'm going to take it.

However slim it may be.

* * *

There aren't many personal effects in my locker. Sometimes, you can look inside a person's locker and have it tell you everything about its owner. But I'm not really the one for that kind of thing. Besides, I've only got three years of memories in this world, and the majority of that time was focused on getting back to Equestria, along with obtaining the means to conquer it. Sure, Equestria itself has given me plenty of memories, but as far as physical mementos? Only one. And it's this memento that I pull out of a cardboard box – a leather-bound book, emblazoned with a rendition of a blazing sun - my cutie mark, to be exact. I turn around and show it to the Rainbooms.

"When I was Princess Celestia's student back in Equestria, she gave me this," I say. I brush off the dust that's accumulated on the book's cover. "Even after I abandoned my studies, I held onto it. Deep down, I guess I knew I was making a big mistake, and I wanted to still have a way to reach out to her."

I flip through the pages, gaining brief glimpses of words written long ago. Written in a different world by a different type of being, who was arguably a different person altogether. It's true, that this was a gift from Celestia to me. I don't mention that it was actually her first gift, a way of welcoming me as her student. Looking at my writings, I recall that for a time, it was a position I realized the value of. But soon, I come to the end of the entries, faced with nothing but blank pages. I run my hand over the parchment, thinking of what I would have written if things had turned out differently. Of what I may say right now.

"Maybe it still works," I murmur.

"That's a book, darling," Rarity says. "What do you mean 'maybe still works?'"

"It used to be if I wrote something here, it would appear in the pages of a book back in Princess Celestia's library," I explain. "I get a message to her, then she can get a message to Princess Twilight."

 _Or she comes herself._

"So what are you waiting for?" Rainbow asks. "Get to writing!"

I look up from the book and see her dangling a pen in front of me, a big grin on her face – as if dangling candy in front of a child, in the sly knowledge of the long-term harm it'll do me. Like a snake offering an apple. I don't smile back, and it's with some hesitation that I take the device.

Pens. They're remarkable, really – so much better than quills, since they don't need to constantly have their ink replenished. It didn't take me long to learn how to use them when I arrived in this world. But the unease I feel comes not from the pen itself, but from what I might do with it. I'm about to write to Celestia for the first time in three years. In the public hope that Twilight will find a way back to this world. In the private, deeper, conflicted hope that my teacher herself will come. I hesitate, holding the pen above the parchment. Wondering what to say. How to say it. How do I write to someone who I turned my back on, after all the kindness she showed me?

"Been a long time since I've written these words," I murmur. Whatever my thoughts or failings, the Rainbooms are counting on me. The first, and perhaps last time they'll ever do so. So with a breath, I begin writing…

 _Dear Princess Celestia,_

As I write, a white light begins to emit from the ink, sparkles following in its wake. Before long, the message is sent. I've written all that has to be said. With a heavy heart, I close the book. The die is cast, and with a spot, I'm damned.

 _Oh don't be so melodramatic._

I shake her voice away, even if she's right. If anything, I've potentially saved us. "It's done," I say.

"So what now?" Rainbow asks.

I shrug. "Wait, I guess."

"Wait?" she exclaims, her face turning into a frown. "That…" She sighs. "Fine. Waiting. I can do that."

"But for how long?" Fluttershy asks. "If Twilight doesn't come-"

"She'll come," I say quickly. "She'll find a way to get the portal open, and then-"

"Then we send the Dazzlings packing," Pinkie exclaims. "And then we throw a party. No, two parties!"

"Eh, musical showcase first," Rainbow says. "My band's still gonna win this thing."

"Our band," Applejack murmurs.

We agree to give Twilight twenty-four hours. After that…well, if there is an 'after that,' then no amount of parties are going to break the Dazzlings' spell. But we still have classes to attend, and as the end-of-lunch bell rings, and the girls head off to them. History is the last subject of the day for Tuesdays, fittingly enough. One more quirk of the multiverse I suppose.

I keep the book on me, putting it into my bag before heading after them. I don't want to put it back in my locker.

Not yet at least.

* * *

School's out for the day, and I'm in the music room.

Lessons end at 3pm, but the school remains open to students until 6. The library, computer lab, sports field, we're all free to use them on our own time. Or in my case, the music room. The girls have gone home for the day, and we've said our goodbyes – all we can do now is wait for Twilight to show up, and I can understand them not wanting to hang around here any longer than they have to right now. Or, I reflect, around me. I mean, all I'm good for is getting someone competent over from Equestria, and that's not even a guarantee. But I'm not eager to get home right now. Not my home in this world, nor my home in Equestria. Whatever spell the Dazzlings have cast over the students, in after-school hours, I don't have much to worry about. The school's pretty much empty.

So I sit in the music room, idly strumming a guitar. Not my own, of course – all the Rainbooms bring their own instruments to school with the exception of Pinkie, and even she has a set of drums at home to practice on. No, this is part of the school's inventory, one that I'm free to use as long as I don't take it outside this room. And right now, that's fine. I'm not a member of the Rainbooms, and never will be. But the benefit of playing alone is that I don't need to answer to anyone. I don't have to play in my fellows' presence and…well…

 _Show them how pathetic you are?_

I keep strumming the strings, even as that thought eats away at me. It didn't take me that long to learn how to use fingers properly, but playing a guitar is still complicated. Slowly, methodically, I've taught myself on what time is available to me, keeping it hidden from the girls. I don't want to make things even more awkward between us, to hint that I wouldn't mind being part of their band. And, of course, I'm not nearly at their level.

 _You never will be._

I keep plucking away, as if taking feathers off a chicken. I want to scream. I want to sing. I want to let it all out, but I just can't. I want to hide away as much as any of those things, and I know they're mutually exclusive. So, idly, I pluck away, shifting from major to minor and back again, my rhythm becoming syncopated. Ever since the Fall Formal my life's been at a coda, with no chance of an encore. No do-over. No second chances, no second movement or the chance of a symphony, no chance of applause.

 _Pathetic._

But still, I play. Still, my mouth opens and closes like a goldfish. Slowly, I let the words out, of a song that's been growing within me for the past few weeks. I play, and utter…

 _Power…was all that I desired._

 _But all that grew inside me,_

 _Was a darkness I acquired._

 _But when I…I…_

I swallow, and grind to a halt – the song dies, the strings fall silent, my spirit is writhing like a snake, injecting venom into my heart. Self-indulgent trash, the lot of it. Is a _song_ going to make anything better? Is it going to change the way people think about me? If words are like wind, then anything I compose is going to be nothing but a bad odour.

"Stupid," I tell myself, rubbing my eyes with one hand, while resting the guitar on my legs with the other. "Stupid, stupid, stupid."

I want Twilight to get here and sort this out. To get here, keep the portal open, and maybe I can find some other dimension to lie low in. But despite all that, I want to get…something, out. To sing, to scream. I choose the latter, and without restraint, I dive in.

 _I'm just a little bit caught in the middle,_

 _Life is a maze, and love is a riddle._

 _I don't know where to go,_

 _Can't do it alone,_

 _I've tried, but I don't know why._

It's not my song, but it does its job. I don't know what I'm doing, what to do, where to go, I have friends (sort of), but have never felt more alone, and sometimes, I just want to scream. But music…for the first time since school broke up, I smile. The music, it sounds, it _feels_ , good. It drowns out the world. It drowns out _her._ So I end the song, and lean back against the chair. For a moment, I'm at peace. All is right in the world. I-

"Sunset Shimmer?"

I jump out of my seat. Someone's outside the music room, knocking at the door.

"Sunset Shimmer, is that you?"

I put the guitar aside and run over. I know that voice – it's Celestia. She's come! She's received my message, and found a way to cross over into this world! I open the door, smiling, ready to say everything that I've bottled up for three years. How sorry I am. How I should have never rejected her kindness, her friendship, her generosity. How I'm so glad to see her, and-

It's not her.

It's Celestia, but not the Celestia of my world. If she'd arrived in this world, she'd look exactly like Principal Celestia, at least physically. But I can tell it's not her, and not just because of her attire. Over time, you get to know someone. The way they hold themselves, the way they speak, the way they look at you. But most of all, it's her eyes that give it away. Her magneta eyes, who, in the case of my Celestia, looked at me with pride, then anger, then sorrow. The eyes of this Celestia are dead.

"Why are you here?"

Her voice is as dead as her eyes. As cold and unfeeling as the universe.

"I was…just playing." I glance at the room's clock – 6pm.

"School's closing," she says. "Go home."

Her words are blunt, and her voice matches them. For a moment, we stand there, looking at each other. I wonder if there's anything left of her behind those eyes. If she feels anything, and if so, anything other than contempt. I'm the one who wrecked the Fall Formal, who mentally enslaved an entire school, who turned into a demon. Why wouldn't she hate me?

"Sunset?"

 _Just yell at me or something!_

She just stands there, and I…I want to die. There, I said it. I want to die, rather than see my teacher like this ever again. This Celestia, my Celestia, either of them.

"Yeah," I say. "I'll just pack up."

"Good." She closes the door without a second word or glance, and I sigh. Did she hear me playing, or did she just carry out rounds? And why should I care anyway? If she's restored to her old self, that old self is still going to despise me as much as the rest of the school. All I can do now is try and help that old self resurface.

So in silence, I unsling the guitar and put it in its locker. Day's over, sun's set – I walk past the mirror as I head for the light and-

 _You really are pathetic, you know that right?_

I glance at the mirror. Her black, pitiless eyes stare back at me.

 _Playing a guitar like you think you're even good at it. No wonder Celestia came. Even when she's under mind control, your music's just that bad._

"I don't think that's what it is," I murmur.

 _Delusions._

"I'm talking to you," I whisper. "I know what actual delusions are like."

 _Really? Then why don't you admit it?_

I remain silent – admit what?

 _Admit that you know the truth – Celestia isn't coming. Even if she could, she wouldn't. You think she could bear the sight of you? After all the kindness she showed you, after she took you in, after you threw it all away…you think you mean a damn to her anymore?_

I turn away, as tears threaten to tear down the dam that is my eyelids. The truth. She always speaks the truth. I know it, she knows it, everyone knows it.

 _Well, just keep your head down. The Rainbooms are kind enough to let you hang around. Just don't get any ideas that you can play on their level._

That, I agree with. I can't play worth a damn, and I'm a fool for trying. Drowning out her voice, I pick up my bag, shut off the lights, close the door, and run for the school's exit. I want to get away from her. I want Twilight to get here, and make things right again.

Or as right as they can ever possibly be.


	3. Friendship

.

 **My Little Pony: Sunset's Shimmer**

 **Chapter 3: Friendship**

It's Wednesday's lunch break. We're all hanging around the Wondercolt statue, doing whatever we can to pass the time. Rarity's doing Fluttershy's nails, Pinkie and Applejack are playing cards, and Rainbow's tossing her soccer ball from one hand to the other, a blank expression on her face. Blank as in boredom, not blank as in "I'm under a mind control spell from a trio of she-demons." And, yeah, they're on our mind, even if none of us are saying it. It's part of why we're out here, in a bid to escape the toxic atmosphere that's taken hold of the school. But the main reason is that the statue contains the portal from Equestria to this world, and if Twilight manages to find a way through, this is where she'll meet us.

Part of me is glad to be out here. Even if the girls hadn't cast their magic over the school, the atmosphere would still be nearly as toxic towards me. But that's no reason to forestall solving this problem, even if waiting is all we can do. Wait, and find our own ways to amuse ourselves. The girls are doing it, and I am as well. Because I've still got my book on hand, the one that Celestia gave me all those years ago. I look over the message I wrote to her yesterday – not that I've forgotten it, but hey, got to do something to pass the time, right?

 _Dear Princess Celestia,_

 _I'm writing from the world on the other side of the portal. We need help. The school here has come under the effects of dark magic. The perpetrators are three girls who've not only ensnared the school's leaders, but also its students. They've become more aggressive and belligerent, though for some reason, my fellows and I have so far been immune to their effects. The girls' means of control is by singing – some kind of voice-based magic._

 _I write in the hope that this note will reach you in your companion book. I know that the portal between our worlds will be closed for many moons, but if there's any way to send help, it would be much appreciated._

 _Sunset Shimmer._

Short, to the point, and avoiding any explicit requests for aid. I sigh, and glance back at Canterlot High, wondering if I'll ever see its Equestrian counterpart again. If I'll see my former teacher again. Probably not, as was pointed out to me yesterday in the music room, but still…I close my eyes, leaning against the statue, feeling its stone against my head, and a bitter autumn breeze in my hair. I wonder if the message is too formal, but then, I'm not really in the mood to open myself up right now. Not when so many wounds in two worlds remain open already. Where'd I go so wrong, I wonder? How'd I get from being Princess Celestia's prized pupil to the most hated girl in school?

I know the answer. I know when it all changed, and when I changed. I wonder if I even realized it at the time. I flip back to the last entry I made before leaving Equestria, and I smile sadly as I read the text. I remember what happened that day:

 _Celestia,_

 _Well, that's mid-term passed. Did you see the vines spring up from the keep? Yes, it's a growth spell that netted me top marks, thanks for asking. Jumper Berry failed, as usual – no idea why he's even still trying. Well, maybe he'll get better in time, but I'm not looking back. Study is the path to success after all, and I think we both know by now that 'success' has become my middle name._

 _Well, whatever. See you tomorrow – hopefully you'll have something exciting for me. Goodness knows the other students are as boring as ever._

 _Sunset._

I frown, as I read over the text a second time. I remember that day – poor Jumper Berry's growth spell had turned his pot plant carnivorous, while my growth spell turned my plant into a mess of vines that sprung out of every window in the tower I'd taken the exam in. It never even occurred to me to offer him any help or advice, any more than it occurred to me that the other students _weren't_ trying to mooch off me when they offered to take me out to lunch. But the text by itself wouldn't tell someone why I did what I did. Why this was the last entry in the book. An outsider wouldn't know that the very next day, Celestia showed me the mirror – when what was festering within me for years began to surface.

Maybe I'm inherently a terrible person, I ponder. Maybe I wouldn't have needed that mirror to show me my true self. But…I bite my lip and flip to the start of the book. Was I always that bad? I look at the first entry I made, when Celestia first took me under her wing as her personal student. The day I received the book as a gift:

 _Dear Princess Celestia,_

 _So…I write in this book, and it'll appear in the one you keep in your library, right? Please write back to let me know that it worked I mean, if I'm going to be a good student, I want to at least be able to know how to use a book after all. Certainly read a lot of them, but writing to you like this…well, that's a bit new to me._

 _Listen, I know that yesterday I didn't say much when you took me in as your student – tongue-tied, I guess, and did I thank you for this book? I don't know – I mean, you're the ruler of Equestria, and you've taken_ _me_ _in? I…even writing this is hard, but I want to say…thank you. Thank you a thousand times. Getting into the School for Gifted Unicorns was hard enough, but this is a gift I can scarcely explain how much it means to me. Well, not yet – who knows, maybe my writing will get better along with my magic. But ink lasts forever, so as I write this here and now, I promise that I won't disappoint you. You've given me the greatest gift, the greatest opportunity a pony could ever receive. And I promise I won't ever forget that. I promise that I'll make you proud._

 _Your faithful student,_

 _Sunset Shimmer._

I smile, even as I recall how the promise on the first page has long been broken. I remember that day as clearly as the day that Celestia showed me the mirror. The smile begins to fade though, as I read through all the other entries I made, how over the years, the person writing them begins to change. The entries become shorter, more curt. The writer more arrogant. At some point, I stop being her "faithful student." At some point, I cease to address Celestia by her honorific. At some point, I just become "Sunset." One point after another, all in a path that takes me to the unrecorded moment. The dirty secret the book will never tell. The secret that I'll never forget.

I close the book – that was an interesting read. Or "enlightening," or "heart-wrenching," or any number of terms to describe the trail of tears that led to this moment. A moment that's broken by a sigh from Rainbow, and a comment that "I'm starting to think that she's not coming."

Celestia? No, of course not, she means Twilight. I've been so wrapped up in my memories that I'd temporarily forgotten about the here and now. But, I think, she may have a point. It's been twenty-four hours, and if Twilight hasn't arrived yet…we…wait…is that a portal forming in the statue?

Yes, it is, and we all see it, as the solid marble becomes akin to a swirling liquid. There's a flash of light, and something comes flying out across the yard. Well, not something, some _one_. And by flying, I mean being hurtled, hitting the ground hard. And by someone, I mean-

"Twilight!" we all exclaim.

I run over to help her – much to my surprise, I'm glad to see her. She's not Celestia, and we didn't part on the best of terms last time, what with the whole "demon who tried to conquer Equestria, only to be thwarted by a magic rainbow" thing. But still…

 _Is it friendship you want? Or forgiveness?_

I ignore her voice, and keep my eyes on Twilight. I see her rub her head while kneeling on the ground, and hear her let out a groggy "I'm back." She gives the Rainbooms a smile. It fades, however, as she looks up at me, and the hand I'm offering her. She frowns, and looks away, clearly not sure whether she can trust me. But still, I keep the hand out there. Slowly, cautiously, she takes it, and I help her up. I smile, and for a moment, she returns it. Heck, she's even brought Spike with her, and he's in good cheer as well, given our…interesting history together. Maybe we can sort this out.

"Maybe" is the key word though, as the rest of the girls come round and hug their friend. _Their_ friend, I remind myself. I don't know if I can call Twilight a friend. I'd like to, but our history isn't exactly rosy. But Twilight and the Rainbooms? They're friends, no questions asked. I envy her for that.

"It's great to see you all," Twilight says, as the hub-bub dies down. "But I've got some bad news about those new girls."

I wonder if "all" includes me?

Guess I'll find out soon enough.

* * *

When in doubt, go to Sweet Shoppe.

That's what Pinkie says. Well, not so much says, but "said." And not so much "said," but…y'know what? I've got no idea how to describe what Pinkie does half the time. But I can describe the Sweet Shoppe as a small café that Canterlot students frequently visit after school, and it's here that we all find ourselves around a table as Twilight gives us the rundown on Adagio and her cronies. With milkshakes, or in Rarity's case, tea. Because milkshakes can solve anything, according to Pinkie. Another one of those life lessons I guess.

And, as I sip my own, I've got to admit, she's kind of right. I mean, it hasn't solved anything per se, but just being here with the Rainbooms, with Twilight, with my friends, if I can call them that (and I hope I can), it feels…nice. Normal. For the first time in a long time, I'm completely at ease. It's odd how Twilight's arrival in a time of crisis has allowed me to experience that feeling, how _her_ voice is nowhere to be heard, but whatever the reason, I can sip at my milkshake, and not have a care in the world.

"So," Twilight begins, "based on what Sunset told me, I think those three girls are the sirens."

"Not the sirens!" Pinkie exclaims, a look of horror on her face. One that slowly fades, followed by the words "um, what's a siren?"

Twilight gives the bullet points, but it's for their benefit more than mine. Or maybe it's for my benefit as well, but regardless, I know all about the sirens. They were a trio of creatures that plagued Equestria in ages past, who had the power to charm ponies with their magical voices. But in order to maintain their power, they had to feed off the negativity and distrust of others. The more negative energy they consumed, the stronger their voices became. If not for Star Swirl the Bearded banishing them from the world, they might have divided and conquered all of Equestria. Rumour was that he banished them to a world where he believed their magic would be lost. But, as Twilight surmises, apparently that wasn't the case.

I can't disagree with any of her conclusions, and I feel like kicking myself for not reaching them myself. I mean, it all makes sense – a trio of girls with magical voices that turn people into arseholes, it fits perfectly. Well, almost – there's the question of why the sirens only just surfaced now, but aside from that, I can't fault the assessment. Some student I turned out to be. I…I shake my head and take a sip of my milkshake, its creamy vanilla pouring down my throat and into my heart. Much better, even as the Rainbooms sit there in silence, taking in Twilight's words.

"Oh I do hate that you had to return at a time of crisis," Rarity says, breaking said silence. "We have so much catching up to do."

And planning, I think. But I let them have this.

"For starters, a certain blue-haired guitar player was just askin' about you," Applejack adds.

"Flash Sentry was asking about me?!" Twilight exclaims, blushing, and doing something with her hair before returning her focus to her milkshake. "Isn't that nice?"

I smirk, and I'm not the only one to do so. I only saw Flash a day ago, and, yeah, sooner or later I'm going to have to deal with the consequences of a relationship gone south, mind control, and the whole "boyfriend only for popularity" thing. Still, that can wait. If Twilight and Flash have a thing for each other…well, good for them.

I mean it. I think. I guess there's envy somewhere inside me, but, well, yeah. Feelings are complicated. Twilight's a case in point, as she really seems to like her milkshake in a bid to avoid the subject.

"Perhaps you would give us just the slightest bit of gossip from your world?" Rarity asks, coming to her rescue.

Spike, who's been held by Fluttershy up until now, chimes in. "She's got an official title now," he says. He imitates playing a horn, ignoring that dogs aren't meant to play horns, let alone speak, in this world. "The Princess of Friendship!"

"Wow," I say, "that's really impressive." I rub my arm awkwardly. "Guess you really were Princess Celestia's prized pupil."

"She's even got her own castle," Spike adds.

"A castle?!" Rarity exclaims, grabbing Twilight and accidently spilling her milkshake onto her shirt. "You have your own castle?!" She notices her "boo boo." "Eh, how lovely," she says, and begins to clean it with a napkin.

I go to sip at my own milkshake, but there's nothing left in the glass. Nothing to placate the feeling of unease within me. A feeling that…okay, fine, let's call it what it is – envy. Twilight is the Princess of Friendship, and unlike this world, princess is a title that you have to earn. A title that few have ever received. A title that I once craved and…I swallow, remembering what happened with Celestia. Of the final act that drove us apart. Twilight got what I wanted, received what I didn't have the patience or wisdom to see was a title earned, not given. So yes, I am glad for her, I tell myself. And yet, that feeling of unease remains. Am I selfish, I ask myself? Or just mortal?

 _Both._

I ignore her voice as the conversation moves on. "So," Twilight asks. "What's new here? I mean, besides your school becoming the target of dangerous magical creatures from Equestria?"

Rainbow exchanges a worried look with the girls – they all give her a nod. "Yeah," she says. So that isn't exactly the only strange thing that's happened since you left." She draws out her phone and plays a video recording of her playing guitar and "ponying up" – tail, wings, the lot of it. Twilight stares at the recording, perplexed.

"Pretty sweet huh? Happens to all of us when we play."

I can tell by the look on Twilight's face that she doesn't consider this "pretty sweet," but that she also sees this as a mystery to be solved. She has my respect there – I've seen it as a mystery to be solved for months, only with the caveat that it wasn't my place to question it, considering the events of the Fall Formal. But with Twilight here, maybe it _can_ be solved. Even if I'm not the one finding the answers, I could still receive them.

"Hmm," Twilight says. "My crown was returned to Equestria, but some of its magic must have remained here at Canterlot High."

That makes sense, I think. Probably should have thought of that myself.

"But now that we're all back together," she continues, "we can use that magic on the sirens. Just like when we were able to use it on Sunset Shimmer when she turned into that horrifyingly awful winged monster." She pauses, and looks at me awkwardly. "No offence."

"Heh, none taken," I say. "I'm used to it."

It's not a lie, but just because I'm used to it, it doesn't mean I like it. I feel something squirming within me, and this time, it isn't envy. It's simple unease. The sense of still being apart. Even here, at the Sweet Shoppe, drinking milkshakes and discussing castles, I'm still an outsider. The observer. The one who…who…

 _The one who isn't a friend._

I try to ignore her, but I can't help but feel that she's right. Twilight and the girls are friends, not doubt about it. But what can I call myself?

"Sooner we do this, the better," Twilight says. "Any idea where the Dazzlings might be?"

Pinkie makes a slurping sound as she drinks her milkshake, finishing it all in one go. She then says, "there's a big party tonight at the gym for all the bands who signed up to be in the showcase. That would include the Dazzlings."

Twilight smiles, and cleans some chocolate off Pinkie's cheek. "Looks like we've got a party to crash."

Pinkie smiles, and so do I. Soon, this will all be over. The spell will be lifted, the Dazzlings put in their place, and things will go back to normal. And-

Normal. I sigh. "Normal" isn't a good thing for me these days.

* * *

The fruit punch tastes terrible.

Yes, I know that punch is the least of our worries, but by Star Swirl's beard, it tastes awful. Whoever made it used way too much grape juice. In more ideal circumstances, I'd be able to blame it for the hostile atmosphere within the gym. But, these aren't ideal circumstances, no matter how many cookies or other snacks are available at the buffet. The Rainbooms, Twilight, and I are in one corner, and every one of the other bands is in their own clique. Staring, whispering, shooting each other dirty stares. It's competition taken to the extreme, one of contempt and bubbling aggression. It's everything that this school isn't meant to be. And, for their dark reasons, everything the Dazzlings want.

Not that it'll last, I tell myself. All we have to do is wait for the Dazzlings to show up. Then Twilight and her friends will work their magic, and however iffy "normal" might be for me, I'll be able to get some catharsis in seeing their plans fall apart. Is that selfish? Maybe. But the sooner it's done, the sooner the school returns to normal, and the sooner I can find some water to wash the taste of punch out of my mouth.

Thankfully, we don't have to wait long. It's Rainbow who sees them – Adagio, Aria, and Sonata, at the entrance to the gym, looking around as if they own the place. They walk towards the centre of the room, sauntering between the students with an arrogant swagger. The seven of us move to intercept them, though soon only six – no-one says anything when I stay in place, as Twilight and the girls keep on moving forward. They have the magic of friendship, the same magic that was used to defeat me months ago. There's nothing I can do right now but watch.

 _Probably mess it up anyway._

 _Oh be quiet._

 _Is the fruit punch that bad?_

Yes, it is, I reflect, but no matter. I try to remain inconspicuous as the girls move in for the kill – not that I need to try, as all the bands in the gym are so busy hurling snide remarks at each other that they don't even notice I'm here. It's pleasing, in a sort of twisted way. But not nearly as twisted as the sirens. I can see them talking, and I try to pick up their conversation through the din:

"This is just the kick-off party girls," Adagio says to her cronies. "Imagine what a tizzy they'll be in by the time the Battle of the Bands starts."

"There isn't going to be a Battle of the Bands!" Twilight shouts. "We're going to make sure of it!"

The room falls silent, and I smirk – it's not pleasant, being blasted by a rainbow, even if it transforms you back into your human self from a demon. But to see it used on the Dazzlings is a sight I'm salivating for. So I continue to smile as the girls join hands. As Twilight says, "alright girls, let's do this. Friendship is magic!"

Hand in hand, eyes closed, the elements of harmony joined together. Silence continues to fill the gym. Silence, silence, and more silence. And no rainbows. Or magic. Or anything. My smile fades, and I get a sense of déjà vu from yesterday, when the whole gym glared at me. Seeing the gym stare at the girls…it isn't any less unpleasant.

 _Um, Twilight? Rainbows? Magic? Wings? Anything?_

More silence. Someone coughs, echoing throughout the gym.

 _It's the punch, isn't it?_

No, it really isn't. But I have no idea why it isn't working. And from the looks of things, neither does Twilight.

"Talk about throwing down the gauntlet!" Adagio exclaims, speaking in a smug, self-satisfied tone that I know all too well from experience. "This group is obviously serious about winning. A little cocky though, aren't they? Claiming there won't really be a battle. Seems they think they've already got this thing all locked up."

"Not if the Great and Powerful Trrrrrixie has anything to do with it!" Trixie exclaims.

"Whatever Trixie," Flash snaps back. "We're the best band at CHS!"

"No, the Crusaders are gonna win!" Applebloom declares.

The entire gym erupts in furore. Before, the tension was below the surface. Now, it's all out in the open. Everyone's arguing, making declarations of their band being the best, and throwing out derogatory remarks about their competitors in the process. Twilight and the Rainbooms remain there in the centre, an island of sanity in a sea of madness. And me, the atoll, separate from the island, yet still linked. I feel for them, but that's not what truly catches my attention. Rather, it's the green mist that spreads across the room. The same mist that was in the cafeteria yesterday, the mist that no-one apart from the Rainbooms and I can see. I watch as it's drawn into the pendants of the Dazzlings. How they smile, while they drink in the haze. Intoxicated. Adagio most of all

I hate her. I hate seeing her do this to the school. I hate how she reminds me of myself. I hate her so much that I feel my fists clench – hands aren't as strong as hooves, but I've learnt how to throw a punch over the years, and not the kind I was drinking five minutes ago. I take a step toward them, but then pause. What good would it do, I ask? And as I see Twilight gesture to the girls, I can see that as far as she's concerned, now's the time for flight, not fight. So silently, they head for the gym door, weaving their way in and out through the chaos that's enveloped the gym. Silently, I join them, but not without a final glance at Adagio and her fellows. Grinning at us, as if she's already won. As if she's succeeded where I failed.

 _This isn't over._

* * *

It's sunset, as we sit on the steps outside the entrance to Canterlot High. Is that irony, I wonder? Sunset…Sunset Shimmer…setting sun? I dunno. Irony's not really on my mind though. It's more occupied with what just happened in the gym, and just as importantly, what _didn't_ happen. There's a bitter taste in my mouth, and no, it's not from the punch. The only thing we were able to salvage is the cookies Pinkie snuck out with her. But while chocolate contains serotonin, a type of chemical that can act as an anti-depressant, it isn't doing me much good now. Or any of us, by the looks of it.

 _Maybe that's the key,_ I think to myself glumly. _Eat chocolate, get happy, get everything back to normal…_

 _And get fat._

I ignore her voice, and finish off the cookie. I watch as Twilight paces around in front of us.

"It doesn't make any sense," she says. "I should have been able to create the spark that would help us break their spell. That's how it worked before."

I can't disagree with that – it _should_ have worked, and I can't think of any good reason why it didn't. Except…

"But to defeat me, you drew magic from the crown I was wearing," I say, letting out the first thought that entered my head. "The sirens' magic comes from their music. So maybe you have to use the same kind of magic to defeat them."

Twilight stops pacing and looks at me, perplexed. "Or, maybe not," I say, wishing I hadn't spoken. It's a silly idea - I mean, if Twilight couldn't crack it, what makes me think that I could do any better?

"No," Twilight says. "I think you're onto something."

"Really?" I ask brightly.

Twilight looks at all of us. "It's when you play music that you transform now, right? When the magic inside you comes out?"

"Yep," says Applejack. "Ears. Tails. The whole shebang."

"So maybe the way to use that magic to defeat the sirens is by playing a musical counter-spell," Twilight says.

"You mean like a song?" Fluttershy asks, clearly warming to the idea.

Twilight nods. "And in order to free everyone who's been exposed to the sirens' spell, we'll need them all to hear it."

That's a snag, but it doesn't take long for Rarity to find the solution – "the band competition," she exclaims. "That's the next time we can be certain everyone will be in the same place at the same time."

"Guess the Rainbooms are the band to beat," Applejack says.

The girls are in good spirits. So's Spike for that matter, and for what it's worth, myself as well. Maybe we can win against the sirens. Beat them in magic, and in music as well. I smile, and-

"And I believe _you_ , Twilight, just became the Rainbooms' newest member," Rarity says.

…and the smile fades. The girls cheer, and rush towards Twilight Sparkle. Princess of Friendship, embodiment of the element of magic, saviour of Equestria and this world. Twilight Sparkle, the newest member of the Rainbooms. Twilight Sparkle, who…who…

…who's the logical choice, I tell myself, even as I look at the ground, struggling to keep my throat steady, and my eyes clear. I mean, what, did the fact that there's a battle of the bands suddenly mean I'd be made a band member? I'm a terrible singer, and an even worse guitar player – if I wasn't going to perform in a musical showcase, what in this world or any other could make me think that I'd perform in a competition with the fate of Canterlot High at stake? I get up and walk over – Twilight looks…off, I notice. No idea why – she's the perfect candidate for the band, what could be bothering her?

"So," Pinkie says, "what do you wanna play? Triangle? Sousaphone? Theremin?"

 _What the heck is a theremin?_

Twilight laughs, and there's an awkwardness in it that makes me raise an eyebrow, but only for a moment. "It might take a little too long to learn how to play something with these," she says, wiggling her fingers. "I'll just sing."

 _No, seriously, what's a theremin?_

"Like, as in, lead singer?" Rainbow asks. "Cuz that's usually my gig. This being my band and all."

"It's _our_ band," Applejack says. "And of course, as lead singer. She's the one with the magical know-how to help us pull this thing off."

 _Isn't anyone going to tell me what a theremin is?_

Guess not. But I keep asking myself what a theremin is, because it's a far better distraction from the storm of emotions brewing within me. Emotions of joy, that we can beat the sirens, dismay, that I can't do anything to help, and unease. Unease from Twilight's muted reaction, unease from Rainbow's continued insistence that this is her band, and…well, a lot of other things.

"Okay, yeah, that's cool," Rainbow says, her forced voice adding to my unease even further. "I'll just use this as a chance to hone my already insanely good guitar skills."

Applejack rolls her eyes. I open my mouth, but my words die in my throat. I want to say that yes, Rainbow is an excellent guitar player, and that yes, the band was her idea. But I've been watching the other girls play, and their talents are nothing to sneer at. I want to say that we should clear the air about that before entering a music competition, sirens or no sirens.

But I don't. It's not my place to - there's no "we" as far as the band goes, and besides, Twilight comes to the rescue anyway.

"It's only temporary," she says. "And we don't have to win the Battle of the Bands. We just have to perform during the first round of the competition."

"So let's get to learning that musical counter-spell," Rainbow says, apparently back on board as a team player.

"Well, that's just it," Twilight murmurs. "I don't know any."

With a groan, the Rainbooms' team spirit plummets. But Twilight quickly says, "but I'm sure I could learn how to write one?"

 _Heh, hope your handwriting's gotten better._

Is that mean? Well, maybe, and I don't say it out loud. But I like this idea more and more, if only because it means the Dazzlings will be defeated. And Twilight's looking a bit more upbeat, which is a good sign.

"Totally," Spike chimes in. "Twilight can write a spell like it's nobody's business. That's pretty much how she got to become a princess in Equestria."

"Technically, I helped finish a spell. And there was a little more to it than that, Spike."

"Yeah, whatever."

"But anyway, I've got this," Twilight says. She picks up Spike, and starts walking back towards the school.

"Where you going?" Applejack asks.

Twilight looks back at us. "Last time we were here, Spike and I slept in the library."

"Are you crazy?" Pinkie exclaims, running up and hugging her. "We're besties now." She looks out at the Rainbooms. "Slumber party at my house!"

The girls erupt in cheering. I almost join them, but fall short. They begin heading out towards the carpark, but I stay in place. I'm not a member of the Rainbooms, and I'm not sure if I can call them friends. I mean, I'd like to, but only friends go to slumber parties (I think), and I turned down slumber parties in Equestria, and it's gratifying to know that slumber parties are a thing in this world, and-

"Sunset, are you coming?"

I blink, and see the girls staring at me. "Huh?"

"Come on," Pinkie says. "Slumber party? Hello?"

"Huh? But I…I mean…" I smile. "Sure."

Is this real? Am I invited? I mean, don't look a gift horse in the mouth (which is a weird saying, I mean, if you consider the…). I shake it off. Slumber party. Friends. Now. I run forward, and stop short. I smile, embarrassed.

"Can you guys wait up a bit?" I ask. "I gotta pee."

* * *

Damn fruit punch. Not only did it taste terrible, but it's the reason I've made a detour to the girls' bathrooms before heading to Pinkie's house. My bladder's shrunk to the size of a walnut. But while that fruit punch enters the sewers where it belongs, my mind is on other things.

 _A slumber party. I'm going to a slumber party!_

I mean, that's a thing, isn't it? Something that girls do? Pretty sure it's something that ponies do as well, though I don't ever recall being asked to attend one, and if I did, I'd have said no. But, I mean – slumber party. Friends get together, fun and games, music, pizza, more fun and games, staying up late. Granted, I've plenty of experience in staying up late, but, well…slumber party!

And yes, I tell myself, it's silly. The sirens have the school in their thrall, and we're having a slumber party. But right now, I don't care. Being invited to any of the Rainbooms' houses would have never happened months ago. Probably not even a week ago, since I've been a fifth wheel up to this point. But now, I think to myself as I exit the cubicle, maybe that's changed. Pinkie reached out for me specifically. No-one in the Rainbooms objected. It's like…like I can possibly start calling them friends.

 _Can you really?_

I keep my head down, focusing on the water circling the drain.

 _Back in the bathroom again? Certainly got a habit there._

I turn the tap off.

 _Be serious, can you really call them your friends? Do you think you're really in a state where you can claim actual friendship?_

Like before, I meet her gaze. This time however, it's in defiance.

 _Friendship isn't magic, you silly girl. It's not a science you can dissect. You can't quantify any of this. You can't be sure of anything!_

"I can try," I murmur.

 _Try, and fail. You're not even in the band yet._

"Maybe." I walk over to the paper towels, pulling some out with far more force than is needed. "But you won't be there to see it."

She doesn't say anything. So I dry my hands, and wash myself clean of her presence as best I'm able. I throw them in the bin and head for the door, eager to get to my friends as soon as possible.

 _I'm always with you,_ she whispers. _I always will be._

I hurry out. I don't run, but I move as quickly as possible otherwise. And despite myself, I can't help but smile.

Slumber party time.


	4. Laughter

.

 **My Little Pony: Sunset's Shimmer**

 **Chapter 4: Laughter**

"Hello," says Maud Pie as she greets us at the door. "You must be my sister's friends who are here for the slumber party."

Was it the sleeping bags that gave it away? Please tell me it was the sleeping bags. We all have them except for Twilight and myself. Pinkie told us she had that covered, but-

"You are Twilight," says Maud as she looks at the Equestrian princess. "Pinkie has told me that you are not from around here, and that you need a sleeping bag."

"Um, yeah," says Twilight, rubbing her neck. "If that's not any trouble."

"It shall be no trouble," Maud says, before turning to me. "And you, Sunset, the one who turned into a winged demon and mind controlled my sister's school, in a bid to raise an army of slaves…"

"Yep," I say, forcing a smile. "That's me. Sunset. Former mind controller." I rub one foot against the other. "'Fraid have a sleeping bag either."

"You shall have one," Maud says.

"Thanks."

"No thanks are necessary. She gestures to all of us. "You may come in now."

Pinkie leads the charge. We're her dear friends, and aren't going to perish bravely in the charge, but…am I quoting Shakespeare? Seriously, did I just quote Shakespeare? I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that, but…

Okay, context time. Pinkie told us on the way to her house that her parents, and other two sisters are out west visiting her grandma. Maud, who's in college doing a degree in mineralogy, is the one who was left to watch over the house and her younger, far more energetic sister. Sister in name only, I can't help but think to myself, because the two are nothing alike. Maud is grey. Her skin is grey, her hair is grey, her eyes are grey…ish… (okay, they're actually turquoise), and her clothes are grey. Her speech is grey as well. And Pinkie is, well, Pinkie. But, I think to myself, it's still awfully nice of her to allow us all to stay for the night. I can imagine what university is like (I mean, I _did_ study under Celestia), and the need for quiet-time is a must, even if I've since learned that friendship is a must as well. So, as we file into the kitchen, I can only hope that we don't distract her too much. We-

"Here are your sleeping bags." Maud hands one each to Twilight and me. "What are your sleeping arrangements?"

"Oh, we're crashing in my room," Pinkie says, placing herself between Twilight and myself. "We're besties now."

Maud blinks. "I see," she says. "I did not think you would want to be besties with someone who bullied you for three years and turned into a terrible monster." She shifts her gaze towards me. "No offence."

"None taken," I say, still forcing a smile.

"Good." Maud reaches into her pocket and brings out two things. The first is a wad of notes – this world's version of bits. "Here. You may use this to pay for pizza."

"Aw, thanks sis!" Pinkie says, hugging her. "You're the best!"

"Are you sure, darling?" Rarity asks. "I'd be happy to cover the cost."

"No. You are my sister's friends. I shall cover your expenses."

The girls are all grateful, but I'm not paying attention. Instead, I'm looking at the second thing she took out of her pocket. A small, smooth stone that's grey…and rocky…and drawing me in with its mysterious-

"This is Boulder."

I glance up at Maud. "Huh?"

"This is Boulder," she repeats, holding the stone up in front of my nose, holding it in an open palm as if holding a mouse. "Boulder is mine," she says, and for a moment, there's a flash of light in those eyes of hers. "Stay away from Boulder."

"Aw, come on sis, Sunset is a friend," Pinkie says. "You can trust her."

Maud pockets "Boulder" and gives her sister a glance. "I shall hold you to that. But for now, I must study." She heads for the stairs. "Save some pizza for Boulder."

We stand there in awkward silence, broken only by a small cough from Fluttershy. "She seems, um, nice."

"Nice?" Rainbow exclaims. "She's an absolutely in…insatiable person."

"Insatiable?" Applejack asks.

"Yeah," she says, glancing at Pinkie Pie. "As in, um, she wants pizza for her…pet. Must be hungry." She rubs her stomach. "Hey, did I say hungry? I meant starving. I mean…um…"

Silence returns, before we all burst out laughing. And two thoughts run through my mind. One, the laughter. I like it. I like how I feel at ease. How despite Maud's thoughts, I can join in with my friends. How for a moment, all's right in the world.

The second thought is that maybe in her own way, Maud Pie isn't too different from her sister after all.

* * *

 _Theremin – an electronic musical instrument controlled without physical contact with the performer. Consists of two metal antennas that sense the relative position of the performer's hands, and control oscillators for frequency with one hand, and amplitude._

So, I think to myself as I hand Rarity's phone back to her, I finally know what a theremin is. And yes, I could have asked Pinkie about it, but hey, I like a challenge. Not that the Internet is exactly 'challenging' in regards to finding out information – true, this world still uses books, but unlike Equestria, they're usually the second point of call for info. But hey, I'm finding out the info for myself. That's something at least.

Of course, it's only a small something. Larger "somethings" exist to be dealt with (i.e. the sirens), but the only "something" I'm focused on right now is this slumber party. First one I've been to in my life, and…yeah, I'm enjoying it. We all are. Applejack and Rainbow are playing _Mane-iac II_. Fluttershy is playing with Spike, Rarity's scrolling through her texts, and Pinkie is giving her third status update of the evening on MyStable dot com ("okie-dokie-lokie" – just like it was the last two times). Twilight is sitting on Pinkie's bed, working on the counter-spell, scribbling away in a notebook Fluttershy leant her. I can only hope she's getting some fun out of it, but knowing Twilight, it'll be hammered out in no time.

Are we doing our own things, independent of one another? Yeah, kind of. But for the first time in three years, I'm completely at ease. I'm with people I can call friends. People who I believe consider me to be a friend. Like Twilight, I'm even wearing peejays that Pinkie leant to me. If slumber party 101 was a course, I think it's fair to say I've aced it. Laughter echoes throughout the room, and I drink it in, intoxicated. Never wanting it to end. Never wanting to let it go. As Fluttershy and I join Rarity for a selfie, I can only ask, "why in Equestria did I think being a monster and turning into a she-demon would be more fun than this?" Ignorance, I suppose. Ignorance and arrogance, but now, those things are behind me. And best of all, her voice is gone. She's left me. Hopefully for good.

So the party continues. Fluttershy and I giggle as Rarity discovers that Spike snuck his way into her selfie. Rainbow laughs after shutting off the game she and Applejack were playing, giving the contrary opinion that no, Applejack wasn't about to beat her. She keeps laughing as she keeps Applejack's controller out of reach. Pinkie laughs in response to something posted on MyStable. When Rarity sits on top of the bed next to Twilight, and says, "I think I speak for all of us when I say I don't know what we would have done if you hadn't come back to help us," we don't laugh, but say "uh-huh." We mean it. _I_ , mean it. If not for Twilight, I never would have had this second chance. If not for Twilight, I wouldn't be here right now. Course I can kind of thank the sirens for that as well, but hey, don't over-analyse things. It's a slumber party. Feel, don't think.

The doorbell rings. "Pizza's here!" Pinkie exclaims, and we all rush down the stairs, laughing all the way. Well, all but Twilight, who comes down the stairs about a minute later, after Pinkie ran back upstairs to get her. She looks happy, I notice, but not in the same way as the rest of us. Like she's…forcing it, I think. For a moment, I wonder if I should ask her if anything's wrong, even though I know that there can't be. Twilight's here. Apart from the sirens, all's right in the world, and that's a problem that'll be solved by tomorrow once the counter-spell is played. And, as we tuck into the pizza and the conversation shifts to the time when Rainbow accidentally kicked a soccer ball into Miss Cheerilee, the laugher begins again. Even Twilight joins in. And I do myself, wholeheartedly. We laugh, we cheer, we whoop. And I have only one thing on my mind.

Sweet Celestia, this pizza tastes good.

* * *

Come to me, Sunset.

 _I hear her voice. In the splinter of my mind's eye, I see her._

We have unfinished business.

 _What part of my mind that sleep has yet to take resists her call._

You can't escape me.

 _Resists, but only for so long._

You can't ignore me!

 _So it does what it can to escape her._

 _I wake up._

* * *

Moonlight streams through the window. I can see all my friends sound asleep, squashed together in Pinkie's room. All of them snoring, some louder than others. My body urges me to stay put within my sleeping bag, and do what I can to return to sleep's embrace. My eyes take note that the clock on the wall says that it's 1:02am, reinforcing the idea that sleep is indeed what I should return to. I close my eyes, and try to settle down.

But I can't sleep. I toss and turn, I try counting fillies, but it's no good. My body needs sleep, but my mind won't let it. I think of what tomorrow (or today, I guess) will bring – the musical showcase. The counter-spell. The sirens. How we'll do in the competition. I-

 _I'm hungry._

I open my eyes and sit up – yes, I'm hungry. I've no idea how I'm hungry, considering the copious amount of pizza I ate less than five hours ago, but, whatever, I'm hungry. Hungry enough to make me get to my feet, to jolt my mind enough to say that maybe I'm not hungry, and that perhaps it's just a craving. But, whatever, I'm up. May as well indulge that craving and get out of bed.

So I walk out the door and down the stairs, my eyes adjusting to the gloom, and my feet brushing against the carpet, trying my best not to wake everyone up. To my surprise, I can see light illuminating the kitchen as well. Most of the room is in darkness, but a single bulb shines from its roof. So as I walk to its doorway, I see Twilight sitting at the kitchen table, looking over the notebook. I hear her mutter something as she rests her head on her palms, but can't make it out.

"Hey Twilight," I say, walking into the room. "You're up late."

For a moment, I'm afraid that Twilight will point out the irony of me also being up late, but she doesn't. She instead shifts the notebook to one side, putting an arm over its pages – no doubt she's finished her work.

"Just going over the counter-spell," she says. "We only get one shot at this. We have to be perfect."

"We really are lucky you're here," I say, as I open the fridge.

"That's what everyone keeps telling me," she murmurs.

I barely hear her, as I stare into the contents of Pinkie's fridge. "Who could possibly need this much whipped cream?" I ask, as I stare at one tube after another of the substance. Like a rack of shells waiting to be fired into my stomach.

Well, any chance of my midnight snack being healthy just went out the window, I reflect. Looking at my range of selection, I find that I'm no longer hungry. I wonder what Maude would think of me if she saw me stealing food in the middle of the night. Whether her monotone would turn into something more, shattering what little trust I've been able to build with her. Nonetheless, I squirt some cream onto my thumb and sigh, as I look at Twilight.

"Must be nice to have everyone always looking to you for answers to their problems," I say morosely. "Instead of waiting for you to cause a problem."

"Just because everyone expects something from you doesn't mean it's guaranteed to happen," Twilight says.

"Well, that doesn't stop them from expecting it."

"Which only makes things harder," Twilight continues, "because the last thing you want to do is…"

She trails off, and our eyes meet. In sync, we say, "let everybody down."

I smile, and for the first time in the last minute or so, so does Twilight. Maybe even the first time this evening. I slurp up the whipped cream, thinking that, maybe she understands. I mean, obviously Twilight has the counter-spell down, but maybe, after all we went through, I can call Twilight a friend as surely as the Rainbooms. That if Twilight can forgive me for everything maybe other people can as well. I hold onto that thought as I close the fridge and-

"Waaah!" I scream, seeing Maud standing there in the gloom. Staring blankly, as if sleepwalking, or perhaps the living dead. Turquoise eyes, piercing through the gloom, piercing my body and soul. As if to ask what the heck I'm doing in her fridge. As if on the cusp of casting me out into the night.

But she doesn't do that. Instead, she picks out a box of crackers from the cupboard and pours a few onto a small rock she's got in her hand.

"Boulder was hungry," she says.

I back away as I watch her continue to pour the crackers out of the box, before she walks off with the crackers in hand, 'feeding' her rock as she does so, leaving a trail of debris in her wake. "I still can't get over the fact that she's related to Pinkie Pie," I whisper to Twilight.

"You and me both," she whispers back.

We smile, but I don't hold mine, as my mouth opens in a yawn. "Better get some sleep," I say, as I start heading out of the kitchen. "Good luck with the counter-spell. Not that you'll need it. This must be nothing compared with the stuff you're expected to deal with as a princess in Equestria."

I reach the kitchen door, and-

"Sunset Shimmer?"

I halt in the doorway, and look at Twilight. Her mouth moves, as if trying to say one thing, but instead uttering something different. Specifically, "never mind. It's not important."

I can tell that something's on my friend's mind. Something that's clearly bothering her. But as a friend, is it best to give her the faith to sort it out, to trust her that it really isn't important? Or should I push, and get to the heart of things?

I force a smile, and head up the stairs. It's for this reason that Twilight is the Princess of Friendship, not me, I tell myself. She's a master magic user, an alicorn in her own world. Our ace in the hole against the sirens.

Of course she's got this down.

* * *

Man _, I think to myself,_ I really shouldn't have eaten that whipped cream.

 _I'm dreaming lucidly – aware that I'm dreaming, in control of my own sense of self, but unable to awake from the dream. That's what comes from eating whipped cream at one o'clock in the morning. For a moment, all I'm aware of is my own mind and body._

" _Hello Sunset."_

 _I begin to sweat. My heart races, my hair stands on end. Not her, I think to myself. Anyone but her._

" _You woke up last time," she says. "But this time, you're not going anywhere. This time, you're mine."_

 _I want to wake up. I don't care what time it is in the real world, I want out. I want to be free from this prison. I try to scream, but I have no mouth. I try to flee, but there is nowhere to run to. All I can do is remain in place. To watch her take form before me, accumulating from the darkest pits of my mind. The one that plagues me in my waking hours, and holds dominion over my sleep._

" _Go away," I whisper._

 _But it's for naught. She takes form, and her black, pitiless eyes meet mine. I see her, as surely as she sees me. I see myself, the one that has always looked back at me from the mirror. I see what I became two months ago. I see my fears and shame made manifest, in a form of giant wings, claws, fangs, and hair that flows like fire._

 _I see the demon._

" _You aren't real," I say._

" _I'm real enough," she says, her tail wagging, her claws like daggers. "I was made real, thanks to you."_

" _And now I've moved on."_

" _Moved on?" She laughs, and it echoes in every corner of my mind. "Oh yes, most certainly. You've 'moved on,' while the entire school despises you. You've 'moved on,' when your mind still summons me. You've 'moved on,' when your mind has brought you here."_

" _Here?" I look around. "I don't see anything."_

" _Look harder," says the demon._

 _I don't, but I see it anyway. I see a lavishly furnished corridor. I see stained glass windows, all of them bearing Equestrian imagery. I see-_

" _Canterlot Castle," I whisper._

" _Oh yes, very good," she sneers. "Now-"_

 _I slam her against the wall. She's a demon – taller, stronger, prouder. But this is my mind. And I tell her this._

" _Mine as well," she sneers. "It became mine the moment you put on the Crown of Harmony."_

" _And you lost your form minutes later."_

" _Your weakness gave birth to me, and your weakness nearly killed me," she hisses. "Now, silly girl, stop and see what your weakness gave birth to long before."_

 _She gestured down the corridor. I turn my head and-_

No.

 _She can't show me this. Not now. Not here. Not within my own memories. I turn around, to demand, beg, if necessary, that she take this away. But she's nowhere to be seen. I'm left as a prisoner within my memory. And my eyes are my chains, as I see them walking down the corridor._

 _I see Princess Celestia, in all her magnificence. Even with me in human form, she is still my equal in height. Her mane like a rainbow, her horn akin to a sword, her hair white, and her wings angelic. She's there, before me. My mentor, my friend, my bond to Equestria sundered. And there, walking beside her, is me. The me of three years ago. The me that is about to go down a terrible path._

 _I run towards them, but stop. This is my dream, and this is my mind. This is my recollection of history. It is not history itself. Nothing I can do will change this. I look away and-_

Watch.

 _Her voice yanks the chains of my mind, and my eyes turn. In my mind, she has power. And as my eyes turn to my old mentor, my ears follow suit._

" _Sunset Shimer, I've heard that you're not getting along with the other students," I hear Celestia say. "We've talked about the fact that personal relationships-"_

" _Personal relationships?" my past self sneers. "Who needs anypony? The most important thing in life is to be the best."_

 _I wince as they walk past me. I remember this moment – it was the day after the mid-term exam where I used the growth spell. I remember uttering these very words, and I remember being the person I was back then. The person I was up to the moment when the demon that haunts me was brought into this world._

 _But the memories do not do the truth justice. Seeing the old me, hearing the old me…I see her…me…I…for what she…I…was. See, and hear, and hate it._

Keep watching.

" _We've talked about friendship and its importance before, and we've discussed that you need to start opening up to new friends," Celestia continues. "And remember that talk we had about humility?"_

" _I remember," the past me says. "It was boring."_

 _Celestia sighs, but nonetheless keeps walking. Through the magic of her horn, she opens a giant pair of doors, and beckons my past self to follow her. I follow, but stop under the arch. I know what's in there. I know what's about to happen. I turn around, only to see the demon watching me._

" _Go in," she whispers._

" _No."_

" _Do you dare defy me?"_

" _You can't make me go in there."_

" _I can, and I may," she says, smiling like the devil she is. "But you want to see it, don't you? You want to see what you nearly saw all those years ago. To plumb the depths of your mind, and see the truth."_

 _I say nothing, but my legs carry me forward anyway. Two legs, as opposed to the four of my mentor and past self. I see Celestia show me the mirror that links Equestria to the human world. The mirror I would use to cross over three years ago, and cross back three months ago in order to steal the Crown of Harmony._

" _Don't do it," I whisper. "Turn away."_

 _But she won't. My past self can't hear me. Memory is history, and history can never be changed._

" _Now then," Celestia says. "Look into the mirror and tell me what you see."_

" _A beautiful pony that has nothing but power and potential," my past self says smugly._

 _I wince, and I'm not the only one to do so. Because I see the look on Celestia's face, and hear her say, "care to try that again with our talk about humility taken into account?"_

 _I close my eyes. The demon can keep me within my dreams. She can't force me to watch._

" _I see a pony who isn't powerful enough," my past self says. "Somepony who could be great, powerful. Somepony who could rule all Equestria."_

 _I open my eyes. This is what the demon wants. But I have to see for myself. There were two things I saw in the mirror that day. One, I remember clearly, and the other..._

 _I see her. See what my past self saw. The mirror making my desires manifest upon its glass. I see myself as an alicorn, a princess, a ruler of Equestria, the equal of Luna and Celestia. I see what my past self sees, but see it differently. Eyes, three years older, linked to a mind three years wiser. I see an alicorn, looking out from the mirror, not in might, but in contempt. Conceit. Arrogance. Elements that no true alicorn could ever possess. Elements that were lurking within me, brought to the surface. I can hear my ego laughing, and I offer no voice to battle her own. The memory is the same. Only my perception has changed._

" _Maybe we better move on," Celestia says. She turns away, and for a moment, my past self follows suit. But her head suddenly switches back, as something in the mirror catches her eye. I know it does, because I remember it catching my eye, three years ago._

" _Wait, what was that?" she asks. "I that I saw…"_

 _She trails off, and Celestia says, "oh, it was probably a trick of the light." She pauses, before continuing. "Our lesson is over for today. For tomorrow, I want you to reflect on the discussion we've just had."_

 _My past self makes a non-committal "hmm," but nonetheless follows her teacher._ My _teacher, I think to myself, before reality sits in. She isn't my teacher. Not anymore, and likely never will be again. I stand in place, as I watch both ponies leave. Wanting to go with them, but knowing I can't follow. That I can change nothing._

 _And then I'm alone. Left in the room with the mirror. Alone, in what feels familiar, and worse, normal. As if this is what's meant to be._

Look in the mirror.

 _But not alone, I recall. I hear her voice. It comes from all around me, entering my ears from every angle. I hear her, as she whispers the words of a devil._

Look in the mirror.

 _And, Celestia help me, I oblige. Because something caught my eye that day. Something I saw but only the barest of glimpses of. A glance at Canterlot High? Or something else? Something more? Slowly, I approach, and I raise a hand to the mirror, feeling its cold, uncaring glass meet my palm. I step forward, and-_

" _Hello Sunset."_

 _I scream, as I see her in the mirror. Scream, as I try to draw back, only for her claws to lunge out and grab me by the shoulders._

" _I didn't see you!" I yell. "I can't have seen you!"_

" _But I am you," she says. "How could you see anything but me?"_

 _She pulls me in through the mirror, and I fall. Through memory, despair, and doubt, through the darkness of my mind._

 _Her laughter is all around me._

* * *

Canterlot Castle: A History: Volume II

 _The book is in the hooves of my past self. A book that led to my discovery of what was beyond the mirror. I'm lying on the floor of the library, watching history unfold. My mind a time capsule, the book as much a record of fate as it is of history. I look around for the demon, but she's nowhere to be seen. I get up, and-_

Huh?

 _I'm a pony again. Within my mind, I've regained my old form, one that I haven't had since I briefly returned to Equestria. Not that long, all things considered, but still, it feels alien to me. No clothes, a horn, hooves, a tail…I've spent so long as a human, that even in my mind, my original body feels alien to me. I wonder if-_

" _Here we go!" my past self exclaims._

 _I look at her, as she reads through the book. "The Crystal Mirror," she murmurs. "Every thirty moons, a portal will open to…another world?"_

" _That's not really for you to know now, is it?"_

 _The eyes of two Sunset Shimmers turn to Celestia, who's entered the library, flanked by two of her royal guards. Three pairs of eyes are focused on Sunset Shimmer, prize pupil, and not Sunset Shimmer, the ghost of guilt not passed. I know what they're going to say. How many times has this conversation played out in my mind?_

" _How dare you keep this kind of magic from me?!" my past self yells. "You know that I'm ready for this, that I can be great!"_

 _I wasn't. And I'm not now._

" _You_ could _be great," Celestia says, showing more faith in me than I can claim to possess. "I thought I saw compassion and sincerity in you, but it was nothing but ambition. You're being selfish. You need to step back and reflect-"_

" _I'm selfish?!" past-me exclaims, throwing the book at her teacher. "That book right there says I could become as powerful as an alicorn princess. I could rule here! It's selfish of you to keep me from my rightful place!" She pauses, and when she speaks, her voice is lower, more in control. But the venom is there. The venom that I carried with me for three years. "I deserve to stand by you and be your equal…if not your better." She locks eyes with her teacher. "Make me a princess."_

 _Celestia stands there, rooted to the spot. The guards stand in shock, but the only true alicorn in this room looks…sad. Only for a moment, but it's there. Was it something I recognised on some level back then? Or has it only occurred to me now, how much hurt I inflicted with those words? Because listening to them now, I feel ill._

" _No," Celestia says._

 _The feeling doesn't leave me – I still know what comes next._

" _Being a princess must be earned," she continues, her voice heavy. "I have been trying to teach you everything you need to know, but you've turned from it. Every time you say you 'deserve' to get something without effort just proves to me that you are not ready." She sighs, and as she spreads her wings before pronouncing sentence, I see her as the true ruler of Equestria that she is._

" _Sunset Shimmer, I am removing you from the position of my pupil. If you cannot get past this, your studies end here. You are welcome to stay in Canterlot, but you are no longer welcome to stay in the castle."_

 _My ears hear her words, but my eyes see only my past self. I look as she glares at Celestia, her eyes ablaze with the light of a false sun. Slowly, she speaks, through gritted teeth…_

" _We'll never get 'past this,' because you aren't seeing how great I deserve to be. Is this really all you have to say?"_

" _No. The guards will escort you out."_

 _I didn't even deserve such a courtesy, I reflect. But I watch as the guards do indeed escort past-me out. As she snarls, "this is the biggest mistake you'll make in your entire life."_

" _One of many," Celestia says softly._

 _I stay rooted in spot, as I watch my old self walk away._

Go after her.

 _I stay in place, even as her voice whispers to me. I was wondering when I'd hear from her again._

You can't stay here, your memory won't allow it.

" _I won't," I say. But she's right. The world around me is fading. My memory of this room exists only as long as my past self stayed in it._

" _Do as I say!"_

 _The demon appears before me, in all her terrible glory. She was already taller than me in her human form. As a pony, I'm dwarfed horrifically._

" _Follow her," she snarls. "See it to the end."_

" _Why?" I whisper. "We know what happens."_

" _Then tell me,_ princess _."_

" _I used my magic to incapacitate the guards," I say. "Then I entered through the mirror."_

" _Why?" she asks._

" _Why?" I say. "Because…because I wanted to prove her wrong? Because I wanted more power?"_

" _Because you were weak," she sneers. "And selfish. And foolish. And right now, you're no different."_

" _You're wrong!"_

" _Lie to yourself, but not to me. I know you, Sunset. Better than you even know yourself."_

" _That's not true," I say._

" _More lies, but what can I expect from-"_

 _I send a stream of magical energy from my horn at the demon. She swats it aside, laughing, before swooping down and grabbing me by the neck. I shout, I cry, I feel blood and water mix. She cackles, as she draws out her claws. I sob as she tears a gash against my cheek._ All a dream, _I try to tell myself._ It'll be over soon.

" _Time to wake up Sunset," the demon sneers. "Wake up and smell reality. All this is who you are. And who you'll always be. Alone. Unloved."_

 _She throws me down into the darkness._

* * *

" _Wake up Sunset."_

 _The darkness remains around me. Darkness that is the colour of dreams. Darkness that I spurn, for if I embrace it, I'd be fated to dream longer._

" _Wake up Sunset."_

 _Funny, how the voice of the dream bids me wake, while also acting as my jailer._

" _Open your eyes."_

 _The dream is giving a different order now, but already, I can see a glare beyond my eyelids. As if the sun has risen, and is shining directly into them. So open them I do, in anticipation of the dawn._

 _But I don't see the sun. Instead I see-_

* * *

"Wake up Sunset."

"Gah!"

I spring up from my sleeping bag. Sweat drenches my hair, my neck, my back. In the end there…did I actually see…

"You alright?"

"Twilight?" I rub my eyes, and my image begins to clear. I'm in Pinkie's room, and apart from Twilight, I'm the only one in it. What's also noticeable is that I'm still in my peejays, while Twilight is fully dressed. "What time is it?" I ask.

"Nine-fifteen," she says.

"Nine-fifteen?" I stand up straight in shock. "School was-"

"Cancelled," Twilight says, smiling.

"Huh?"

"Cancelled," Twilight repeats. "Every band taking part in the battle gets today and tomorrow off to rehearse. So, that includes the Rainbooms, you, and since I'm not a student…"

I frown – neither of those parameters exclude me from attendance. But I don't care – it's not as if Luna or Celestia could talk to my parents, and some tardiness now is a small price to pay for offering what little help I can.

"Anyway, we're going to be heading to Applejack's to rehearse in ten," Twilight continues. "The battle begins at three-fifteen, so that gives us a good five hours."

"Yeah, great," I murmur.

"Sunset, are you okay?"

"Fine." I lie back down in my sleeping bag and covering my eyes with my palm. "Just too much whipped cream."

"Uh-huh." Twilight doesn't sound convinced. "Well, see you in a bit. And if there's anything you want to talk about-"

"There's nothing," I say quickly." I remove my palm, look at Twilight, and force a smile, before letting out an awkward laugh. "Everything's fine, trust me."

'Trust me.' That's a tall order, and the look on Twilight's face shows me that she has some trouble abiding by it. But she nonetheless nods and leaves the room, leaving me to think about whipped cream, and what it led to. Memories. Dreams. Nightmares. The chains of my mind reaching out to scar me. Just as sure as the scar on my cheek where the demon ran her claws down my mind's flesh.

In the real world, the pain's still there.

In the real world, it starts to bleed.

* * *

 _A/N_

 _Why yes, I did take scenes from_ The Fall of Sunset Shimmer _one-shot comic and present them here, thanks for asking._

 _Actually, on that note, there are two things I feel that are probably worth bringing up. First, the comic in question, where Sunset possibly sees her alicorn self in the mirror. Or not. By my reading, it's actually down to interpretation as to whether the mirror is showing her an actual image, or it's a visual metaphor, a representation of what's going on in her head. If asked, I'd actually go with the latter, but for the sake of this story, presented it as the former._

 _Secondly, the demon. Some of you may be saying "that sounds like Midnight Sparkle," and yes, it is. I will say that I did conceive this story well before the fourth film was even announced though (course you've only got my word for that, but anyone who looks at my writing homepage can see that years can pass between a story going on the writing/drafting list, and me getting round to it). In a way,_ Legend of Everfree _kind of validates the idea (or not), but, well, yeah. Regardless of origination vs. execution, hopefully it works out._


	5. Loyalty

.

 **My Little Pony: Sunset's Shimmer**

 **Chapter 5: Loyalty**

Two months ago, I would have told the Rainbooms that their singing was terrible. That they have no sense of rhythm, cohesion, melody, tonality, and that the lyrics Twilight is singing are asinine.

Because I'm a different person than the one I was two months ago, I don't tell them any of these things. But that's my assessment nonetheless, as Twilight and the Rainbooms try once again to get her song to work.

 _Hey, hey, listen._

 _We've got a message for you._

 _We're not all alike._

 _But our friendship is true._

I've had a headache ever since I woke up this morning, and Twilight's off-key singing isn't helping. Nor the dissonant melodies that come from the girls' instruments. Along with Spike, I cover my ears and turn the speaker down as a high-pitched noise emanates from them. But while my ears are closed, my eyes aren't, and I can see that for all of Twilight's unease, she isn't the only one who's feeling so. I watch as Fluttershy briefly gets into 'the zone,' playing her tambourine with vigour until Rainbow shoots her a glance. I watch as Applejack and Rarity stop playing, before shooting Pinkie a glance, who's lying on her drums fiddling with her drumstick. She picks up the beat, but only physically, and not in spirit. No-one's having fun, and it's affecting their performance.

 _You may think you're in control._

 _But we're here to prove you wrong._

 _With our friendship and our music._

 _With the power of our song._

The song has no power, I reflect. I can see how this is a counter-spell, how the lyrics are aimed at the sirens directly, but nonetheless, they're…basic, I reflect. I'm hardly a composer, my experiments in the music room notwithstanding, but this song is broken. That's the only way I can describe it.

 _Gonna stomp our feet, clap our hands,_

 _With the magic of friendship,_

 _Gonna stop your evil plan._

The song comes to an end. Only Rainbow seems to be having fun, as she provides a bit of life with her guitar, even starting to pony up, but it's too little, too late. The song ends, like a car running on fumes before dying, leaving only silence. And in the barn, silence is all that remains. An awkward silence that I can relate to all too well.

"Eh, that sounded way better than the last…five times you've played it," Spike ventures awkwardly.

"Nope," comes the voice of Big Mac, Applejack's brother, as he passes by outside.

I can't debate that opinion. I want to say something, but I have no idea how to go about this. I'm not even part of the band.

 _You never will be._

"I think it's pretty obvious what's going wrong with this counter-spell," says Rainbow Dash.

"You're turning what should be the chorus into a five minute guitar solo?" Applejack shoots back.

"I have to pick up the slack somehow! Are you guys even trying?!"

"I'm trying," whispers Fluttershy.

"It's fine," Twilight says, sounding like she's trying to convince herself as much as the band. She laughs nervously. "It'll be fine. One more time from the top!"

Given the looks on the girls' faces, they're clearly not keen on that idea.

I feel terrible. For Twilight, for the girls, and at myself, for not knowing what to say. Because looking at them, at the awkwardness that's grown between them, I want to say that it's not a case of not trying hard enough. It's not even entirely attributable to the lyrics. Because I've seen the girls do better than this. Only two days ago they were singing _Better Than Ever_ , and _were_ better than ever. But now? What's happened?

"Maybe we should take a short break, try on some of the wardrobe choices I put together," Rarity says, coming to the rescue. She pulls out a rack of clothes that she's designed, all of them, to borrow her words, "fabulous."

 _Says the person who's wearing the same black leather jacket for three years._

I tug at my jacket – yeah, it's the same one I arrived in this world with, and the same one I've worn since then. The demon's right about one thing, I really need some new attire.

"I'm particularly fond of this one," Rarity continues, drawing out a bright blue rock-and-roll jacket. "Of course, we could always go with something a bit more modern."

"We're tryin' to save our school here. Enough with the costumes!" Applejack exclaims.

"Oh, you can never have enough costumes," Rarity protests.

"She just wants to have fun," says Pinkie. "Isn't that what being in a band is supposed to be about?"

As I watch Pinkie slump over her drums, I can tell that fun is the last thing she's having. Likewise bereft of levity are Rarity and Applejack as they bicker over the former's priorities. Rainbow's idly strumming her guitar strings, Twilight's pacing around, looking at the lyrics she wrote down, and Fluttershy looks like she's on the verge of tears. I glance awkwardly at Spike, before also glancing at my watch and-

 _3pm!_

"And how the heck do you think-"

"Guys, you don't have time for this!" I say. "You're supposed to check in the Battle of the Bands in fifteen minutes!"

The girls gasp, and immediately enter a furore of packing up their equipment – one that I join in. All but Twilight, who remains in place, even as Pinkie snatches the microphone from under her chin.

"But…but it's not ready," she says, speaking to herself more than anyone else. If we play our counter-spell in the first round and it doesn't work, the sirens will know what we're up to and make sure we don't get a chance to play it again!"

We screech to a halt, and look at each other awkwardly. I'm not going to bring it up that the song in of itself is flawed, but-

 _Oh, do be quiet you silly girl, you're not a composer or a performer._

That's true, I reflect sadly. But how can we-

"Then we'll have to buy ourselves some time, so you can keep working on it," Applejack says.

"But how do you propose we do that?" Rarity asks.

"Easy," Rainbow says. "We compete in the Battle of the Bands for real. I take over lead vocals again and we stay alive until the finals. We unleash the counter-spell _then_." She looks at Twilight. "You'll have it figured out by the finals, right?"

"Of course she will," Spike says. "Twilight Sparkle's never met a problem she couldn't solve. Right, Twilight?"

"Right," she murmurs.

I can tell that something's bothering her, but-

"Great," Rainbow says. Then let's go win us a Battle of the Bands!"

The Rainbooms file out, following her lead. In a way, everything's back to normal. Rainbow's back in control. The band's back together. Or something. I watch as Twilight hesitates, before picking Spike up and following them. She doesn't have any instrument to carry, only her voice. And me? I can't even carry that. Only the feeling that something's terribly wrong, and not just the lyrics. But I don't have time for that, and I can only run out after them. Wondering what it would be like to sing. Wondering how a song of my own would go.

 _Power…was all that I desired._

 _But all that grew inside me,_

 _Was a darkness I acquired._

The words are uttered under my breath, followed by:

 _When I began to fall,_

 _And I lost the path ahead._

 _That's when your friendship found me,_

 _And it lifted me instead._

"Sunset?"

 _Gah!_

Twilight gives me a look as we approach Applejack's ute. "Did you say something?" she asks.

"Huh? No, no, nothing," I say quickly.

"You sure? I could swear I heard-"

"You heard nothing," I snap. I immediately regret the sharpness, and I laugh awkwardly in a bid to cover it. "I said nothing." I force a smile. "Trust me, you're the band's vocalist, not me."

"Right," Twilight says, as she gets into the car. "'Singing.'"

After a moment of hesitation, I follow suit. Laughter, once so vibrant at Pinkie's, is now nothing but a minor scale, carried on a bitter stave.

 _Enough of the singing, and enough of the metaphors. Just let the girls do their thing and stay out of it._

The demon's voice rings true. Maybe she really is trying to help me. I stay silent as we head off to Canterlot High nonetheless.

We all do.

* * *

When we arrive in the gym, it's not a pretty sight.

I could hear Vice Principal Luna saying something about the competition, and there only being one winner. I could hear the insults being thrown around from outside the door, and now, as we finally enter the room, I can see the entire gym in uproar.

"You don't stand a chance!"

"Your band stinks and you know it!"

"Don't talk the talk when you can't rock the rock."

All this and more forms a terrible music of its own – discordant, syncopated, surreal. I say surreal, because I can see the green mist emanating from the students and reaching the Dazzlings, and I can also see Luna and Celestia just standing there, oblivious to everything. Surreal, because it isn't just the band members who are hurling insults at each other, it's the audience as well. Not cheering for the bands they like, but rather yelling out to the world which bands they want to lose.

Twilight takes point, leading us into the cesspool. Or a gauntlet, I reflect, as the insults keep coming, some of them directed at us. The Rainbooms, to be specific – for once, I'm not the butt of their vocal barbs, but I feel no less terrible for my friends. Rainbow glances at the Dazzlings, seated at the top of one of the gym benches. Smirking at the scene of chaos below them.

"It looks like they're feeding off the negative energy," she says, echoing my own observations.

"That's exactly what they're doing," says Twilight. "We have to perform the counter-spell as soon as possible."

Fluttershy's wringing her hands. "I'm so…so…"

"Nervicited?" asks Pinkie.

"Terrified!" She swallows, holding her tambourine close.

I don't blame Fluttershy – all the girls are terrified. _I'm_ terrified. She's just showing it the most.

"Alright, alright, settle down," says Celestia. I look at the principal – she's standing there, looking out over the hall as if this was all the regular chatter you'd get in an assembly meeting. "The competition will begin in five minutes. First up, Snips and Snails."

The dark looks between the students remain, but at least the hall does quieten down. I look at a poster mounted on the wall, showing the band brackets, and the order they'll be playing in. Our first bracket is against Octavia, a cello player, but we're actually playing second, and-

 _Not we._ They.

Here voice, or my own? It's correct either way. It's the Rainbooms who will be playing, and not me. Nevertheless, I follow them backstage.

The battle has begun.

* * *

"My name is MC Ships, and that ain't no lie. My favourite food is like pumpkin pie."

"I'm DJ Snazzy Snails. I like whales. When I go to the beach, I always bring my pails."

 _So,_ I think to myself, _this is what torture is actually like._

I've never tortured anyone. I've done terrible things, I'm not denying that, but torture? I've never stooped that low. But listening to this rap, or whatever the heck it is…this is torture. My mind has been opened, and become much darker, expanded to the horrific possibilities of the universe. I glance at my friends, and they all have dumbstruck looks on their faces bar Pinkie, who's dancing to the beat, enjoying it. Somehow.

I feel sorry for them, Snips and Snails, as they do their rap upon the stage. They were my lackeys for three years, and yes, they did horrible things as well, but only under my direction. Demon-me even turned them into demons themselves. Like me, they had to repair the damage done after the Fall Formal. So, yes, looking at them now, I feel sorry for them, no matter how bad the rap is.

"Everybody knows my favourite colour is orange," Snips says. "My rhymes are so fly, they're better than…um…"

"Then an orange yo!" Snails continues.

It's over, and even they know it. Up until now, they've interspaced their lyrics with beatboxing, but now, it's only beatboxing, and not good beatboxing at that. So their last lyrics go as thus:

"What do we...What do we do now?"

"Get off the stage, I'd like to leave right now."

"Bam, that just happened!"

"Aw yeah, we out!"

"Snips and Snails outta here!"

To top it off, they drop their microphones – I and all my friends double over, hands to our ears. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the two microphones roll to the edge of the stage, in front of the desk where an unimpressed pair of principals are seated.

"Please do not drop the microphones," Celestia says.

The boys high five and grab them, before walking across the stage towards us. "In your face, Rainbooms!" Snips exclaims, before giving Snails a high five.

"Well," says Applejack as the boys walk out of earshot. "Least we know one group who won't stand in the way of us getting to the finals."

I guess not, but I hope it won't come to that. Soon as Twilight performs the counter-spell, this battle of the bands will be over. Applejack is right about Snips and Snails, but I have to wonder, isn't reaching the finals secondary to stopping the sirens?

"Anyway, let's get ready to rock," Rainbow says, strapping her guitar on.

"Wait!" exclaims Pinkie in a sudden panic. "Where's Rarity?"

Yeah, where is she? I look around, and-

"I'm here, I'm here!" comes Rarity's voice, as she runs towards us.. She slows down, panting, and it's not just from physical exertion, it's from what she's wearing. She's dressed like a hippie, with a long skirt and a metallic fringed blouse – Bohemian chic, I understand is the term. But my friends just stare, and, yeah, I stare with them.

"We will be performing in front of an audience. I'm not going to wear something fabulous?" She asks.

"Guh," is all Applejack says, putting a hand to her face. Looking at her expression, I can tell that she wants to say a lot more, but there isn't time. The girls head on stage.

"Good luck," I call out."

No-one responds. I stand there, in the wings, watching them set up. Wanting to say something. Wishing I could be there.

 _You know you're not good enough, right?_

Yeah, I think. I suppose I'm not.

But they're my friends. I'm loyal to them. Even if moral support is all I can offer.

* * *

 _We've just got the day to get ready,_

 _And there's only so much time to lose._

 _Because tonight, yeah, we're here to party,_

 _So let's think of something fun to do._

It's like night and day compared to the barn yard performance, and it's not because Twilight's on back-up vocals. If anything, her singing is better than I've ever heard it so far. It's not even that the lyrics are better, or the tone, the rhythm, or any other musical factor, even though the song _Shake Your Tail_ is better than the counter-spell lyrics in all those areas. No, the reason that it works is that…well, it works. All the Rainbooms look at ease. They look like they're having fun. And that, more than anything, is translating into better music.

Makes me want to join them even more.

But that hasn't happened. Maybe it'll never happen. But for now, I stand on the edge of the stage, getting a clear view of my friends, and also the crowd. All of them standing in icy silence. And-

 _Huh?_

Something's wrong with Rarity. She's still singing, but her arms are raised upwards, no longer playing her keytar. Two magnets have been lowered from above the stage and attached themselves to the metal on her blouse, forcing her to stumble around like a mannequin. I can't see who's doing it, but I look towards Luna and Celestia – surely they can see what's happening.

Maybe they can. But they still sit there in silence. Even as the magnets send Rarity stumbling into Applejack, causing her to miss a note.

I've got to do something, but what? The Rainbooms are still performing, the song is still intact, but they're one band member down. But it's not only the principals who are unfazed, it's the students as well. Still with their stares of contempt. I can see Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle making exaggerated snoring sounds. "Boring!" Applebloom yawns, loud enough for me to hear it.

It's like I'm back in the gym again from two days ago…

 _So what you didn't get it right the first time?_

 _Laugh it off, no-one said it is a crime._

 _Do your thing, you know you're an original._

 _Your ideas are so funny that they're criminal._

The song goes on, and Pinkie fires a stream of confetti from her drums. No idea how, not sure why. Maybe to lighten the mood? If so, it isn't working. I see Twilight cough, as a piece of confetti enters her throat, only removed after Fluttershy hits her on the back with her tambourine. I see Flash and his band storm off, Flash giving a glare that can't be likened to ice, but rather, poison. Twilight and Fluttershy return to singing, but both of them cast an uneasy glance at each other – Fluttershy plays her instrument a bit less vivaciously, and Twilight…Twilight seems like she's on the verge of tears.

I want to help her. I want to help all of them, but how? What if I make things worse than they already are? Because, yes, things are getting worse, as one of the spotlights from above the stage suddenly focuses on Fluttershy, putting her in the spotlight literally and figuratively. As much as she moves from side to side, it follows her. She runs from one side of the stage to the next, the Rainbooms giving her odd glances even as they keep the song up. It's Applejack who gets the worst of it, who has to deal with Fluttershy coming from one direction, and Rarity the other.

 _Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight,_

 _Shake your tail, shake your tail!_

 _Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight,_

 _Shake your tail, shake your tail!_

Still the song goes on, even as Fluttershy hides behind Pinkie's drums. Even as Rarity falls to the ground, the fabric of her blouse having been ripped off by the magnets. She breaks down, crying, while the remaining Rainbooms do what they can to finish the song. Even as Applejack gives Rarity a glare that is almost as poisonous as the one gave Twilight. Even as Twilight's vocals end with a whimper, and Rainbow remains front and centre, yet giving her band-members uneasy glances. "Picking up the slack," I suppose, in a song that should never have slacked to begin with.

 _Failure._

I hear her voice again, and she's right. I could have done something. _Should_ have done something. But I didn't, and the song ends, only to be met with the sound of hostile silence. Well, not quite – both Luna and Celestia clap enthusiastically – apparently the sirens' spell isn't so powerful that they're immune to quality. But it's two pairs of hands when it should be many more.

"Sunset?" Spike asks, looking up at me while the Rainbooms begin packing up their instruments. "What the heck just happened?"

I sigh and pick him up, giving him a pat on the head. "Something bad Spike," I say. "Something bad."

* * *

"Ruined. Absolutely ruined!" Rarity exclaims.

She's the first Rainboom to get off the stage – tears are running down her cheeks, taking her mascara with them. Applejack comes off second, and is fuming. "Rarity, were you tryin' to make us lose out there?"

"Wh…oh!" she exclaims, turning around and glaring at Applejack. "This was not my fault. This was an act of sabotage."

She's right, I think – the magnets were there for everyone to see and-

"Yeah, well, whoever did this couldn't have done this if you didn't insist on dressing like…like this!" Applejack gestures towards Rarity's costume. "We need to _sound_ good. Is there some reason that concept escapes you?"

Spike and I exchange an uneasy glance. It's one we extend to Twilight, who exited the stage last. She, at least, isn't blowing a casket, but she's very much in the minority, as Rainbow, piece of confetti in hand, is going on at Pinkie.

"And what was with the confetti Pinkie Pie?" she snaps. "How am I supposed to shred if there's paper stuck in my frets?"

"It was pretty distracting," Fluttershy chimes in.

"Oh!" Pinkie retorts, turning on Fluttershy. "Says the girl who was running from a light the whole time. A light!"

This is all wrong – I've never seen my friends act this way. Two months ago, even after everything I'd done, they were the ones who were there for me, the only people in Canterlot High willing to give me a second chance. Two days ago, there was still some unease, but they were singing _Better Than Ever_ , and sounding like it. But this? I've never seen such venom come out from their mouths. I open my mouth, and-

 _Don't push it._

…and close it, as I reconsider my words. Obviously they're just stressed, so I say, "you still sounded much better than most of the other bands. I'm sure you'll make it to the next round." The girls stop arguing and look at me. "But it won't matter if you don't have the counter-spell ready."

Murmurings come from the group – all of them bar Twilight, who's oddly silent. "You all find a place to practice where the sirens can't hear you," I continue. "I'll keep an eye on things around here."

As if on cue, I see Derpy come out with two fellow classmates on stage, as their performance begins. Their music is...well, it's the type of music that comes from a triangle, a musical saw, and a wood block. Not that complex melodically, but my friends nod, and head out. Maybe it's my words, maybe it's the music, but either way, they've calmed down. Spike gives a small yelp and bounds off after Twilight. I smile, and let out a sigh, letting the music of the Ditzy Doos wash over me.

I still don't know what caused my friends to freak out like that – I mean, someone was obviously trying to sabotage them, yet they were looking at each other for blame. But, hey, crisis averted. So while they get to prepare the counter-spell, all I have to do is make myself useful.

 _Good luck with that._

I ignore my voice and head out into the corridor.

My friends were on the verge of tearing each other apart. I can't let her do that to me from the inside.

* * *

"The next band to take the stage will be Trixie and the Illusions."

I'm in front of the door that leads to the wings from the main corridor. The sirens will have to pass through here – they're on after Trixie. And sure enough, here they come – swaggering down the hallways as if they own the place. As if they've already won. I frown, as I see their smirks – those stupid grins, above all else, are what get to me. Bright white teeth that hide their fangs.

 _Or do you hate them because it's how you used to smile?_

I shut her voice out as they approach. I'm leaning against the wall, arms folded. They've got the whole school in their thrall, but not me. And I'm damn well going to tell them that.

"You're never gonna get away with this," I say bluntly.

It feels good to take a stand. It's like there's a shield between me and them – I'm already immune to their magic. What could they possibly do now?

"Why?" Adagio sneers. "Because you didn't?"

My eyes widen, and the shield shatters. _What?_

"Oh we know all about you Sunset Shimmer," Adagio says, as she and her cronies walk towards me. They start to circle me, like timber wolves would a filly. "You've got quite the reputation at Canterlot High."

"I've changed, I'm in a much better place now," I protest.

Aria Blaze laughs. "Waiting in the wings while your 'friends' have all the fun onstage?"

I begin rubbing my hands together awkwardly. It's all mind games, I tell myself. I'm loyal to my friends. I have to help them and…

"Oh yes," snickers Adagio. "You girls are _so_ tight. And yet, they didn't ask you to be in the band."

 _That…I mean, well, I can't play…well, I sort of can…maybe…but it's not like-_

"Probably afraid no-one would want to see them play if she was in the group," says Aria.

 _That…that's not true. I mean…_

"Too bad, so sad," bursts out Sonata.

The shield hasn't just been shattered. It's been pulverized. Once, I'd folded my arms in confidence. Now, I want to draw them around me, to hide away from the world.

 _You know it's true._

Her voice, I can barely distinguish it from the sirens. For what is her voice if not reality? I mean, they're right – I never asked to be in the band, but I was never offered the position either. Not even when Twilight got in. No hand extended, no offer given. I've stuck with them as best I could, showed my loyalty, and yet, nothing. Right now, they're perfecting a song to defeat the sirens, while I'm left alone. I was alone when I came to this world. I was alone when they extended their hands to me, even if I temporarily forgot what loneliness was. And worst of all, when this is all over, I'll be alone again. Kept at arm's length. Despised by the school as the lesser of two evils.

"If it's any consolation," Adagio says, as if reading my thoughts, "no-one is going to remember you at all by the time we're done."

Laughing, they stride past me, Adagio and Sonata knocking me with their shoulders for good measure. I clutch my left arm in pain – pain that comes from within, not from without. The pain of knowing that everything they said is true. I'm not in the Rainbooms, I can't help them, and no-one will ever forget what I did at this school. I lean against the wall, and take a deep breath – the only way to keep the tears from coming out.

It's like the aftermath of the Fall Formal, but worse. Back then, all I had lost was a dream of power. Now, I've lost something more beautiful – hope. I can't help but feel that the sirens winning, and being remembered by no-one, would be a happier ending for me.

Trixie and her band sound out from the stage, while I remain in the alcove. In the dark.

Alone.

* * *

This all began on Tuesday. The Battle of the Bands began on Thursday. By Friday afternoon, I know what Hell is like.

There's a total of sixteen bands participating in the competition, progressing through simple brackets. This was meant to be a musical showcase with each of those bands playing once, but a tournament means that some bands will have to play multiple times. So, by the end of Thursday, there were eight remaining. Today will see that number whittled down to two in the gym, while this night, a concert will be held in the school's outdoor amphitheatre. The place where the musical showcase was originally going to be held, under the basis of sixteen single performances occurring, but will now be the final battlefield. Luna and Celestia may be in the sirens' thrall, but even they can appreciate that there's no way to fit in thirty performances over the course of a single day. But having watched one and half days unfold before my eyes, I suspect that this has played into the sirens' hands as well. Drag out the war. Drag out the hatred. Drag that green mist that's pouring into their pendants constantly, elevated every time a song is played. As they stated in their first song, "you didn't even know that you fell, now that you're under our spell."

And they were right. Because I still saw how they performed their first song, how they swayed side to side as they sung. How the entire school swung along with them, entranced – a sharp contrast to the jeers and boos that accompanied every other performance I've seen. I've told my friends about this, but they barely care, so desperate as they are to keep in the game, and finish the counter-spell.

 _Friends. Hah!_

I still hear her voice, even as The Flashlights (Flash's band) sing _Love in a Flash_ , in a world where love has disappeared. I hear her voice, and tell myself that despite what she and the Dazzlings said, I'm loyal to my friends. We're all in this together.

 _Keep telling yourself that. You know what you saw._

Yeah, I reflect, as Flash's song comes to an end, and the boos come again. I have.

I've seen Canterlot High at its most vicious. I've seen the Dazzlings enrapture everyone except my friends and me. And most disturbing of all, not even the Rainbooms appear immune to it. Nothing on the scale of the malaise that's gripped the school, but…little things. Every time I see them on stage, they look on edge. Unhappy. Unhappy in different ways – I can hear a waver in Twilight's voice. I can see Fluttershy beat her tambourine with less and less enthusiasm. Pinkie beats her drums apathetically, while Applejack and Rarity appear to be in the midst of a feud, shooting each other glances as they play. Only Rainbow is giving it her all. I can't deny that she's an excellent guitar player, but I can't forget what happened at the end of Thursday. In the first bracket, the Rainbooms were paired against Octavia – yes, this is a battle of the bands, but soloists still exist, and Octavia's playing was excellent. As the results were laid out on the billboard showing the brackets, Octavia, showing more dignity than anyone else, simply packed up her cello and headed out. I don't know how she managed it with the poison the sirens have infected on this school, but what did Rainbow Dash call out to her?

"Take a hike, loser."

I could accuse Rainbow Dash of many things. Until now, cruelty was never among them.

So Friday has come, and hell continues. I see the Rainbooms in-between acts, bickering over every little thing that went wrong. Coming in too late, playing out of tune, not 'giving it your all.' Every little slight blown out of proportion, with only Twilight staying out of it. Twilight, always with her notebook, scribbling away furiously. Twilight, who glances at the group every now and then, but always returns to her notebook as it's clear the Rainbooms are more focused on the competition and their slights than the counter-spell. Twilight, who looks like she's on the verge of tears. Eventually, I approach her and ask, "you okay?"

"Fine," she says, not even glancing at me.

"Come on Twilight, I-"

"I said I'm fine!" she yells, glaring at me with enough ferocity to make me think she's actually fallen under the Dazzlings' spell. But only for a moment, as the fire disappears from her eyes, leaving only water. "Fine," she whispers. "Don't worry about me."

I do. But the Rainbooms are on next. There's no question that they're going to play _Friendship Through the Ages_ – a song that feels as out of place as _Love in a Flash_ did.

" _Nothing stays the same for long,"_ I hear Twilight sing from stage. _"But when it changes doesn't mean it's gone. Time will always get away. As it leaves behind another day."_

Time is going, slipping away from me. As the song ends, as my friends storm off-stage, as the bickering and sniping continues, I can't help but feel that a lot is slipping away from us other than time.

"Hey guys," I call out awkwardly. "You sounded-"

"For Pete's sake Pinkie, if I hear you out of beat one more time I'll-"

"Says the girl who keeps hijacking the music!"

"Hijacking?! What do you mean hijacking?!"

"I think-"

"No-one asked you Fluttershy!"

"Rarity, are you trying to play syncopated, or are you just that bad?"

"Applejack, if you don't be quiet right now I'll-"

"Do what? Cry again?"

I want to say something. Try to say something. But I hold back. Who am I to tell them about how they're acting? I was a monster. A real, bona fide monster. I'm the last person who should be lecturing anyone about friendship. So even as Spike glances at me, as if asking for help, I excuse myself. "I'll be back," I call out, hoping for a response. I get none.

As I head down the hall, I can hear them bickering still. Shouting, even. I hear that, and the laughter of a demon. And the final words of their last song.

 _Things may come and things may go._

 _Some go fast and some go slow._

 _Few things last, that's all I know._

 _But friendship carries on through the ages._

I can only hope that's true. But I can't offer friendship when I know it's not wanted nor needed. Instead, all I have to offer is my loyalty to a band that would be booed off the stage if I was involved, and what little titbits of information I can impart.

 _Useless,_ I think to myself. _Absolutely useless._

The demon agrees.

* * *

I'm outside the school in the courtyard. Alone, with nothing but the sound of an autumn wind, and my footsteps on the pavement. I stick my hands in my pockets and draw my jacket in close, shivering as I feel the fingers of winter encroach into the world. More cold than I was inside, yet it was there that ice first entered my heart.

 _Oh quit the melodrama._

I try to ignore her and walk to the statue. The Wondercolt, in all its glory, a stone-hard foundation in a school that has lost it. Aspiration, compassion, respect…gone. Flung to the same wind that blows over me, from the hands of the sirens' song.

 _Very poetic._

I wince, and look at the base of the statue. Slowly, I stick my hand forward, to where Twilight first emerged. It slips through the marble, the surface becoming akin to a swirling pool. The portal's still there, I think. I glance around the courtyard, seeing no-one around. Everyone's in the school, watching a competition that had begun as a beacon of friendship and fair play, now transformed into the opposite. A transformation that has consumed my friends as well. It would be so easy to slip through into Equestria, to leave this all behind. I couldn't expect a welcome there, but it would be better than this place. Because the Dazzlings were right – if they win, no-one will remember what I did. If they lose, everyone will go back to remembering.

 _Do it._

Is it her voice, or my own? I don't know where she begins and I start anymore, provided there's even a divide. But nonetheless, I take a breath, and begin moving towards the portal. Celestia is on the other side, and I know nothing I do will mend the hurt between us. But better than this place. Better than-

 _Don't._

I blink – there's something in the portal. Or beyond the portal. It looks like an alicorn…like something I saw in the mirror…it almost looks like me, I think, as I stick my first hand in and-

 _Don't!_

…draw away, at the last moment. I spin around, putting a hand over my eyes, catching the tears before they fall. _Coward,_ I think to myself, as I look back at the statue. _Coward coward coward!_

It stands there, the Wondercolt. No sign of the portal now, just that big stupid horse. Towering above me, cold, unfeeling, a horse in this world of humans, mocking me about home, looking down at me, sneering at me, despising me like everyone else in this bloody school and-

And I scream, running towards the statue, wishing I had my magic. Wishing I could blow the damn thing to pieces. A crowbar, a hammer, anything! I kick its base, and regret it. I punch its stone, and regret it even more. I yell, I scream, and I nonetheless keep hitting the damn thing. Hoping to see stone bleed. Hoping, beyond hope, that this will end. That once the counter-spell works, I'll be accepted. By my friends. By everyone.

"Damn you," I whisper, nursing my fist, its flesh raw. "Damn you."

I glance around the courtyard. No-one's around bar DJ Pon, who's walking around like the school _isn't_ in the thrall of a trio of monsters. She doesn't even give me a glance despite all my cursing. Maybe it's because she never takes off her headphones. Sighing, I sit down on the grass, and cast my gaze back on the statue.

 _Weak._

I can hear her. _See_ her, within the stone. A demon. One of four that plagues me.

"Go away," I mutter.

 _Where are your friends?_ She sneers. _Weren't you with them last time?_

I remain silent, as I think back to two days ago. When the Rainbooms and I were sitting here, waiting for Twilight. Things weren't that great then, but still, at least I was with them.

 _Why are you helping them?_ she asks

"Thought you said I was useless."

 _They haven't even asked you to join the band._

"The Dazzlings told me why. And…" I sigh. "I'm loyal to them."

 _Lapdog,_ she sneers. _Friends that you're 'loyal' to. How considerate of them to let you bask in their shadow. How generous to let you tag along._ She bears her teeth, fangs and all. _Is that friendship, Sunset? Is it kindness? Tell me, once the sirens are defeated, do you honestly think that any of this is going to change? Do you think that insipid song you have in you will ever be played?_

I get to my feet – the semi-finals will begin soon, and I have to be there for the Rainbooms.

 _Have to be there. How nice you finally have a sense of obligation._

I keep walking, gritting my teeth, shivering from the touch of the breeze, and her claws within my mind. I wonder if I fled into Equestria she'd follow me. At least in Equestria I'd have magic at my side. And likewise, I wonder what stopped me from going. Courage? Cowardice? Loyalty?

I don't know.

* * *

When I get back, I pass through the gym, glad on one level that no-one is giving me the stares they did on Tuesday. On another level, I'm perturbed by the fact that the stare in every student's eyes can only be described as 'hollow'. Like the thralls I once transformed them into, only this time, with enough intelligence left over for cruelty. And anger. Because on the tournament board, I see that the Dazzlings have beaten the Flashlights, and Flash Sentry, as he throws his hands up in the air and storms off, is clearly not very happy about that (or his fellow band members for that matter). Looking at the board, I see that the Rainbooms have made it to the semi-finals. All they have to do is beat The Illusions. So I head backstage, and find my friends getting ready. Apart from Spikes, who's in good cheer, they look tense. On edge. And I don't think it's just due to nerves.

"Well, this is it," I say to them. "Last round and you're in the finals." I look at Twilight. "Unless you think the counter-spell is ready to be played now."

The look on Twilight's face tells me that the answer is "no."

"Don't worry Twilight," Applejack says. "Finals aren't until tonight. We'll get in a little more practice before we're supposed to hit the stage. We won't let you down."

The Rainbooms add in a chorus of affirmations, and I smile. Not just because of their support for Twilight, but that they seem to be back to their old selves, all slights forgotten. But my smile fades as I see Twilight look aside, as I hear her whisper, "you won't let _me_ down."

I frown – I want to ask her something, but I overhear Fluttershy talking with Rainbow.

"Um, I was just wondering," she says. "We haven't played any of my songs yet, and-"

"It's the semi-finals," Rainbow interrupts. "We gotta do _Awesome as I Wanna Be_."

"Don't know why I even asked," Fluttershy mutters darkly.

The cracks have returned. I want to say something, but I know my place. I'm just the lapdog.

But I have to do what I can for them, however little that is.

* * *

The Illusions have made it this far into the competition for a reason, and that reason is that they're good. From the wings, I can hear them wrap up their song. I can hear enthusiastic clapping from the audience – they're good enough to momentarily remind the school that this was meant to be a musical showcase, not a competition where backstabbing became a legitimate tactic. But, as good as they are, they don't have Twilight's magic. So we, I mean, the Rainbooms, have got to beat them.

Trixie walks off-stage towards us, a smirk on her face. "You're never going to top that performance, Rain _goons_ ," she sneers. "Though if you ask me, you shouldn't be allowed to even try when you have such a big advantage over the rest of us."

I meet her sneer with a scowl, as do the Rainbooms – The Illusions have to be beaten. Now that can be done with satisfaction. But while I'm scowling, Rainbow is meeting Trixie's smirk with her own.

"You mean my superior guitar playing and off-the-charts awesome singing voice?" she asks.

"Oh don't be ridiculous, I mean her," Trixie says, pointing at Twilight, who rubs her neck awkwardly. "If you were really all that, Rainbow Dash, you wouldn't have needed to bring in some magical ringer to have half a chance. Everyone's talking about it."

"Hah, puh-leaze," Rainbow shoots back. "I could win this thing as a solo act, and everybody knows it."

I glance at my friends – they're still scowling, but I don't think they're scowling at Trixie…

"Sure you could," Trixie says, before throwing a pellet down onto the ground. Smoke explodes out, leaving us all coughing and fanning away the smoke. It clears quickly, but by this time-

"She's gone!" Pinkie exclaims.

Sweet Celestia, she is! I've no idea what kind of magic she used, but-

"Oh, there she is."

…or maybe she didn't use magic at all, and only went to hide behind the drums, before running off. Actually, there's no "maybe" about it. Just like there's no "maybe" that if Twilight is the magical ringer, I'm the dead weight.

"Next up, the Rainbooms," comes Celestia's voice over the intercom.

The reason I can't ever go on with them.

"Well, this is it," Applejack says. "Come on y'all."

Fluttershy tries to talk to Rainbow Dash about her song, but Rainbow doesn't even respond. She looks as miserable as I feel, but nonetheless follows the band onto the stage.

"Knock 'em dead Rainbooms," Spike calls out.

"I'll be here," I say, waving them on. "Just…watching."

* * *

 _Awesome as I Wanna Be_ is a song exactly like it's composer – loud, fast, energetic, and brash. It's the type of song that only Rainbow Dash could have come up with. It begins with a bang, as Pinkie strikes up a drum beat, and an instrumental announces the arrival of Rainbow herself. She's not only the composer, but also the lead singer. Bar a chant of "heys," the _only_ singer.

 _First you see me riding on a sonic boom,_

 _Got my guitar shreddin' up my latest tune._

 _There is nothin' you can do to beat me,_

 _I'm so good that you can't defeat me._

I don't only watch, but listen. I see Fluttershy give Rainbow a withering glare, before returning to her tambourine, pounding it apathetically. I see Rainbow move across the stage as she sings, singing right in the faces of Twilight, then Applejack, then Rarity, both of whom make their annoyance clear, if not vocally. I see Pinkie leaning back on her stool and idly hitting her drums, keeping a beat and doing nothing else. Rainbow's the one carrying the song. And the others are letting her. Which would be fine, if not for the fact that I can tell that my friends aren't happy with that.

 _Yeah, I'm awesome, take caution,_

 _Watch out for me, I'm awesome as I wanna be._

 _Yeah, I'm awesome, take caution,_

 _Watch out for me, I'm awesome as I wanna be!_

Well, the song's going okay at least, as Rainbow launches into a guitar solo and-

 _Wait._

This isn't part of the composition. Rarity and Applejack stop completely, glaring at her. Pinkie and Fluttershy still keep beat, if not happily, as Rainbow comes to the front of the stage, and right in front of the principals, strings a tune together. A fast, loud, energetic tune, that has nothing to do with the original song.

 _Um, Rainbow?_

She's wild. She's magnificent. She's playing like she's never played before…and she's derailing the entire song. And not only that, but-

 _Rainbow?_

Ears. A tail. She's ponying up.

 _Oh no._

They're emerging. Growing. We're not supposed to show the sirens our magic yet. I have to do something. Anything.

 _Rainbow, stop!_

She keeps playing. Her features keep growing. I stop thinking, and let instinct take over. I rush out onto the stage and dive into Rainbow Dash, knocking her into Twilight, who gets knocked into Rarity, who falls, kicking Applejack's bass, which goes flying into the air before impaling itself in one of Pinkie's drums. The lights flash on, and Fluttershy lets out a scream before running offstage In a manner of seconds, I saved the performance – I can see Rainbow's ears receding. In less time than that, I realize that I've also ruined it.

And I realize that I've never seen anything like the glare Rainbow gives me, as her eyes meet mine, not even after the Fall Formal. I realize that Rainbow Dash can be brash, egotistical, even arrogant, but fundamentally, a good person. A better person than I could ever be. But never could I have expected to see her glare at me like that. Never could I have expected to see this kind of fire in her eyes. Never could I have expected to feel this kind of emotion from her. The emotion of outright _hatred_.

 _Behold the price of loyalty_ , the demon whispers.


	6. Honesty

.

 **My Little Pony: Sunset's Shimmer**

 **Chapter 6: Honesty**

Rainbow gets to her feet, and she still looks down on me. Both in height, and in gaze. The gaze that gave me pause after I interrupted her performance in order to save the band's chances. The gaze that keeps me to the ground as silence fills the gymnasium. Silence that endures, even as I slowly get to my feet. I see the other Rainbooms bar Fluttershy staring at me with a mixture of expressions. I see Celestia and Luna, whose expressions are of bemusement, followed by frowns and quick scribbling on their notepads.

 _They're not actually scoring the performance are they?_

But they are. I thought that by interrupting the performance, a redo would be allowed. But who am I kidding? They've already seen the Rainbooms be sabotaged once and not given a damn. Why should this time be any different?

So I stand there in the light, staring out into the darkness beyond the stage. Standing like a statue, yet my skin nothing like stone. Staring out into the gym, at the assembled school.

"Now that's the bad girl we love to hate!" Flash calls out.

His words open the floodgate, and the gym erupts in a cacophony of insults. All of them directed at me.

"I knew she was still trouble!"

"The real Sunset Shimmer is back!"

"Nice job breaking it hero!"

I stagger back, as if the words are indeed a surge of water. But through it all, I see Trixie, just standing there. Clapping slowly.

"Get off the stage loser!"

"Love your dance routine!"

I glance at my friends, who are already walking off the stage.

"No," I say. "It isn't like that."

But they can't hear me. Not my friends, not the crowd, barely even myself, such is the volume of hatred that's coming my way. Because that's what it is – hatred, and very loud, very abusive hatred at that. The green mist rises again, flowing at greater velocity and in greater volume to the sirens than ever before. I slink off stage and follow my friends – maybe the only thing I can do now is try to mitigate what harm I've done. I've kept the Rainbooms' magic a secret. But at what cost?

 _Come on silly girl, be honest with yourself._

Her voice is like a dagger in my mind, plunging through flesh and sound, piercing the haze of contempt the gym is generating. It's a haze that clears as I enter the wings, if only slightly.

"Great job," Spike mutters.

I glance down at him. He gives me a glare before he goes to join Twilight. Trying to keep myself steady, I shift my gaze to the Rainbooms, but I find no solace in their eyes either. Contempt, dislike, distrust, as if the last two months haven't happened. That we've not only gone back to zero, we've gone into negatives. Fluttershy looks worried. Rainbow, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie look angry. And Twilight? She gives me the worst gaze of all.

Disappointment.

I want to say something. Anything. Preferably say something that would count as an explanation. But Rainbow is the one who speaks first.

"What the heck was that all about?" she snarls, glaring at me.

"You were showing them your magic," I stammer. "I…I didn't know what to do."

"Close the curtains?" Rarity snaps. "Unplug her amp? Give us a chance to deal with the situation?"

"I'm sorry," I say. "I just wanted to help."

"Yeah, well, you didn't," Rainbow snaps.

 _She's right you know._

I barely hear her voice – the demon's, not Rainbow's. Rainbow's voice cuts through deeper than even the devil inside me - not just her words, but her tone. As if, on some level, she's enjoying this. But it fades, as Applejack confronts her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"None of this would have happened if you weren't tryin' to show off. As usual."

Rainbow gives her a shove. "Get your hands off me AJ."

"Hey!" Pinkie exclaims. "Don't you know it's not nice to-"

"I don't need your help Pinkie," Applejack snaps.

A cacophony envelops the Rainbooms, and I put a hand to my chin. They're ignoring me, but I feel no better for it.

"Ahem."

The bickering ends as quickly as it began though, broken by the sound of slow, steady footsteps, and even slower, steadier clapping. Trixie's arrived, smiling like a diamond dog that's found some gems.

"Good show, Rain _brooms_ ," she sneers, walking over towards me and putting her hands on my shoulders.

 _Get your hands off me._

"I especially liked the part where Sunset Shimmer-"

 _Don't go there._

"… in a fit of jealous rage-"

 _Trixie…_

"… knocked out Rainbow Dash mid-guitar solo."

"It wasn't a fit of jealous rage!" I yell, right into her face. She recoils from me in shock – is it my face? My words? Or that my fist is clenched?

 _Behold, the curtain is lifted._

I draw back, and look at my friends. Hoping that they'll back me up. That they understand how I was just trying to help them, and I'm not the same person who would have actually wanted to sabotage their performance. But they say nothing. Do nothing. And I'm left to ask, how could they believe me, when, after this little display, I don't even know if I believe myself?

 _Say it._

Maybe, on some level, it _was_ jealousy. Maybe, deep down, I'm no different from the girl I was two months ago. I turn back to Trixie, and she smirks.

"If you say so," she chuckles, before glancing to the end of the wings, where Celestia and Luna are going over their notes. "Ooh, looks like they've already decided who'll be moving on to the finals. I'm guessing it wasn't too difficult a decision."

If they're judging the Rainbooms' performance based on their…well, performance, and not accounting for disruptions to said performance, then, yes, I suppose it isn't too hard. Trixie and the Illusions were at least able to continue their piece. I feel tears coming to my eyes, but I shed none. I'm too tired for it. Too tired of water meeting air, to fall on earth. I'm just…tired. I just want it to end.

But it doesn't, as I see the Dazzlings emerge from the doors on the other end of the wings. As the principals stop their writing and look at the sirens as they sing. A simple tune, like the one they sung in the cafeteria. I frown, as I see the principals' eyes go blank – what are they up to? They've got the whole school in their thrall, Luna and Celestia included, what more could they need? I look at the Rainbooms, but they don't notice what's going on, and they're in no mood to hear anything I have to say.

"What can we do?" Rarity asks. "There isn't gonna be another opportunity for us to play. And I had the most gorgeous outfit for the finals."

"Yep, 'cause that's the real tragedy here, Rarity – that you won't get to play dress-up," Applejack snaps.

"You know perfectly well that's not what I meant!"

They look ready to come to blows, but it's Rainbow, of all people, who breaks them up. "You guys wanna keep it down? They're about to announce who's moving on."

"Who are you kidding? You know it's not gonna be us," Fluttershy says. She looks just like I feel. Unlike me, she's actually crying.

I can't contest her assessment. Nor can Trixie, as she stands there, applying makeup to her face. The sirens head out of the wings, while Luna and Celestia head on-stage. Celestia begins to speak.

"The band that will be joining the Dazzlings in tonight's finals is…"

Trixie begins to head on-stage.

"The Rainbooms!" Celestia declares.

"What?!" Trixie exclaims.

"What?" I ask.

"What?!" the Rainbooms blurt out.

 _What?_ The demon whispers.

 _What?_ Comes yet another voice.

"Did she just say the Rainbooms?" Pinkie asks.

Yeah, they did. No idea how, or why, but, somehow, we…I mean the Rainbooms…have made it to the finals.

Trixie storms past us like a banshee on the warpath. "This isn't over," she snarls.

Confused, the Rainbooms nonetheless walk onstage, a tidal wave of boos and jeers assaulting them. I stay put in the wings with Spike – I'm not part of the band, and there's no need to add fuel to the fire. In a rare moment of clarity, I watch as Luna gestures to the assembly to stop, and surprisingly, they do. Enough for Celestia to say in the most trance-like voice imaginable, "congratulations girls. You deserve it."

"Seriously?" Pinkie asks. "We didn't even finish our-"

Rainbow elbows her, and Pinkie shuts up. I smile, only to frown as I see the Dazzlings walk on from the other side of the stage. "See you at the big show, Rainbooms," Adagio says. "We're _really_ looking forward to it."

"Yeah, well, not as much as we are," Rainbow retorts awkwardly, even as the Dazzlings already head off-stage again. Her words are met with yet another tidal wave of boos from the crowd, even more vitriolic than last time.

"Zis never should haf been you, Rainbooms!"

"It should have been me!"

"Worst! Sister! Ever!"

It's Applebloom who says that. Applejack's sister. I don't how I pick out her voice, I just-

"Go back to the wardrobe Rarity it's all you're good at!"

And that's Sweetie Belle. Rarity's sister. Only days ago, they, along with Scootaloo, were painting a banner in this very gym. They looked at me with unease as I came to help them, but not with cruelty. Nothing like this.

I stay put in the wings as the Rainbooms head through the gym. Through the gauntlet of an entire school, while the principals just stand there, oblivious to the whirlwind before them. On one level, I'm relieved that I don't have to go through the maelstrom myself. But on the other, I'm frightened.

Frightened because there's no way the Rainbooms should have won. Frightened because I think the only reason they were allowed to progress to the finals was that the sirens wanted them to. Frightened because I can't think of any reason why the sirens would want that. To stir up the school? Maybe, it's the kind of negative energy they feed on, but they know we're on to them, why not just let us fail now?

So I stand there, in silence, deep in thought.

I can't even hear her voice this time.

* * *

 _Power…was all that I desired._

 _But all that grew inside me,_

 _Was a darkness I acquired._

 _When I began to fall,_

 _And I lost the path ahead._

 _That's when your friendship found me,_

 _And it lifted me instead._

 _Like a phoenix burning bright,_

 _In the sky._

 _I'll show there's another side to me,_

 _You can't deny._

The words are sung softly under my breath. Their sound is hollow, and they leave a bitter taste in my mouth. Because the debacle in the gym was only a few hours ago, and not only is my friendship with the Rainbooms as thin as a guitar string, my 'other side' might as well not exist in the eyes of the school. Still, as some consolation, their eyes won't be on me for the rest of the day. It's late afternoon, and I'm helping my friends set up their gear in the amphitheatre. Not just instruments, mind you, but amps, microphones, the lot. The entire school's going to be here after all, and they have to hear the song. Specifically, the counter-spell. It's just as well that the Rainbooms are playing first, because I don't want to imagine what damage the sirens could cause if the order was reversed.

So the Rainbooms set up their instruments, and I help them. Spike helps Pinkie look for a lost drumstick. Twilight is going over her notebook. Fluttershy is fixing her tambourine, Applejack tuning her bass, and Rarity idly playing irregular notes on her keytar. "Awkward" is the word I'd use to describe the scene before me – the girls look more interested in their instruments than each other, and a sense of unease permeates everything. I head over to an amp, and-

"Hey."

I spin around and see Rainbow heading towards me. It's a sight that causes a black hole to form in my stomach, yearning to swallow me up. Nonetheless, I force a smile.

"Hey."

She stops in front of me, awkwardly running a hand down her arm. "Listen," she says. "I, er…"

She trails off. I want to say something, but keep my mouth shut.

"Point is, I mean…I'm sorry for yelling at you."

I blink. "Huh?"

"About the whole stage thing," she continues. "I mean, I get that you were trying to cover for me, and, yeah, you could have done a better job, and you didn't, but, spur of the moment, and we're in the finals anyway, so, um, yeah. We're cool, right?"

She says all this very fast, but I smile nonetheless. "Thanks," I say. I hold out a hand. With a smaller smile, she nonetheless takes my palm, and shakes it firmly.

"Cool," she says. "I mean, it's cool that we're cool, and, well, yeah. Cool."

"Cool," I repeat.

"Awesome." She turns to her mike, but spins back at me. "Hey, did I hear you singing?"

"What?" I blurt out.

"Yeah, I thought I heard you singing something," she says. "Something about power, or something? I mean, you can't have too much power, but, I mean, it sounded good, and-"

"No," I say quickly. "I can't sing worth a damn."

"Huh." She raises an eyebrow, and I feel sweat trickle down my neck. "Coulda sworn…well, okay. But hey, don't be so hard on yourself." She pats me on the shoulder. "Say, could you give me a hand with the amp?"

"Sure," I say, and head over, while she heads back to the mic.

 _Why did you lie?_

I ignore the voice, even though it sounds more like my own, and not like the demon that's plagued me for the last two months.

 _Do you have an answer?_

I keep ignoring it. I can't sing, and even if I could, it wouldn't make any difference. The Rainbooms are going to sing Twilight's song, they're going to break the Dazzlings' spell, and everything will be back to normal. If I'm lucky, the school will forget my little escapade in the gym, and go back to hating me for the old, regular reasons that they had to despise me – attempted enslavement, bullying, lie-spreading, property damage, etc.

"Testing," Rainbow says, tapping her mic. "Testing…"

Absent-mindedly, I turn up the volume amplifier.

 **"** **Testing."**

Turn it up far too much, as an echo rocks out over the amphitheatre. I turn it down and grin sheepishly at them. I don't get any grins in return, but at the least, I don't get any accusations of me trying to sabotage the performance. So, hey – that counts as a victory, right? But that awkwardness that has been with us over the past few hours, and finally, it's Fluttershy who breaks it.

"This doesn't make any sense," she says. We all look at her. "We were awful. Doesn't anyone think it strange that we're the ones who made it to the finals?"

"Very strange," comes a voice.

All of our eyes turn to the source of it. It's Trixie, accompanied by the other two members of the Illusions. They look at us with a mixture of loathing and contempt. Basically par for the course at Canterlot High these days.

"What are you doing here Trixie?" Rainbow sneers. "Pretty sure the losers are supposed to be up there in the cheap seats."

I frown – did she really need to use the term 'losers?' Especially since that it makes no sense that the Rainbooms won? What happened to the Rainbow Dash of two minutes ago? Heck, what happened to the Rainbow Dash of two weeks ago? The Rainbow who wouldn't have to apologize for chewing me out, because she never would have done it in the first place?

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is the most talented girl in Canterlot High," Trixie declares, showing her penchant for theatrics and the ability to refer to herself in the third person. "It is I who deserves to be in the finals. And I will not be denied."

And she also shows her ability to not use conjunctions. Not to mention…wait…why are the other Illusions with the lever at the other side of the stage and-

 _Oh no._

They pull it. The centre of the stage opens up and we fall into the underground storage area, along with our instruments. All of us bar Spike, who's nowhere to be seen. Trixie cackles and kneels down at the edge of the trapdoor. "See you never," she sneers, waving a hand before the door closes. Leaving us in darkness, bar small slivers of light that make it through the door's cracks. Leaving us sprawled on the floor, helpless. Alone.

"Well," Rainbow says. "This sucks."

* * *

 _Ya better believe,_

 _I got tricks up my sleeve._

 _And I captivate_

 _'Cause I'm powerful and grea-ea-eat._

Trixie's music reaches us below the stage. We've been down here for a few hours, and she's been performing for a few minutes. Long enough to remind me that yes, the Great Powerful Trixie does have tricks up her sleeve, and it's because of those tricks that we're down here. Because of the illuminated stage, enough light makes it through the cracks for us to see each other, and the ten by eight room we're stuck in.

I look around the room – Pinkie and Applejack are lying on the ground, Fluttershy and Twilight are curled up in balls, and Rarity, while still standing, lets out a yawn. I'm seated as well, leaning against the wall. With only the whispers of a demon for company.

 _Failure._

It's been like this for hours. Her voice, over and over. Keeping me in place as I watch Rainbow shoulder-barge into the door again, in yet another attempt to open it. It works as well as the other thousand times – a door that's still in place, and a sore shoulder. I watch as she rubs it after her latest attempt.

"Give it up, Rainbow Dash," Applejack calls out. "You've been tryin' at this for hours. It's not gonna open."

Rainbow glares at her before returning her gaze to the door. Rainbow's headstrong, but that doesn't translate into physical strength – not enough to barge through a locked door at least. And yet, I think to myself, what else can we do?

 _Nothing. You failed._

"Maybe it doesn't even matter that we're trapped down here," Twilight murmurs, getting to her feet. "I don't think the counter-spell was even going to work."

"Course it would've worked Twilight," says Applejack. "Assumin' a certain band member didn't try to hog the spotlight the whole time we were tryin' to play it."

"Hey!" Rainbow snaps. "If you want to tell Twilight she's getting a little too caught up in trying to be the new leader of this band, you don't have to be all cryptic about it."

"She was talking about you, Rainbow Dash," Rarity snarls.

I see Twilight back away. I don't blame her.

 _Say something._

"Me?" Rainbow asks. "I'm just trying to make sure my band rocks as hard as it needs to."

"Our band!" the girls yell.

 _This is wrong._

 _Stay away._

 _Enough._

 _Quiet!_

There's a maelstrom of voices in my head, their howls matched only by the commotion that erupts among the girls - Rarity and Applejack on one side of the argument, Rainbow on the other. Yet my eyes drift to Twilight, who's in the corner again.

"But why wasn't it working?" she rambles. "I should know what to do. How could I not know what to do? How could I have failed like this?"

I want to help her, but-

"It might've been your idea to _start_ a band, but it's not just _your_ band, Rainbow Dash!" Applejack yells.

But the argument is continuing, and-

"I'm the one who writes all the songs!" Rainbow retorts.

Now Fluttershy steps in. "I write songs! You just never let us play any of them!"

" _I_ had the most perfect outfits for us to wear!" Rarity adds.

Applejack glares at her. "Again with the costumes! No one cares what we're wearin'!"

" _I_ care, Applejack! So sorry if I enjoy trying to make a creative contribution to the band!"

 _This has to stop._

That voice. I hear it again, and for a moment, I start to act on it. I step forward, towards the ruckus, and-

"Hey! Anybody here remember fun?! I'll give you a hint: **It's the exact opposite of being in the Rainbooms!"**

Pinkie has stepped in. Screaming like a maniac, and waving her arms like one as well. I take two steps back.

"I wish I never asked any of you to be in my band!" Rainbow yells.

"I wish I'd never agreed to be in it!" cries Rarity.

"Me neither!" yell Applejack and Fluttershy together.

"Um, guys?" I whisper.

They don't hear me. They don't even see me. They're arguing amongst themselves, all five of them. They're not even taking sides, as it becomes a free for all of who can be the most vicious. Applejack, the hillbilly. Rarity, the prissy who's obsessed with fashion. Fluttershy the coward, Pinkie Pie the insane one, Rainbow the…well, many things, none of them good. Their voices echo throughout the room, wrapping around me like malignant mist.

 _And behold how it ends,_ comes the voice of one I know all too well. _With a bang, while you whimper._

I glance at Twilight, who's now got her arms wrapped around her legs, her face to the ground. Uncaring of the anger that's on display before her.

 _How did this happen?_

That voice is my own. Not the demon's, not the other one that's kept nudging at me for the last few hours, mine. And I don't have an answer to it. Any more than I do have an answer as to whether the she-demon that's haunted me for the last two months is really a distinct entity, or whether I'm just outright insane. I suppose I'll never find out at this rate – maybe if I'm lucky, before the sirens enslave this world, I can make it back to Equestria and-

 _Coward!_

That voice. It's not hers, and it's not mine. I guess I really am on the path of insanity.

I see the girls arguing, the intensity of their argument getting more so by the second. I see anger. Rage. Contempt. And worst of all, I see a mist coming out of them. Five streams, rising through the cracks in the stage door above us. The same mist that I saw in the cafeteria and the gym. That horrible green mist that only the Rainbooms and I seem to be aware of.

Except…it's not green. I mean, it is, sort of, but the greenness is secondary, and it isn't even uniform. From each of the Rainbooms, the mist is mixed with a different colour. From Applejack, orange. Fluttershy, yellow. Pinkie's is pink, while for Rarity and Rainbow, it's white and blue respectively. Five streams of mist, pouring up through the ceiling, as Trixie finishes her song. Yet I don't think she's behind this. Because it isn't long before I hear another sound, namely that of the Dazzlings. An actual siren's call, as they begin their song, not that different to when they sung to Celestia in the gym, or the students in the cafeteria. But it's louder. Beautiful, even. But horrifying, as I see the mist swirl and turn into smaller, more directed streams. Going towards them. Feeding them.

 _Say something._

I bite my lip…it's not my place, but-

 _Be quiet._

I can't help them.

 _Liar._

But if I could-

 _Be honest._

Maybe-

 _Silly girl._

I shouldn't-

 _Useless! You can't sing, you can't play, you're not in a band for a reason, you have no friends, you'll never be liked, so for goodness sake, don't rock the boat!_

It's not my place to say, and-

 _Enough!_

For a second, I see the girls arguing.

A second later, I see something else.

* * *

 _"_ _Sunset."_

 _I know that voice, and I'm afraid. I know, in the darkness of my mind, that it is not the body of a human that holds me, but of my normal pony self. I know the mirror that's in front of me is the same mirror that led me to this world all those years ago. And I fear what I may see inside it._

 _"_ _Come to me."_

 _This isn't the first time I've found myself in my old body. Insanity has a strange sense of humour I guess. But nonetheless, I step forward on all four hooves – how could I disobey one who bears my own voice?_

 _"_ _Look."_

 _I'm at the mirror, but I glance aside. I can't be here. The demon has haunted my dreams and my waking hours, but she's never been so powerful as to pull me out of the waking world. I need to get out of here, to help my friends._

You've lost. You can't help them.

 _Yeah, that's true I guess. I failed them. The sirens are going to win, and-_

 _"_ _Look at me!"_

 _I let out a yell, as the mirror lets out a burst of light. I shield my eyes with a hoof, its touch feeling alien against my hair. I can't. I won't._

 _"_ _Look at me," the voice says, more softly this time._

 _Slowly, I lower my hoof. By my will, or that of the mirror, I can't say. But as my eyes fall upon its glass once more, I feel hatred well within me. This damn mirror cost me everything. This mirror is in another world that I exiled myself from. Why would it return to taunt me now? Nevertheless, my eyes fall upon its surface, and I stare._

 _It's not the demon. It's me._

 _I stumble backwards, but in the void that is my mind, I'm not sure that distance means anything. I notice that the image in the mirror doesn't match my movements, but it's still me. Sunset Shimmer. Unicorn. Normal. Looking at me in sorrow._

 _"_ _Did you expect someone else?" she asks._

Don't answer her.

 _"_ _This is your mind," the image says. "Will you listen to her, or to yourself?"_

 _"_ _What are you?" I whisper._

 _"_ _You know the answer," she says. "And you know what I'm not."_

 _I do – she isn't the alicorn I saw all those years ago. That vision of myself – a future self, now lost to infinity._

 _"_ _Was it you?" I ask. "The other thing I saw that day?"_

 _"_ _You know the answer."_

 _"_ _I don't. I don't know anything!"_

 _"_ _You do. You can't lie here."_

 _"_ _I…I suppose…" I sigh. "Maybe I saw nothing, when Celestia took me away from the mirror. Maybe I saw this world. Canterlot High. But I…" I take a breath, remembering the nightmare of two nights past. "I can't have seen her."_

 _"_ _Who?"_

 _"_ _The…thing that's been with me since the Fall Formal." I take a step towards the mirror. "And I don't know who you are either. Or why I'm even here."_

 _"_ _You're here," says the other me, "because on some level, you know what you have to do. Both in your mind, and outside it."_

 _"_ _Do what?" I snap._

 _"_ _You know the answer."_

 _"_ _You've said that already!"_

 _"_ _I say only what you already know."_

 _She just stands there in the mirror. My alter ego. My id. Or some other nonsense. I guess the only reason I'm here is that I know I've failed so terribly, that retreating into my mind is the only recourse I have left. I turn away from her, and-_

 _"_ _So good to see you."_

 _See_ her _, rise in front of me, crawling out from the darkness as if from Tartarus itself. The demon. I take a step back._

 _"_ _You can't run," she whispers. "Not in here. Not in my domain."_

 _"_ _It isn't your domain," says my voice from the mirror._

 _"_ _You know it to be true, don't you?" the demon sneers. It's only now that I can appreciate how large she is compared to me. As a human, she was already taller thn me. In here, she remains as tall, and as a pony, I stand at a mere three feet. I let out a whimper._

Don't give in.

 _My voice, in my own mind. Whispering. As if it's the intruder here._

 _"_ _Come now," the demon says, grinning. "You know that you've lost. And-"_

 _"_ _What are you?" I say._

 _The demon blinks. "What?"_

 _"_ _What are you?" I repeat._

 _"_ _Me?" The demon smirks, yet her lip trembles. "I'm the manifestation of your failure. I'm the spawn of the Crown of Harmony, when you put it on your damn head. I'm you, in flesh and bone."_

 _"_ _Only in my mind."_

 _"_ _Everywhere you go, you see me," she says, taking a step forward. "You hear me in your ear, you feel me in your breast. I'm your spawn, and you'll never be rid of me. The Elements of Harmony have a power beyond anything you can conceive, and you, silly girl, thought you could harness it." The demon sniggers. "Defeated, you might call me, but what is defeat next to vindication?"_

 _"_ _I-"_

 _She strikes me, and I let out a yell, as her claws tear through my cheek. I gaze up through the darkness, as she rises. Triumphant. Resplendent. Resurgent._

Resurgent?

 _She's there, above me. With me. But I…_

It wasn't always so.

 _I look back at the mirror. I see me, looking at…me._

 _"_ _You know what she is," the image says. "What I am."_

 _"_ _Enough!" the demon yells, enraged. Or…in fear?_

 _"_ _You know why she's afraid," the image continues._

 _"_ _Why?" I whisper._

 _"_ _Be quiet!"_

 _"_ _Her fear is yours," the image says. "Fear of rejection. Fear of loss. Fear of isolation. Fear, in place of anger. What is she but you?"_

 _The demon hisses, but I barely hear her. All I hear is the sound of my own voice._

 _"_ _Even now you're afraid," my mirror image says. "But you're nearly there. You know why it's yourself you see here."_

 _"_ _Why?" I ask._

 _"_ _Silly girl," the demon says. "You're meant to know, are you not?"_

 _My mirror self nonetheless answers. "Once, not too long ago, you would have seen upon this glass what you saw three years ago. You, an alicorn princess. A ruler. Alone. Now, what do you see but a normal unicorn?"_

 _"_ _Useless," the demon sneers. "Weak."_

 _"_ _I see you," I say, walking up to the mirror. "But I…I don't know if…"_

 _"_ _You do know," the mirror image says. "You know, but you're afraid. You know that you've done terrible things, but you've held yourself back, never believing you could not let your past define you. You know that you can sing, but you hold back, even as your own song is telling you what you need to hear. You can play the guitar, but you never even mention it for fear of rejection. You know that you're capable of generosity and kindness, yet you put yourself down every time. The Rainbooms are your friends, yet until recently, you hesitated to even call them as such, believing yourself unworthy. But you've laughed with them. Shown loyalty to them. Helped them every step of the way, even as they let their own demons consume them."_

 _"_ _And failed them," my demon says._

 _"_ _No," the mirror pony says. "You know exactly what you have to say. You know what's going on right now, outside your mind. Generosity, kindness, friendship, laughter, loyalty. You know you're capable of all of that. Now, all that remains is for you to be honest. To be honest with them. Be honest with yourself."_

 _"_ _Honest with myself," I mutter. My eyes widen, and finally, I see._

 _"_ _You," I whisper. "You're me."_

 _"_ _You. Me." I…she…sighs. "Two months, you've been haunted by yourself. Two months, I've waited. I…her…" she says, nodding at the demon. "You know what we are. And now that you know, you can cast her out."_

 _"_ _Never," the demon snarls._

 _"_ _Never indeed," I…or she, says. "Never again will you see yourself as an alicorn. But at last, you've accepted that. You see yourself in the mirror, not vain ambition. You've accepted the ill that you've done, and that some doors can never be re-opened. But new ones can open for you, even while those behind remain forever closed. Now it's time to accept that there are those in this world, and in another, that have forgiven you. All that's left is to forgive yourself."_

 _The demon says nothing. My mirror self says nothing. I, alone in my mind, say nothing. But now, in the dark, at the eleventh hour…I understand. I turn to the demon and finally see her for what she is. She bears her teeth, her forked tongue behind them, but it's too late. Maybe she'll always be here, in my mind. Waiting to spring out. Maybe I'll never be rid of her. But I don't have to heed or acknowledge her._

 _"_ _I'll always be here," she whispers._

 _"_ _Maybe," I say. "But down in the dark is the only place you'll ever be."_

 _I turn to the mirror and see myself. I take a step towards it, and for the first time, the image mirrors my own movements. I smile, and see it reflected. I recall her now – in my dream. The one who was there, just before I woke. The one who'll always be here, in the dark, providing a final light. The light that's in all of us, to keep our darkness in check. In me, in the Rainbooms, in everyone. The one light I have to find in them, now that I've found it in myself. Like magic, almost. Or friendship._

 _"_ _I'm ready," I say._

* * *

I blink, and find myself back in the room.

I can still hear the sirens singing and my friends arguing. I can still see the mist pouring up through the cracks in the ceiling. I don't know how long I've been gone, if at all – I once read that one's mind works faster when dreaming. Even if some feel like they last a lifetime. But, I think to myself, I can't have been gone that long – the sirens are still singing without words, so they must be at their song's intro. And sure enough, the mist is still feeding them. So I take a breath, as I prepare myself – everything's clear to me now. Like a mirror.

"Stop!" I yell.

Even if I risk breaking it.

"You have to stop," I continue. "This is what they've been after all along! They're feeding off of the magic inside you!"

The Rainbooms stop arguing and look at me with looks ranging from bemusement to contempt. I can still see the mist coming from them, if not as rapidly.

"How can they be using our magic? It's the magic of friendship," Applejack says, frowning.

I take a breath, as fear once again touches my heart. I glance at Twilight, who's still sitting in the corner, and gives me a bemused look. Turning back to the Rainbooms, I tell myself that I have to be honest. Have to be firm. I have to, at last, speak up. For the mist is there, and if I screw this up, it's going to come out a lot faster, and a lot harder.

"Listen," I begin. "Ever since you started this band, you've been letting little things get to you. I mean, you were great at first, and guys, you are great. Really great. But ever since the Dazzlings showed up, it's gotten worse." I cast my gaze over all of them. "Which songs to play. Who was leading. Who was lagging behind. Cracks, spreading through all of you. Which led you here. Left you broken."

They keep staring at me in silence.

"I never said anything because I didn't feel it was my place," I continue. "Not when I'm so new to this whole friendship thing. Not after all I did." I briefly close my eyes, preparing for backlash – none comes my way. Only the sirens pierce my mind. A mind that's now bereft of _her_.

"I know I still have a lot to learn," I say, opening my eyes once more. "But I do know that if you don't work out even the smallest problems right at the start, the magic of friendship can be turned into something else."

I want to say "something ugly," but I bite my tongue. The Rainbooms are still looking at me, but the faces are different. Embarrassment. Shame. I don't say "ugly," because none of them could be called that. Not on the outside, and despite all that's happened, not on the inside either. For I realize now, that we all have our demons. And the last thing I could live with is to let any of my friends fall to theirs, as I did. Rainbow, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy…yes, friends. Now. Forever. I smile, and see that at last, the mist is gone. For a brief moment, the Dazzlings falter in their song.

Twilight gets to her feet and walks up to us. "I can't believe all this tension was happening right under my nose and I didn't realize it," she says. "I'm supposed to be the one with all the answers. And all I've done since I got here is let you down."

I hesitate, before putting a hand on her shoulder. "I don't think anyone is supposed to have all the answers," I say. "But you can count on your friends to help you find them.

I gesture to the Rainbooms, my friends, and they smile. So does Twilight. I remain silent, and think of what I didn't say. That I know what it's like to think that you're at the top. That never seeking answers elsewhere will only leave you alone. But as grim a reminder of my past as that is, for me now, it's a piece of comfort. Knowledge that I'll never go down my path again. And that I may have saved my friends from falling to their demons as well.

"I think you already have found the answer," Twilight says. "Come on. We need to get out of here."

We get into formation, all seven of us. Ready to break down the door. Rainbow couldn't do it alone. But as seven, we can't be stopped. As seven, I know that we can do this. As seven, as one, we charge…and fall onto our feet as the damn door won't give way.

 _Damn it!_

This isn't right. I can still hear the sirens singing, and if we don't get out soon, we-

"Hey guys."

That's Spike. Standing at the door. The door that just opened for us from the outside.

"Spike!" Twilight exclaims, hugging him.

"Sorry I took so long," he explains. "I had to find somebody who wasn't under the sirens' spell to help you out."

He gestures to DJ Pon, who appears in the doorway as well. The girl I saw in the courtyard earlier today.

"Why isn't she under their spell?" Twilight asks.

Yeah, I'm wondering the same thing. I mean, she didn't appear affected then, she doesn't appear affected now, and-

"Never takes off her headphones," Spike grins.

 _Oh._

DJ Pon smiles and gives us the thumbs up. She seems unusually okay with the whole 'talking dog, evil singers, swirling green mist of doom' thing, but hey, I'm not complaining. Two months ago she was in my zombie army, so I guess this is a step down in insanity for her.

"Come on y'all," Applejack says. "Time to prove we've still got the magic of friendship inside us."

"And there's only one way to do it," Twilight adds.

"We're getting the band back together?" Pinkie asks.

"No," says Rainbow. "We're getting _our_ band back together."

The Rainbooms begin collecting their instruments, and start taking them to DJ Pon's car. When I ask as to why, she only gives it a tap, and gestured to a nearby hill.

"Can't we play in the theatre?" I say.

She shakes her head.

I take her at her word (well, if that counts as a "word" I guess) – don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Yeah, that's a saying here – luckily gift ponies aren't a thing in Equestria. Well, mostly.

"But the counter-spell," Rarity says suddenly, as DJ Pon loads Pinkie's drums. "Which version are we going to play? You had us rehearse quite a few versions as I recall."

"Yeah, I did," Twilight says, glancing at me for a moment. "But I don't think it matters. All that matters is that whatever we play, we play together. As friends. That we give it our all, and don't hold back."

The Rainbooms nod, as do I. We all get it. Even Rainbow, who says, "in that case, I know just the song."

Applejack rolls her eyes, and-

"Fluttershy's written a really great song," Rainbow says. "I think it's about time that we play it."

Fluttershy looks at Rainbow as if Christmas has come early. Applejack, meanwhile, is looking at Rarity. "One more thing," she says. "We're about to save the world here. I think we should do it in style. Rarity?"

Rarity now looks like Christmas has come early too. "I thought you'd never ask," she exclaims, before pulling out a clothing rack, containing six costumes. One for each of the Rainbooms. She must have worked on them despite the drama, and stored them here just in case the girls wanted to use them.

There's something that hits me in all this – the idea of saving the world. I don't know if that's true – the town, maybe, but the world? I can't say, but I won't deny how high the stakes are. But that's not what hits me. Not even as we drive off in DJ Pon's car, not as we still hear the sirens. No. It's how that, for the first time in years, despite all that's happened, and all that's happening, I feel at ease.

I feel at home.

* * *

Standing on a hill overlooking the amphitheatre, that feeling of ease isn't as prominent anymore. Nor is the idea that the world itself might not be at stake.

A green mist covers all of Canterlot, and the amphitheatre is at its centre. Streams of mist make their way to the stage – a heart of darkness that's surrounded by neon lights. All roads lead to Canterlot, I reflect, thinking of the Canterlot of my world – the capital of Equestria, not some backwater. But this world has a similar saying – "all roads lead to Rome." It isn't comforting, as in this world, Rome burnt. I can see why DJ Pon thought it best to take us to Horsehead Hill, rather than have us duke it out in the amphitheatre.

So the Rainbooms and I stand on the hill, looking down in dismay at the amphitheatre. The entire school standing their motionless, enraptured. Even from here, we can hear the sirens – up until now, their song has been nothing but a hymn, not that different from when they sang to Celestia. Or a requiem, I reflect – a requiem given by a shark before devouring its prey, smiling as only a shark could.

 _Welcome to the show._

 _We're here to let you know._

 _Our time is now._

 _Your time is running out._

And the sirens sing as only they can. The lyrics don't matter, not their implications. All that matters are their voices – beautiful. Horrible. Enrapturing. Repulsive. Monophonic music, with polyphonic meaning. A sonata well on its way to the coda.

"How are we supposed to play over them from up here?" Rainbow asks.

DJ Pon's car rolls up with the honk of its horn. It stops, and begins to transform. My eyes widen as I realize that it isn't just a car, it's a portable sound system – lights, records, speakers, everything. The girls cheer – I'm happy too, but all that's running through my mind right now is _what the heck?_

But we can't afford to look a gift pony in the mouth right now. Not that I'd want to look a gift pony in the mouth, since that comes from a darker period of Equestira's history than I care to recall. But as the Rainbooms set up their instruments, and I turn my gaze back to the amphitheatre, I'm reminded of slavery nonetheless. Because the crowd is still standing there, motionless – it's the most quiet concert I've ever seen. And also the only concert I've ever seen where I've actually _seen_ sound. Bands of red light, thrumming into the air, only to come crashing down on the audience. The Dazzlings seem to be on it as well.

 _Feel the wave of sound,_

 _As it crashes down._

 _You can't turn away,_

 _We'll make you wanna sta-a-a-ay._

There's a flash of red light, and I realize it must have come from their amulets. I see how the three Dazzlings levitate into the air, still singing, the crowd still in their thrall, oblivious to the display of magic in front of them. Oblivious to the wording of their death sentence.

 _We will be adored._

 _Tell us that you want us._

 _We won't be ignored._

 _It's time for our reward._

Oblivious to the bat-like wings that grow out of the sirens' bodies. Of how their teeth grow longer and sharper.

 _Now you need us._

 _Come and heed us._

 _Nothing can stop us now._

I look at Twilight and the band. They're set up, and ready to rock, in every sense of the word. I give her a nod, and she returns it. As one, the Rainbooms begin to sing Fluttershy's song for the first time. A song they all knew, but only now, does it have voice given to it.

 _Oh-oh, oh-whoa-oh,_

 _I've got the music in me._

 _Oh-oh, oh-whoa-oh._

The sirens falter, their song grinding to a halt – no doubt they weren't expecting this. It's become a real battle of the bands, and Twilight's leading the charge.

 _Don't need to hear a crowd,_

 _Cheering out my name._

 _I didn't come here seeking,_

 _Infamy or fame._

I can see movement in the amphitheatre – the music is working. Already more powerful than any counter-spell – all the girls had to do was sing.

 _The one and only thing,_

 _That I am here to bring,_

 _Is music, is the music,_

 _Is the music in my soul!_

Bar DJ Pon, who's playing her turntables in the background, the girls begin to 'pony up.' The thing we've been trying to avoid over the past few days now flows as naturally as the melody. From each of the girls, a tail and ears. From Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow, wings as well. But the difference is academic, as all of them bar Pinkie rise into the air (such is the weight of her drums). Each of them glowing with their element of harmony. Each radiant, and not just from Rarity's costumes.

 _Gonna break out (Out!),_

 _Set myself free, yeah._

 _Let it all go (Go!),_

 _Just let it be, yeah._

Nor is it just the lyrics.

 _Find the music in your heart,_

 _Let the music make you start,_

 _To set yourself apart._

It's that finally, they're willing to just sing. But the Dazzlings aren't giving up.

 _What we have in store,_

 _All we want and more,_

 _We will break on through,_

 _Now it's time to finish you!_

The sirens sing as well, if what they're doing can be described as 'singing.' I feel a chill run down my spine, and sweat collect on my neck. Their words become nothing more than a siren's call – a scream, almost. Louder and louder, increasing in pitch. I let out a gasp, as there's a flash of red light, and the night sky turns the same colour. As the flash fades, and I see the amphitheatre in horrible, terrifying clarity. The Dazzlings are still there, levitating. But above each of them is a different creature – one gold, one violet, one cerulean. Each of them looking bearing hooves, fins, and fangs. Like dragons, but much smaller. Yet even more horrifying. For these are the sirens in their own forms, separate from their human shells.

"Astral projection," I murmur.

Only Twilight would understand the meaning of that – the Rainbooms have fallen silent, so chances are, she might have even heard me say it. Either way, she no doubt understands what we're…or _they're_ …up against. In this world, where magic doesn't work like it does in Equestria, the sirens have broken the rules. They've revealed not only their real forms, but have used astral projection, a feat that would be beyond all but the most powerful magic users in my world. They must have absorbed so much energy from the school, that they can still accomplish this.

So while Adagio Dazzle, Sonata Dusk, and Aria Blaze hover above the stage, their projections fly towards us. Circle us, like the shark I was reminded of earlier. The Rainbooms begin playing again though, uncowed – not sing, mind you, just play, as loudly as they can, while still keeping a melody. Sound barrels towards the sirens – actual physical sound. Each of it a different shape and colour, depending on their instrumentalist. I kneel down and cover my ears – it feels like my ear drums are about to burst. A fire dances behind my eyes, as light and sound mix in the air around me. If this can still be called a battle of the bands, it's entered the melee phase – where tactics are thrown to the wind, and all that matters is brute force. And deep down, I feel…useless. A peasant caught between two armies. Without weapon or armour, who can only hope to survive.

 _Useless._

I hear her voice again. Even now, in this maelstrom, I hear her.

But only for a moment, as I see the golden siren (Adagio, by my reckoning), let out a scream – I feel like screaming myself, as one of my ears begins to bleed. Red energy rings come from her mouth, and the Rainbooms once again falter. Daring to open my eyes, I see her fellow sirens line up alongside her. All of three of them let out a barrage – there's a melody, somewhere, in that hell. But it's discordant. Horrible. And so powerful that I see dust being blown away, and the Rainbooms be pushed back in the hurricane.

 _No._

They're faltering. Falling. Stumbling.

 _Not like this._

The sirens sing…no, _scream_ , even louder.

 _We can't lose! Not now!_

It occurs to me that there is no "we," that all I've done for the last five minutes is stand on the sidelines. But only briefly, as I can ill afford self-pity right now. Not as the Rainbooms fall down into the dirt, defeated. Pinkie's drums and DJ Pon's sound system are still standing, but even so, what can they do? Seven band members have failed to stop the sirens, and five of them have literally been knocked off their feet. Twilight even loses her microphone, losing her grip on it, causing it to fly through the air. Landing down in the dirt. Rolling towards my feet.

 _Pick it up._

I do so – why now, I wonder, do I hear those voices again? Why now, when so much actual sound is around me? I stare at it, the device feeling alien to my hands. I hold it close, unwilling to let it go, unable to do the unthinkable.

"Sunset, we need you!" Twilight calls out.

Unable to act, when Twilight has requested something that won't make a difference. The sirens have won, and as their astral forms hover in the air above us, grinning, I can tell that they know it. Canterlot will fall. The world will fall. Equestria too might fall. We've failed. _I've_ failed. And all I've got to even try to avert that fate is one single microphone and-

 _Sing._

Whose word is that, I wonder? I can't tell anymore. Maybe soon, it won't matter. But as I glance at the Rainbooms, my friends, I realize that I have no choice. Generosity, kindness, loyalty, honesty, and laughter – they've given it all to me. Most importantly, given me their friendship. I can only do the same for them.

So with microphone in hand, I walk forward. I toss my jacket aside, and stand tall, the wind in my hair. I face the visages of three sirens, all of them wearing the mask of a demon. Somewhere, within me, is a demon of another kind, waiting for any opportunity to surface. I know, at this moment, as light and sound become one, however this may end, that she'll never take hold of me again. All that's left is one final act.

To sing.


	7. Redemption

.

 **My Little Pony: Sunset's Shimmer**

 **Chapter 7: Redemption**

 _You're never gonna bring me down._

 _You're never gonna break this part of me._

 _My friends are here to bring me 'round._

 _Not singing just for popularity._

I know the chorus to Fluttershy's song – I was never a member of the Rainbooms, but they were still willing to let me read their lyrics. I've never sung Fluttershy's song before. But as I do so…it's like a dam, I reflect. The dam is open, now comes the flood. But does it purify, or destroy? The sirens hover in the sky above us. Puzzled, confident, I can't tell. But they're not singing. I am. And I continue to sing as I help Twilight to her feet.

 _We're here to let you know,_

 _That we won't let it go,_

 _Our music is a bomb and it's about to blow._

The Rainbooms get to their feet as well and begin to play again. In the sky above us, the sirens' projections swoop down, like pegasai, but with the malice of demons. Yet as I look up, I realize that I feel no dread. No fear. The sound of music flows, and once again becomes one with light. Three demons up above me – what are they to what I've faced already?

 _And you can try to fight,_

 _But we have got the light of_

 _Friendship on our side!_

We continue to sing, but that's not all that happens. A rainbow shoots out in a horizontal arc – it knocks back the sirens' projections. It washes over the crowd in the amphitheatre. In the distance, I see how the Dazzlings themselves stagger from the force of the blast. Why now, I wonder? Why do we give them pause now, when all that's changed is the presence of my voice? I can't answer such questions, but right now, in this moment, I cease to ask them. All I do is sing. Because I have to. Because I want to. Because I enjoy it. Because…because…

It's happening.

I'm rising into the air as golden light envelops my body. At first, I feel fear – this isn't the first time I've transformed in this world, and the last time I did so, it was into a monster no less foul than the sirens that even now, are trying to get to us. I rose in a pillar of black and white light after I put the Crown of Harmony on my head. Teeth became fangs, hands became claws, and a demon was born. I fought against it then, but failed. I cried, I railed against the bitter wind that blew, but it came to nothing. I fought, and failed.

This time, I let it happen. I close my eyes, and let the music wash over me. Sound and light mix, and I let them do so – without fear, without resistance, without regret. In this moment, bathed in the light of a small sun, all roads lead here. To me. Without shame, I see my ears grow. Without remorse, a my hair forms into a mane, long and lush. I 'pony up.' No different than the Rainbooms, and no less than them. All six of us rise into the air, as the song bursts out from all of us. Before us, the sirens are nothing. Before my eyes, I see the entire school united in song. The mist is gone, the world is clear. And all we have to do is sing. Sing, and form the rainbow, this time shooting into the sky. Not a rainbow made from the refraction of light against water, but from the light inside us all. None of our demons lay claim to it. Yellow, orange, blue, white, and pink beams shoot upwards, this time joined by the colours of purple and red. From it forms a giant alicorn made of light. Like a constellation, and indeed, its shining horn points up to the night sky, while a rainbow mane extends from its neck. For at last, we can see the stars again, as the red miasma the sirens cast over this area begins to clear. It stands there, on a cloud, as if Celestia herself had come to this world, bringing a new sun.

Do I feel regret, seeing this creature? The symbol of what I can never be? A reminder of the teacher and friend I spurned all those years ago? This manifestation of friendship and magic, light given form, standing high above us all?

No. I just sing with my friends. The song reaches its end, and from the creature's horn comes a stream of white light. It envelops the Dazzlings' astral projections, and vaporizes them. It envelops the Dazzlings themselves – I can't see what's happening, but as quickly as the creature formed, it disappeared. Our song has ended. Night has returned, but it's with joy that I realize that Canterlot will still be able to see the dawn.

We stand there, in silence, as we all peer towards the stage. I think the sirens are trying to sing. "Trying" being the operative word here, because I can't hear anything. Well, not from them at least. What I _can_ hear however, is a tidal wave of boos from the crowd – whatever they're hearing, they're not enjoying it. And as I squint through the gloom, I see the sirens run off the stage. I should be happy, but seeing such humiliation…I pity them. Pity them because humiliation is never pleasant, and I know what it's like to be the figure of ridicule. Pity them, but not so much that I can't feel joy in what we accomplished.

"So," Rainbow says eventually. "Did we win?"

I give her a hug. "Yeah," I say. "We won."

* * *

"Rainbooms rock!"

Was that a compliment? Yes, I think it was. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to receive a compliment, since the last few days haven't been the right atmosphere for such pleasantries, and for me personally, neither have the last two months. Heck, even the last three years, I had to scheme and bully my way to get compliments half the time. But, yes, the crowd is cheering - DJ Pon aside, we've returned to our human forms and along with Spike, marched down from Horsehead Hill to the amphitheatre, the crowd cheering us all the way.

 _Us_ , I reflect, as the other Rainbooms wave to the crowd. It feels good to be able to use that word. But as much as I'd love to bask in the spotlight, my eyes are nonetheless cast downward. Because there's three piles of shattered ruby here – they must be the remains of the sirens' amulets. I pick up one of the larger pieces.

"Guess this explains why these were so special to them," I say.

"Without those pendants and the magic you brought here from Equestria, they're just three harmless teenage girls," adds Twilight.

I frown for a moment – "harmless." I can only hope that's the case. If experience has taught me anything, you don't need magic to ruin peoples' lives. But we've saved Canterlot High, Canterlot itself, and perhaps the world. For now, I can bask in that victory, as the crowd continues to cheer. So the frown fades, and is replaced by a smile.

"Rainbooms rule! That was amazing!"

A smile that widens as I see Flash make his way onto the stage, running at the speed of a stallion, and hugging Twilight with the strength of an ursa major. The Rainbooms and I snigger, but they fade, as I see the embrace become less strong, but more tender. As I think that now that the Dazzlings' spell is lifted, and Twilight no longer has to worry about them, these two can finally realize another kind of magic. I mean, the way they blush, the way they kinda-sorta-maybe look at each other but don't, the way they nonetheless edge closer and-

"You may have vanquished the Dazzlings, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

 _Damn it!_

Yep, there she is. Popping up right in front of them, pushing them apart, showing that siren spells may come and go, but Trixie remains Trixie. That includes her throwing down a smoke bomb, leaving us all coughing.

"She's gone!" Pinkie exclaims. "Oh wait, there she is."

There she is indeed, climbing over the backstage wall, before tumbling. "Trixie's okay," she calls out, leaving the crowd laughing.

"Y'know," Rainbow says. "Someone's gotta teach her a lesson someday."

"Oh, she'll learn," Twilight says. "She just needs to be given a chance."

For a moment, her eyes meet mine. She nods, and with a smile, I return it. I can only hope that before this is over, she and Flash will get to sing _Love in a Flash_ together. Or something.

But Trixie's ruined the moment, as Flash awkwardly says his goodbyes – the school begins to file out of the amphitheatre, guided by Luna and Celestia. So, I wonder, did we win the battle of the bands, or did the Illusions? Maybe come next week we'll get answers to that – it's Friday night, and I think everyone will want to take it easy over the weekend. Myself included.

"You know, Twilight is going back to Equestria soon," says Rainbow, looking at me. "The Rainbooms could really use someone to help Fluttershy on backup vocals."

I grin, and pick up a guitar, playing a quick riff. Months of practice coming to fruition, the music flowing without fear or regret. It only lasts a few seconds, but given the looks of shock on the girls' faces, one might have thought I'd played an entire soundtrack.

"I also play guitar," I say.

"We'll see," Rainbow says. For a moment, I fear that it isn't enough. That _she_ was right all along. But only for a moment, as the girls hug me. As one group. As one band. I smile, as for the first time in months, I no longer hear her voice.

Finally, for the first time in years, I feel loved.

* * *

It's Saturday afternoon, and Twilight is about to leave.

I have a feeling that if Saturday were a school day, Canterlot High would have been closed regardless – with the school recovering from the Dazzlings' spell, no-one's in the mood to get straight back to classes. So, we've got the school grounds to ourselves. Long enough to jam out some tunes – all eight of us. It's amazing what kind of sound you can get from amplifiers, and it's amazing to actually play a guitar with my friends. To be a Rainboom. To hear nothing but the music, and the vocals that go with it.

But that could only last so long. In the space of an hour, we had time to share months' worth of gossip. Rainbow tells Twilight about soccer and baseball. Rarity her upcoming fashion line. Fluttershy tells her about the animal shelter she works at, Applejack about Sweet Apple Acres, and Pinkie? She laughs the whole time, and we welcome it. But now we're at our feet – DJ Pon is back at the amphitheatre, waiting for us. Her farewells were quick, while ours drag on. None of us want her to go – even Spike looks reluctant. But it's Applejack who says what we're all thinking.

"Sure wish you could stay longer."

Short, blunt, to the point. As expected, and is welcomed.

"Me too," says Twilight. "But I have responsibilities in Equestria that I need to get back to. Its citizens need me. But now I can go through the portal whenever I need to. So…this isn't goodbye. It's just goodbye till next time."

One after the other, the girls hug her. Finally, it's my turn. But the look on Twilight's face is different. For a moment, I'm reminded of when she arrived here a few days ago. I was the first one to come to her, and I still remember the look she gave me, of the distrust that shone through her eyes. This isn't the same look. But it isn't one of joy either.

"Um, guys?" Twilight says to the other Rainbooms. "Can you give us a minute? It's, er, pony stuff."

"I like ponies," says Fluttershy blankly.

"Don't think that's what she meant," Applejack says. "Go on Twilight. We get ya."

If they do, then they're on a higher level of awareness than I am. Nonetheless, I follow Twilight away from the statue, to the road that runs parallel to the school. If I were to go down it, I'd end up at the Sweet Shoppe. Beyond that, the rest of Canterlot, and the city that lies beyond.

"Long road," Twilight says.

"It's not that long," I murmur. "If I took the bus, I'd end up in the city in thirty minutes. Twenty on the weekend."

We look at each other. A cold wind blows, making our hair wave like manes. It'll be winter soon, I reflect – I can see the autumn leaves covering the grass back at the school.

I nod. We look at each other in silence, waiting for one of us to break the silence.

"You sure you want to stay?"

I remain silent, and look back at the city. So far, so large…it reminds me of Canterlot. _My_ Canterlot. Looming over me, even across dimensions.

"Sunset?"

"Yeah, about that," I say, rubbing my neck. I glance back at the Wondercolt statue. "I don't think I'm ready."

"What, after everything you did?"

"Yes, after everything I did," I sigh – I was hoping Twilight wouldn't bring this up. "I mean, I betrayed Celestia's trust, I stole your crown, I made the lives of the students here miserable, I-"

"What? No," Twilight exclaims. "I mean, everything you've done _since_ then. The Rainbooms, the Dazzlings, you being…you."

I stare at her. I want to say something, but I can't form words. The wind blows harder, but I no longer feel its chill.

"Sunset, before I leave, I want you to know…I forgive you," says Twilight. "I mean, I thought I'd forgiven you at the Fall Formal, and I guess I did, but now, after these past few days…I trust you. I can call you a friend. And I know Celestia would forgive you as well. In fact, I think she already has."

I look away – I don't want to talk about Celestia right now. "That was a long time ago," I say. "I don't think-"

"Sunset, when I arrived back in Equestria, the first thing she did was ask about you. And even before I became the princess of friendship, I've seen her forgive others for far worse. Whatever you've done in the past, I think you've redeemed yourself. And I know she'll think the same."

I still look down the road, so that Twilight can't see the tears in my eyes. She can't see what I see – a road leading down one way, a road to Equestria leading the other. Two roads, without a wood, even as leaves are carried on the wind.

"So, whadya say?" Twilight asks, laying a hand on my shoulder. "Ready to come back home?"

I turn, and smile. Twilight smiles in kind as well.

"Not yet," I say.

The smile fades.

"Maybe one day," I continue. "One day, I'll be able to return to Equestria, and look at Celestia in the eye. Maybe in her presence I can feel…redeemed." I look at the Rainbooms, and my smile grows brighter. "But I think there's a lot I can learn here about friendship as well. The Dazzlings are still out there. And it's not like I'll lack good company."

"No," says Twilight. "I guess not."

I stick out a hand. "Thanks Twilight," I say. "For everything."

Without hesitation, she takes my palm and shakes it. Handshakes aren't for hooves, but she takes to it like a natural. As does the final embrace between us. Finally, as friends.

We return to the Rainbooms – none of them ask what we talked about, but I don't think it's from lack of interest. They know by now that I'm intent on staying here for the foreseeable future. And I dare to hope that they welcome that.

"Ready?" Twilight asks Spike.

"Ready," he says.

The pair head through the portal, and we wave them off. I know that in mere moments, they'll arrive in Equestria, as an alicorn and dragon. Someday, I'll be ready to make the trip back. Someday, but not today – I begin to wipe my eye.

"You okay Sunset?" Fluttershy asks.

She looks at me. They all look at me. But I find the speck of dust, and smile.

"I'm fine," I say. "Great, actually."

That's the truth.

And I think they know it.

* * *

We head back to the amphitheatre. DJ Pon doesn't ask us what went down – not that she speaks much anyway, but I'm not complaining. The battle of the bands has finished, and two days from now, we'll be back at school. But the weekend's our oyster, and the amphitheatre is the pearl. But while she and the other girls set up their instruments, I walk to the edge of the stage and pull something out of my bag. A book with the image of a sun on it. The book that Celestia gave me all those years ago. A book that no longer feels alien to my hands. It's been less than an hour since Twilight left – since we said our goodbyes. But I want to get this out now. Something tells me that I'll be writing in this tome quite often. As I begin to do so:

 _Dear Princess Twilight,_

 _Missing you already, and I hope you'll be back soon. Things are definitely looking up for me here at Canterlot High. But I know I still have a lot to learn about friendship. Hope you don't mind if I write to you for advice when I need it._

 _Your friend,_

 _Sunset Shimmer._

It isn't that detailed, but as I close the book, I feel closure envelop my spirit as well. Twilight's back in Equestria, and I'm here. I'll miss her to be sure, but now, finally, it feels like I'm home. _Home_ , I reflect, as I whisper words under my breath. Words that have stayed with me for months, coming ever closer to this point.

 _Power…was all that I desired._

 _But all that grew inside me,_

 _Was a darkness I acquired._

 _When I began to fall,_

 _And I lost the path ahead._

 _That's when your friendship found me,_

 _And it lifted me instead._

 _Like a phoenix burning bright,_

 _In the sky._

 _I'll show there's another side to me,_

 _You can't deny._

 _I may not know what the future holds,_

 _But hear me when I say._

 _That my past does not define me,_

 _'Cause my past is not today._

"Hey, you ready or what?" Rainbow calls out.

I shut the book and look over at the girls. The ones who found me. Lifted me. Make me feel as high as the sun above us, bathing us with warmth – winter is near, while discontent is not.

"Ready," I call out. I run over and pick up my guitar. Ready to rock as well – specifically, to play _Shine Like Rainbows_. We need a good pick me up after everything that's happened, and since Fluttershy's first song got turned into a music war, least we can do is give her the joy of playing through this one uninterrupted. But, we have to start it first. And as Rainbow clears her throat, I suspect it might be awhile before that happens.

"So," she begins. "I'd like to introduce the following players to my…heh, I mean, _our_ band." She gestures to DJ Pon. "Our turntablist, DJ Pon, who just made this band twenty percent cooler."

DJ Pon gives us the thumbs up. I return it, while wondering how Rainbow Dash arrived at twenty percent specifically.

"And secondly, but worth no less, Sunset Shimmer," Rainbow continues. "Guitar player, backup vocalist, and all around cool person."

I blink. "Cool person?"

"Yeah, cool person," she says. "The person who got us out of the darkest place this band has ever been. Person who helped whoop the sirens' arses, and who's going to make this band forty percent cooler."

"Forty percent?" Rarity asks.

"Yeah. Twenty plus twenty. Forty."

"Right," says Applejack.

"Or…" Rainbow smirks. "Maybe twenty-five."

I return the smirk. Yeah, I get it. I saved you. We're cool.

"Oh, and one more thing," Rainbow says. "We still need a song from you."

"A song?" I blurt out.

"Yeah," she says. "Band requirement."

Applejack looks at her. "Rainbow, we didn't agree to this."

"Course we didn't. But I did."

"Rainbow-"

"Guys, guys, it's fine," I say – I can take the joke, even if the others are slower on the uptake. "I mean, I may have one in the works, and Rainbow may have heard it but…" I trail off, as my eye catch's Rainbow's. "But it's a work in progress."

The other girls give me encouragement. All but Rainbow, who nods. Maybe she understands as I do that some songs are solo works.

But not this one. _Shine Like Rainbows_ is a song written for five players, but not so restrictive that two more can't join in. So, we're ready. _I'm_ ready.

"One two three four!" Pinkie calls out before setting us off.

So at last, without fear or hesitation, I play. Without holding back, I sing. Now, finally, as a member of the Rainbooms…

I feel redeemed.

* * *

"Night guys. See you on Monday."

Evening has arrived. Farewells are said, warm wishes are given, and DJ Pon remains silent the whole time. Guess being replaced on backup vocals isn't something I'll have to worry about. But, hey, I'm glad for her company, as I am with the rest of the Rainbooms. But, it's here that our company part ways. I have to get this guitar to the music room – I have no idea how it ended up on the stage, and if I believed in fate, I might be inclined to believe it was placed there. But, I can guess at its place of origin. So on that note, I've walked over from the amphitheatre, and am now in the courtyard of Canterlot High. I smile as I look at the Wondercolt statue. Once, it felt like a sentinel, standing over me in silent judgement. Now, it feels like a welcome reminder of the world that I came from. A world I can someday return to. Not like this, granted, but still, as me. To see Twilight. To see Celestia.

But that day's not yet here, even as this day draws to its end. While still in the light, I walk up to the front doors and-

"Ouch!"

Bump into them – damn things didn't open, and upon reflection, it's obvious why. It's Saturday. Schools don't open on Saturday, especially schools that have only narrowly escaped enthrallment by winged dragon-wannabees. I sigh, and rest my head against the glass. I could just bring the guitar back on Saturday I guess, or just store it under the amphitheatre. But that would-

"Sunset Shimmer?"

 _Celestia?_

As I did on Tuesday evening, I look around, expecting to see the Celestia of my world. Like then, I realize that it's not her. It's Principal Celestia only.

"Why are you here?" She walks over to me – close enough so that through the gloom, I can see her eyes. Bright magenta. They shine with a light of their own. A light that the Dazzlings temporarily put out. Light that looks like it's on the verge of fire, as she looks at the guitar in my hands.

"I was just returning this to the music room," I murmur.

"Uh-huh." I force a smile – her voice is her own. A bit scathing, a bit suspicious, but that's still better than the monotone I had to listen to over the past few days. "Well, I'll take it in. You should head home." She takes the instrument and begins unlocking the door.

"Which home?" I murmur, my smile fading.

"Hmm?" She glances at me, but says nothing.

 _No home._

I blink. That voice. It can't be-

"Well, you should get going," she says.

"Yeah," I say, feeling autumn's chill enter my veins. "I'll get on that."

I turn around and begin walking. The Dazzlings were right, I reflect. If they'd succeeded, no-one would remember what I'd done. But they didn't succeed, so now I'm back to being the face of everything bad at Canterlot. I kick a stone as I walk towards the street and-

"Oh, and Sunset?"

I look back at Celestia. And raise an eyebrow, as I see a smile on her lips.

"You sung excellently, by the way," she says.

"I did?"

"Yes. I mean, I'm not sure what happened exactly, and, well, haven't really been myself over the past few days."

 _I've noticed._

"But, well, keep it up," she says. "You've got a real talent."

Talent. I smile, as I remember how a Celestia of another world told me that same thing all those years ago.

"Thanks," I say.

Hearing it from this one, after all I've done…I appreciate it just as much.

She nods and enters the school. The wind has died down, and warmth enters my heart again. I look back at the street, as my mind reflects on my principal's words. To 'keep it up.' I glance at the setting sun, its rays of light visible beyond the school structure. I smile again, as I remember Rainbow's words – they need a song from me.

Finally, at long last, I'm ready to sing it.

* * *

Celestia would kill me if she caught me on the roof.

This world's Celestia, specifically. I can't say what the Celestia of my world would do exactly. Probably something similar, but not exactly the same. This world has counterparts to Equestria, but I've long since realized that there's far too many quirks in everyone here to be called exact copies. And in the end, you can only be responsible for your own actions. So yes, I take responsibility for climbing up onto the roof, to catch the last glimpse of a setting sun. A passage of time as old as Creation itself. The sun rises, the sun sets, but what we do each day is what matters. Now, with time laid before me as sure as the rays of light, I no longer feel trapped. I see this world's sun, and drink in its light, its warmth. Its feeling that for all the differences between worlds, the sun and sky are the same.

Finally, it completes its journey, as I have. Its light disappears from view, leaving the world in darkness. But, for the first time in a long time, my world is no longer dark. The time has come to sing.

 _Power…was all that I desired._

 _But all that grew inside me,_

 _Was a darkness I acquired._

I turn away from the west, and begin walking eastward. Specifically to the dome that juts up from the centre of the roof, its glass no longer reflecting the evening light. It's a way of allowing natural light to enter the school, and its glass is crystal clear.

 _When I began to fall,_

 _And I lost the path ahead._

 _That's when your friendship found me,_

 _And it lifted me instead._

No whispers, no murmurs, the words flow, as my friends reside in my mind's eye. Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow, Applejack, Twilight…The ones who rescued me from the darkness. Brought me out of shadow, and allowed me to find my own light again.

 _Like a phoenix burning bright,_

 _In the sky._

 _I'll show there's another side to me,_

 _You can't deny._

I near the dome. Like the sun, my journey will continue. How much of Canterlot High will remember what happened? Time will tell, I suppose. But light, not time, is the constant of the universe. For all I've done, I can't stop. What I've done over these past few days aren't the end of my road, but the start.

 _I may not know what the future holds,_

 _But hear me when I say._

 _That my past does not define me,_

 _'Cause my past is not today._

I finally reach the glass, and see my reflection. See my eyes, my lips, their smile. I raise a palm to its cold surface, and for a moment, feel a chill. So frail, I think. The portal in the statue is less solid, but how easy it would be to slip through. To stumble and fall.

 _Sunset…_

I see her in the glass. Looking at me. The demon. She bares her teeth, and her eyes rage with a fire that is bereft of warmth. She looks…desperate, I reflect. Her voice is but a whimper. In that moment of silence, as light and time become one…I swish her away. My hand slides across the glass, and she fades from view as surely as the sun, but many times as faster. Unlike the sun, she'll never return, even though she'll always be there. We all have our demons, I reflect. Those demons are always lurking, ready to emerge from the black depths of our inner selves if given the opportunity. But never again will she control me. Never again will I see her, or listen to her barbed tongue. I look up at the night sky, and see the stars arrayed before me. Too far to feel their warmth, yet their light is welcome all the same.

 _Ambition…_

 _Is what I believed._

 _Would be the only way,_

 _To set me free._

The words come out unbidden, but not unwelcome. The song continues, as I continue eastward.

 _But when it disappeared,_

 _And I found myself alone._

 _That's when you came and got me,_

 _And it felt like I was home._

I toss my jacket aside. It's become too warm for it now. And, I reflect, it's the same jacket I came to this world in. The jacket everyone knows me by. Maybe it's time for a change of wardrobe, if not scenery. Because, after all, this is my home now. The Rainbooms found me. Accepted me. Made me feel that I belonged.

 _Like a phoenix burning bright,_

 _In the sky._

 _I'll show there's another side to me,_

 _You can't deny._

The song is nearly at its end, and finally, I reach the eastern edge of the roof. I stare, for a moment, for I can see the sun beginning to rise. How long have I been up here?

 _Does it matter?_

The voice is my own, unmarred by any id within. Enough for me to answer that yes, it does matter. But, I suppose, maybe I already know the answer. Light, not time, is the universe's constant, as surely as the setting of the sun. As at long last, I see it rise, bathing me in its glow.

 _I may not know what the future holds_

 _But hear me when I say_

 _That my past does not define me_

 _'Cause my past is not today_

The song ends, the sun rises, and I find myself rising with it. This time, without fear. Light and magic, I embrace them both. The magic, in the knowledge that there'll always be more to learn. The light, in the knowledge that shadow will always exist, but never again will it consume me. The alicorn I saw all those years ago is the person I'll never be, for good or ill. But that no longer matters. Even as wings of light form around me, blazing with the glory of a hundred suns, I know that their fire will fade. The light will pass, the wings will diminish. I welcome them, but know that their time will pass. The present is now, but it is the future I look to. I will tread my path on my own feet, without the wings of angel or alicorn.

For the past does not define me.

And it never will again.

 **The End**

* * *

 _A/N_

 _I remember when_ Rainbow Rocks _came out, with people speculating that Sunset represented some kind of seventh element of harmony. Course that's long past the point of relevance now, since the elements have been retired from the show, but if it was up to me, I'd have gone with some like "courage" or "forgiveness." Still, the_ Equestria Girls _website lists redemption in Sunset's "what she stands for" entry, so that's about as close as official confirmation we're going to get, even if it's not an actual element. And it fits with the story I guess, hence the chapter title._

 _Per the_ Past is Not Today _sequence, I knew I wanted to incorporate it into the story, but you could make a reasonable argument that it takes place before_ Rainbow Rocks _\- it does show the immediate aftermath of the first film at least, and it arguably fits better, since it Sunset making the promise to "show the other side of me." Still, I think it can work as well taking place after_ Rainbow Rocks _because Sunset being in high spirits in the song fits the end of_ Rainbow Rocks _, but not so much the beginning, where she's in low spirits. Course that doesn't discount the idea that her spirits sagged in the interval between the two films, but I feel it also works as a transition to_ Friendship Games _, which is basically the last stage of her original character arc, and in the third film, she's still plagued by insecurities, albeit not to the extent of the second film. Likewise, her attire in the short (the cyan undershirt) is in sync with_ Friendship Games _but not_ Rainbow Rocks _, where she's still got the purple undershirt from the first film. If you want a good example of how character appearance can add to character development in visual media, Zuko's shifting appearance over_ The Last Airbender _is a great example, and while Sunset isn't nearly on that level of said development, I'm willing to apply the same concept, even in a non-visual medium._

 _And for sticklers, I know Ishi Rudell stated that the entire sequence is metaphorical, but, well, creative licence. I did have a choice as to whether Sunset would really sing from evening to morning, and that's admittedly stretching things, but the wings sequence doesn't feel out of place, especially since Daydream Shimmer is a thing later on._

 _Anyway, that's that. Thanks for those who reviewed. Far as shameless plugs go, don't have any other MLP stories on my 'to write' list, but am currently working on a_ Sonic the Hedgehog _story titled_ Fire in a Crowded Workshop _. So, um, laters._


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